Real World
RECAPS, WEECAPS, AND MORE
Latest Episode |
||||
Mondo Extra |
Master of RealityThe Jonathan Murray Interview - Reality TV's godfather and the executive producer of The Real World, Bad Girls Club, and Keeping Up with the Kardashians, gets real about casting the perfect Puck, working with tabloid celebs and what viewers actually want to see. |
02.25.2021 | N/A |
Daniel Manu |
Ep. |
Title |
Air/Pub'l |
Grade |
Author |
17-24 Recap |
Step DownTime To Say Goodbye - Fantasy Fest. Then the housemates all go home and the national nightmare is finally over. |
08.14.2006 08.21.2006 |
D+ |
Stee |
17-23 Recap |
Have Cake, Will Eat It TooSvetlana's Birthday - Svetlana's boyfriend comes to visit for her birthday; things occur. |
08.07.2006 08.11.2006 |
D+ |
Stee |
17-22 Recap |
Marathon ManRegaining The Pace - Tyler runs a marathon, pisses off John and Janelle. |
07.31.2006 08.05.2006 |
D+ |
Stee |
17-21 Recap |
RelationshipsRelationships - MTV only used "Relationships" as a title because "A Ploy To Get On Television And A B-Story Featuring A Boring Character Doing Not Much At All" was too long. |
07.24.2006 07.30.2006 |
F |
Lauren S |
17-20 Recap |
The Neverending CycleJose Gets Stranded - There's fighting. There's making up. There's so much understanding of each other in the end that you could just vomit. |
07.17.2006 07.23.2006 |
D+ |
Lauren S |
17-19 Recap |
Mainly On The PlainSpanish Getaway - The kids go to Spain. Svet whines a lot. |
07.10.2006 07.12.2006 |
F |
Stee |
17-18 Recap |
BurnedWake Of The Storm - Svet finds out about Tyler's burn book, and it makes her cry. |
06.26.2006 07.02.2006 |
B- |
Stee |
17-17 Recap |
EvacuateHurricane Wilma - Hurricane Wilma forces the kids to Fort Lauderdale. |
06.19.2006 06.23.2006 |
D+ |
Stee |
17-16 Recap |
Bra RapeLets [sic] Get Physical - John removes Janelle's bra without permission. |
06.12.2006 06.17.2006 |
D |
Stee |
17-15 Recap |
Zach Is A Fucking DoucheZach's Girl Trouble - Svet has to go home because Martin's dad is dying. Zach uses every awkward bullshit breakup phrase to dump Crystal. |
06.05.2006 06.11.2006 |
D |
Stee |
17-14 Recap |
Slam!Burn Book - Tyler talks shit about John and it gets back to him. Mystic Tan turns the world orange. Paula is sad because the producers won't let Abusive Keith stay at the house for liability reasons. Tyler writes down mean things about Svet. |
05.29.2006 06.02.2006 |
D+ |
Stee |
17-13 Recap |
Jose Locates His BallsJanelle And Jose's Fight - Jose tells Janelle off. Janelle does not like that. |
05.22.2006 05.26.2006 |
D+ |
Stee |
17-12 Recap |
Insane In The MembraneOpening Day - The kids open their awful tanning salon. Paula is crazy some more. |
05.15.2006 05.19.2006 |
C+ |
Stee |
17-11 Recap |
Brokeback Hot TubTyler's Night Of Fun - Tyler gets laid. It somehow ruins Svet's faith in men. |
05.08.2006 05.13.2006 |
D+ |
Stee |
17-10 Recap |
Shrinky DinkClarification - Paula sees a shrink. Zach gets laid. |
05.01.2006 05.07.2006 |
D+ |
Stee |
17-9 Recap |
BlowGettin' Stormy - The kids hide out from the hurricane in West Palm Beach. Then they fight. Paula is crazy. Then they go home. |
04.24.2006 04.28.2006 |
C- |
Stee |
17-8 Recap |
The One With RitaJohn And Paula's Fight - John and Paula fight a lot about girls, oddly enough. Also, the kids are displaced by hurricane Rita. Get 'em, Rita! |
04.17.2006 04.22.2006 |
C- |
Stee |
17-7 Recap |
TitsJohn's Got Game - Jose sees some. He doesn't like them. Also, Paula reveals that she was abused by her ex and put into a hospital. Not nice! |
04.10.2006 04.14.2006 |
C+ |
Stee |
17-6 Recap |
Pier 1 SuckportsZach Steps It Up - Svet is still mad that she's not manager. Zach gets fed up. The kids shop for salon furnishings at Pier 1. Only slightly less embarrassing than having a Xenu-lovin' Fat Actress shill for your crap wicker suckatorium is having the kids of The Real World do it. |
04.03.2006 04.06.2006 |
D |
Stee |
17-5 Recap |
Putting The "Pain" In "Campaign"No Friends Of Mine - The kids campaign and vote to see who will be elected manager of the Mystic Tan. And that's it. Seriously. |
03.27.2006 04.01.2006 |
D |
Stee |
17-4 Recap |
Git-R-Done!Troubled Waters - Svet babbles all over the place about her relationship with her crap boyfriend. She eats a pie and then reveals she was raped. |
03.20.2006 03.26.2006 |
D |
Stee |
17-3 Recap |
In-Tan-Bleh-ScentSvetlana's Tough Times - The kids learn that their job is going to be opening and operating a spray-on tanning salon. Also, Tyler is mean to Svet. |
03.13.2006 03.17.2006 |
D+ |
Stee |
17-2 Recap |
Paula-In-A-Canoe And Tyler TooClub Hoppin' - Tyler makes the kids go to a gay bar. John leaves early, upsetting Tyler. Paula has more mental problems. She goes for a ride in the kayak. |
03.06.2006 03.12.2006 |
N/A |
Stee |
17-1 Recap |
Meet The New Cast. Same As The Old Cast.Premiere - A new season starts, and apparently we will get fooled again, because they're all more of the same. Only two things seem, at this early stage, to be at all promising: the hurricanes, and the fact that Paula is bulimic. Also, both are things that could fuck up the house's plumbing system! |
02.27.2006 03.05.2006 |
C- |
Stee |
16-23 Recap |
True ColorsThe End Of The Skankocence - Wes and Neh come very close to murdering Rachel. Also, everyone leaves the house. |
11.21.2005 11.27.2005 |
D |
Stee |
16-22 Recap |
Wes And WesserJailhouse Doc - Neh goes to jail then gets out then Wes gets drunk and maybe slaps Rachel then he and Neh rent big ruffly tuxes then they all go to the terrible premiere of their terrible documentary. |
11.14.2005 11.17.2005 |
D |
Stee |
16-21 Recap |
How The Wes Was WonWren And Stumpy - Wes and Wren have a dumb non-relationship so developed that when Wes makes out with Johanna in front of her, only then does Wren take Wes back home for some pasty loving. Also, Neh does a poor job editing the doc, and then gets arrested. |
11.07.2005 11.10.2005 |
D |
Stee |
16-20 Recap |
Two PrincesMosta Sleepa - The kids go to Costa Rica. Wes pretends to be Prince Harry. Danny breaks up with Mel because she says she'd have sex with Prince William. Yes, it's just as retarded as is sound. |
10.31.2005 11.04.2005 |
D |
Stee |
16-19 Recap |
Move Along Folks, Nothing To See Here. Literally.What's Up, Doc? - Okay, not literally. Figuratively, actually. But just barely. The kids work on their SXSW documentary, and sleep a lot. |
10.24.2005 10.27.2005 |
N/A |
Stee |
16-18 Recap |
Be All The Pussboy That You Can BeShe Puts The "Rachel" In "Cocktease" - Rachel's Army boyfriend comes to visit, tiny rat dog in tow, and she refuses to have sex with him as promised, and then breaks up with him. Good visit. |
10.17.2005 10.21.2005 |
C- |
Stee |
16-17 Recap |
Lace! How Low Can You Go?Everybody Hates Lacey - Lacey's shit-talking hits a new level when she gets busted talking smack about Rachel's crap face on tape. Also: someone sings a song while playing the banjo. Cool! |
10.10.2005 10.13.2005 |
D+ |
Stee |
16-16 Recap |
Making The BandEvery Girl's My Girlfriend - When a group of rocker guys try to fuck Melinda, Danny ain't having it! |
10.03.2005 10.06.2005 |
C- |
Stee |
16-15 Recap |
The Most Exciting Half-Hour Of Television Ever!Lee-Oh! - OMG! Leo and Johanna, like, go back and forth on digging each other and they totally make out and then Leo has a girlfriend and Johanna is pissed and everyone weighs in on the controversy except for Danny and Neh who aren't even in the episode and Lacey watches Leo and Johanna make out on the closed-circuit TV and then Wes totally throws furniture into the pool! It's awesome! All of it! |
09.26.2005 09.29.2005 |
C- |
Stee |
16-14 Recap |
Bummed OutDanny And The Deep Blue Zzzz - Wes is -- gasp! -- a tool. Lacey -- gasp! -- butts in. Danny and Melinda have -- gasp! -- relationship trouble. Oh, and Johanna steals a homeless lady's rose and gets arrested and sent to jail. Wait...what?! |
09.19.2005 09.22.2005 |
C- |
Stee |
16-13 Recap |
Wild Wild WesRanch Undressing - The kids go to a dude ranch to drink beer and sit in a hot tub. Thank God they got away from their normal lives. Also, Danny and Melinda bore us to tears. |
09.12.2005 09.15.2005 |
C- |
Stee |
16-12 Recap |
Music Makes The People Come TogetherMusic Makes The People Come Together - The roommates disagree over which bands to profile in their documentary, and Nehemiah nearly gets into a big fight in a bar. |
09.05.2005 09.11.2005 |
C+ |
Kim |
16-11 Recap |
Birds Of A FeatherBirds Of A Feather - Wes chooses Wren over Johanna. Rachel blows up at Nehemiah again. |
08.29.2005 09.03.2005 |
C |
Kim |
16-10 Recap |
The Return Of DannyThe Return Of Danny - Danny comes back, and acts like a jerk to Melinda. Melinda gets drunk, and Danny takes care of her, and suddenly they love each other again. |
08.22.2005 08.27.2005 |
C |
Kim |
16-9 Recap |
Wes, You Ignorant SlutWes, You Ignorant Slut - I think Nehemiah said it best: "Wes is not attractive." But that doesn't stop him from getting laid by a girl with low self-esteem and a desperate desire to appear on television. |
08.15.2005 08.19.2005 |
B- |
LTG |
16-8 Recap |
Go Away SadGo Away Sad - Danny goes home for his mother's funeral. Lacey's boyfriend visits. |
08.08.2005 08.13.2005 |
C- |
Kim |
16-7 Recap |
Valentine's DayValentine's Day - Everyone gets romantic, and then Danny gets some horrible news. |
08.01.2005 08.05.2005 |
B- |
Kim |
16-6 Recap |
Ordering Up CheerleadersOrdering Up Cheerleaders - Danny's eye finally recovers enough that he feels he can unleash his deformed face on the world. |
07.25.2005 08.01.2005 |
C- |
Kim |
16-5 Recap |
Ice Cream MeltsIce Cream Melts - Rachel tries dating, but goes back to her dumb boyfriend. |
07.18.2005 07.23.2005 |
B- |
Kim |
16-4 Recap |
A Kiss Is Still A KissA Kiss Is Still A Kiss - Nehemiah and Rachel tangle over the war in Iraq. Melinda makes out with Wes as a joke, and Danny gets pissed. |
07.11.2005 07.15.2005 |
C |
Kim |
16-3 Recap |
Body ShotsBody Shots - Danny has eye surgery. Rachel likes Wes, who likes Johanna, who likes the bartender. |
07.04.2005 07.07.2005 |
C |
Kim |
16-2 Recap |
Eye In The SkyEye In The Sky - Melinda breaks up with her boyfriend so that she can date broken Danny. |
06.27.2005 06.30.2005 |
C+ |
Kim |
16-1 Recap |
Skull FractureSkull Fracture - The roommates all move in and get drunk, and then Danny gets his eyeball broken. |
06.20.2005 06.24.2005 |
C |
Kim |
15-25 Recap |
"I Wanna Be the Girl In the Hot Tub"Landon's Huge Boner - It's good to have goals. It's better, though, to push them aside for the time you're going to be on the world's oldest reality show. |
03.07.2005 03.12.2005 |
C- |
Pamie |
15-24 Recap |
Fat PigDon't Call Me Daughter - Sarah's family says she's fat. She is not. Families are evil. |
02.28.2005 03.05.2005 |
C+ |
Stee |
15-23 Recap |
The Real MJMake New Friends, But Keep The Old - MJ invites both his girlfriend and gigantor best friend to visit at the same time, resulting in hurt feelings and a possible breakup. Also, Landon has the love that dares not speak its name for MJ. |
02.21.2005 02.27.2005 |
C- |
Stee |
15-22 Recap |
Karamo Is WeirdKaramo Is Weird - Willie dates two men at the same time. Everyone hates Karamo. |
02.14.2005 02.20.2005 |
C |
Kim |
15-21 Recap |
Melanie's Sob StoryMelanie's Sob Story - Shavonda tells Melanie off, and Melanie contemplates going home, but doesn't. |
02.07.2005 02.13.2005 |
C- |
Kim |
15-20 Recap |
So TiredSo Tired - Shavonda and Landon try to figure out their relationship post-Fiji, and Karamo hooks up with Ed. |
01.31.2005 02.06.2005 |
F |
Kim |
15-19 Recap |
Slitting ThroatsSlitting Throats - Landon and Shavonda hook up in Fiji; Karamo disapproves. |
01.24.2005 01.30.2005 |
C+ |
Kim |
15-18 Recap |
Fiji WaterFiji Water - The roommates head to Fiji for a vacation. |
01.17.2005 01.22.2005 |
C+ |
Kim |
15-17 Recap |
Bugging OutBugging Out - Melanie has scabies. |
01.10.2005 01.15.2005 |
B |
Kim |
15-16 Recap |
My Name Is LandonMy Name Is Landon - Landon decides to curtail his drinking. |
01.03.2005 01.09.2005 |
C- |
Kim |
15-15 Recap |
Passion Of The SarahPassion Of The Sarah - Sarah accuses MJ of being sexist. Willie skips out on work. |
12.27.2004 01.02.2005 |
D+ |
Kim |
15-14 Recap |
He's Just Not That Into YouHe's Just Not That Into You - Dorian gets played by Karamo. |
12.06.2004 12.12.2004 |
B |
Kim |
15-13 Recap |
No FraternizationNo Fraternization - Landon is nearly fired, and Shavonda reveals her ignorance. |
11.29.2004 12.05.2004 |
B- |
Kim |
15-12 Recap |
Gay-Straight AllianceGay-Straight Alliance - Sarah tries to hook up with a gay dude, while MJ feels bad after hooking up with some chick. |
11.22.2004 11.29.2004 |
C+ |
Kim |
15-11 Recap |
Roller BoogieRoller Boogie - Everyone hates Landon, for various reasons. |
11.15.2004 11.21.2004 |
C |
Kim |
15-10 Recap |
Muja Star To The Rescue!Muja Star To The Rescue! - MJ reveals his superhero alter ego, and Shavonda continues to suck beyond the telling of it. |
11.08.2004 11.14.2004 |
C |
Kim |
15-9 Recap |
Red FloodRed Flood - Landon's ex-girlfriend visits with her best friend, and the best friend gets drunk and pukes. A whole lot. A whole lot of fruit punch. |
11.01.2004 11.07.2004 |
C+ |
Kim |
15-8 Recap |
Erotic Non-ThrillerErotic Non-Thriller - Shavonda reads soft porn and Landon is a drunkie. |
10.25.2004 10.31.2004 |
C+ |
Kim |
15-7 Recap |
Melanie Hates EverythingMelanie Hates Everything - Karamo meets a guy named Dorian, but is nervous about openly expressing affection since his family isn't so cool with the gay thing just yet. After a talk with Willie's super-cool boyfriend Dan, Karamo gets more comfortable and cuddles with Dorian on the couch. There's even kissing! Not to mention all the cuddling that Willie and Dan did. This episode was gayriffic! The roommates start their jobs, and are charged with building a playground at a children's center, which they all seem to dig. Except Melanie, who hates everything. Which causes her roommates to hate her. |
10.18.2004 10.23.2004 |
B+ |
Kim |
15-6 Recap |
Love HangoverLove Hangover - MJ drunk-dials Ashley and says that he loves her. Sarah realizes that she needs to stop hooking up with MJ. Shavonda breaks up with Shaun once she realizes that she has a crush on Landon. |
10.11.2004 10.17.2004 |
B- |
Kim |
15-5 Recap |
Wanted: Dead or AliveWanted: Dead or Alive - Karamo and MJ come to an uneasy truce. The roommates begin their job with the Philadelphia Soul. |
10.04.2004 10.07.2004 |
B- |
Kim |
15-4 Recap |
Angry Black ManAngry Black Man - Karamo tries to avoid the stereotype, but MJ and Landon don't make it easy. |
09.27.2004 10.03.2004 |
A |
Kim |
15-3 Recap |
Pretty and Witty and GayPretty and Witty and Gay - Willie hooks up, and Melanie reveals her judgmental side. |
09.20.2004 09.26.2004 |
B- |
Kim |
15-2 Recap |
It's Just Emotion That's Taking Me OverIt's Just Emotion That's Taking Me Over - Sarah reveals that she's not as casual about sex as she first claimed, when she freaks out on MJ. |
09.13.2004 09.19.2004 |
A |
Kim |
15-1 Recap |
Bank On ItBank On It - The new batch of seven strangers move into an old bank in Philadelphia. |
09.06.2004 09.12.2004 |
B+ |
Kim |
14-26 Recap |
2 Punk Rock 4 This: The Real World San Diego Reunion2 Punk Rock 4 This: The Real World San Diego Reunion - The roommates come back together to discuss the season. |
07.05.2004 07.11.2004 |
B |
Kim |
14-25 Recap |
Out To SeaOut To Sea - Robin goes to court, and then everyone leaves. |
06.28.2004 07.02.2004 |
C+ |
Kim |
14-24 Recap |
SlackerSlacker - Charlie's girlfriend visits, so he skips work. |
06.21.2004 06.27.2004 |
C- |
Kim |
14-23 Recap |
Deadbeat DadDeadbeat Dad - Jacquese has to confront his anger toward his absentee father. |
06.14.2004 06.20.2004 |
C+ |
Kim |
14-22 Recap |
Replacing FrankieReplacing Frankie - The roommates choose Frankie's replacement. |
06.07.2004 06.13.2004 |
C+ |
Kim |
14-21 Recap |
Farewell, Frankie!Farewell, Frankie! - Frankie finally leaves. Good riddance. |
05.31.2004 06.06.2004 |
A |
Kim |
14-20 Recap |
Family SnapshotsFamily Snapshots - Frankie's family visits, just in time to see her wig come into full bloom. Jamie's mom visits too, but that's boring, because Jamie isn't crazy. |
05.24.2004 05.30.2004 |
B- |
Miss Alli |
14-19 Recap |
Pitching A TentPitching A Tent - The roommates put up a tent in the volleyball court, and it sees some action. |
05.17.2004 05.21.2004 |
B |
Kim |
14-18 Recap |
Greece Is The WordGreece Is The Word - The roommate take a vacation to Greece, but not a vacation from the drama. |
05.03.2004 05.08.2004 |
B- |
Kim |
14-17 Recap |
The Great OutdoorsThe Great Outdoors - Brad and Cameran make out on a camping trip, and the roommates find out they are going to Greece. |
04.26.2004 05.02.2004 |
B- |
Kim |
14-16 Recap |
Up And AdamUp And Adam - Dave comes to visit, and Frankie is worried that Adam will show up and make a scene. |
04.19.2004 04.25.2004 |
C |
Kim |
14-15 Recap |
Southern CharmSouthern Charm - Cameran is grossed out when Brad has a one-night stand. |
04.12.2004 04.18.2004 |
C- |
Kim |
14-14 Recap |
Not-So-Secret CuttingNot-So-Secret Cutting - Frankie is a cutter. Who knew? |
04.05.2004 04.11.2004 |
F |
Kim |
14-13 Recap |
Snake EyesSnake Eyes - Frankie isn't happy with the amount of attention Robin is getting for being hyperactive and annoying, so she buys a giant snake to try to bring the focus back to herself. And then she gets pissed off when Robin distracts attention from her yet again by rescuing the mouse that Frankie was going to feed to her snake. Has it really come to this? |
03.29.2004 04.02.2004 |
C- |
Kim |
14-12 Recap |
Man Over-BoredMan Over-Bored - The roommates want to quit their job, but don't. Randy hooks up with a chick with a fake tooth. |
03.15.2004 03.21.2004 |
C- |
Kim |
14-11 Recap |
Jealous AgainJealous Again - Brad's girlfriend, Andrea, comes to visit, and Cameran gets jealous. |
03.05.2004 03.14.2004 |
C- |
Kim |
14-10 Recap |
The High LifeThe High Life - Cameran goes to a shady party, and Robin meets Mike the Marine. |
03.01.2004 03.07.2004 |
C- |
Kim |
14-9 Recap |
Making ExcusesMaking Excuses - Everyone gets sick of Robin's excuses, and Frankie recommits to Dave. |
02.23.2004 02.28.2004 |
B- |
Kim |
14-8 Recap |
Helllooo, Kitty!Helllooo, Kitty! - Frankie hooks up with Adam, and then either doesn't remember, or pretends not to remember. |
02.16.2004 02.22.2004 |
B- |
Kim |
14-7 Recap |
Spoon!Spoon! - Robin and Randy find that spooning leads to misunderstandings. |
02.09.2004 02.10.2004 |
B- |
Kim |
14-6 Recap |
FalloutFallout - Robin and Brad get out of jail, and Frankie gets dumped (maybe) by her boyfriend. |
02.02.2004 02.07.2004 |
B- |
Kim |
14-5 Recap |
I Smell BaconI Smell Bacon - Robin gets arrested for battery, and Brad gets arrested for public drunkenness. |
01.26.2004 02.01.2004 |
A |
Kim |
14-4 Recap |
Tack And JibeTack And Jibe - The roommates have to take a final test to prove that they know enough about sailing to start working on charters. |
01.19.2004 01.25.2004 |
C+ |
Kim |
14-3 Recap |
Bazooka JoeBazooka Joe - Randy and Robin get closer, and one night when they drunkenly cuddle, Randy starts babbling about Bazooka Joe. |
01.12.2004 01.18.2004 |
B- |
Kim |
14-2 Recap |
Human RaceHuman Race - The roommates have a frank discussion about race relations after an incident with Robin outside a bar. |
01.12.2004 01.13.2004 |
B- |
Kim |
14-1 Recap |
Life's A BeachLife's A Beach - At least for the new set of roommates. |
01.05.2004 01.08.2004 |
C- |
Kim |
13-25 Recap |
French Kissing And TellingFrench Kissing And Telling - The roommates reunite to answer ten lame questions. |
12.01.2003 12.09.2003 |
N/A |
Kim |
13-24 Recap |
FinFin - The roommates pack up and leave. |
11.24.2003 11.30.2003 |
B- |
Kim |
13-23 Recap |
Strip For YouStrip For You - Mallory gets jealous when Ace likes strippers. |
11.17.2003 11.23.2003 |
B |
Kim |
13-22 Recap |
Adam's Romantic WoesAdam's Romantic Woes - Adam gets and loses a woman named Lamyae. |
11.10.2003 11.16.2003 |
C- |
Kim |
13-21 Recap |
BummerBummer - Leah gets some frightening medical news, and Adam's dad moves out. |
11.03.2003 11.07.2003 |
C- |
Kim |
13-20 Recap |
Hot In HerreHot In Herre - Leah loves Giuseppe, but she also really likes Adam's friend, Samir. |
10.27.2003 11.02.2003 |
C+ |
Kim |
13-19 Recap |
Paris In The SpringtimeParis In The Springtime - CT and Jamie start fighting, thanks to his roommates' involvement. |
10.20.2003 10.25.2003 |
C+ |
Kim |
13-18 Recap |
CT Will Work YouCT Will Work You - CT fights with a guy with a blurry face, and then with Adam, and then his girlfriend visits. |
10.06.2003 10.12.2003 |
C+ |
Kim |
13-17 Recap |
Foreign RelationsForeign Relations - The United States might go to war with Iraq and the roommates are bummed, especially Ace. |
09.29.2003 10.04.2003 |
C |
Kim |
13-16 Recap |
Swiss Near MissSwiss Near Miss - Mallory finally confronts Leah about her shitty behavior. |
09.22.2003 09.28.2003 |
B- |
Kim |
13-15 Recap |
The Italian JobThe Italian Job - Leah gets a date with an Italian man while the roommates are in Florence. |
09.15.2003 09.21.2003 |
C+ |
Kim |
13-14 Recap |
Travel WarningTravel Warning - The roommates complete their assignment and then take off for a vacation through Europe. Except for Chris, who missed the train. |
09.08.2003 09.14.2003 |
B- |
Kim |
13-13 Recap |
Gotta Be the ShoesGotta Be the Shoes - Mallory buys new shoes. Adam gets dismissed by a lady. |
09.01.2003 09.08.2003 |
B- |
Kim |
13-12 Recap |
Don't Kiss Me, KateDon't Kiss Me, Kate - Ace's girlfriend Kate comes to visit, but things don't go very well. |
08.25.2003 08.31.2003 |
C+ |
Kim |
13-11 Recap |
Kissing ToastKissing Toast - Simon's boyfriend, Kakistos, comes to visit. |
08.18.2003 08.24.2003 |
C |
Kim |
13-10 Recap |
The Trials of ChrisThe Trials of Chris - Christina and Leah yell at Chris some more. |
08.11.2003 08.17.2003 |
B |
Kim |
13-9 Recap |
The South Rises AgainThe South Rises Again - Ace's not-so-nice side finally comes out. |
07.28.2003 08.03.2003 |
B |
Kim |
13-8 Recap |
Pascual WarningPascual Warning - Mallory wants to hook up with Leah's baby (and we do mean baby) brother. |
07.21.2003 07.25.2003 |
B |
Kim |
13-7 Recap |
Rainbow BriceRainbow Brice - Brice makes the rain go away when he lays down the law for the roommates with their work. |
07.14.2003 07.20.2003 |
B- |
Kim |
13-6 Recap |
Drunk DialingDrunk Dialing - Chris continues to have problems with the women in the house -- mostly Leah. |
07.07.2003 07.10.2003 |
A+ |
Kim |
13-5 Recap |
BlurfaceBlurface - Adam hooks up with a girl with a blurry face. |
06.30.2003 07.01.2003 |
B- |
Kim |
13-4 Recap |
Nose CandyNose Candy - Chris chases Leah around the office with a giant booger on his finger. |
06.23.2003 06.29.2003 |
C |
Kim |
13-3 Recap |
AWOLAWOL - Mallory and Ace lose the camera crew and possibly hook up. |
06.16.2003 06.21.2003 |
C+ |
Kim |
13-2 Recap |
Over EasyOver Easy - Christina flirts with Chris through the process of making eggs. |
06.09.2003 06.10.2003 |
B- |
Kim |
13-1 Recap |
Sense of WonderSense of Wonder - The roommates arrive in Paris and get acquainted. |
06.02.2003 06.05.2003 |
B- |
Kim |
13-1 Recap |
Pardon My FrenchPardon My French - Meet the new roommates. Same as the old roommates. |
05.26.2003 05.27.2003 |
B- |
Kim |
12-28 Recap |
Seven The Hard WayThe Real World Las Vegas Reunion - Only a week after we saw them move out, the roommates are back to haunt us again. |
04.07.2003 04.18.2003 |
N/A |
Kim |
12-27 Recap |
Glory DaysGlory Days - Everyone moves out. Finally. |
03.31.2003 04.02.2003 |
D+ |
Kim |
12-26 Recap |
One WeekOne Week - Arissa finds out that Dario is a baby daddy. And we all find out that there's only one more week left in the season! |
03.24.2003 03.30.2003 |
F |
Kim |
12-25 Recap |
On Again, Off AgainOn Again, Off Again - Irulan and Alton are on again. Steven and Trishelle are off again. Kim is pissed off. Again. |
03.17.2003 03.18.2003 |
F |
Kim |
12-24 Recap |
Crazy TrainCrazy Train - Brynn thinks she might be crazy. Maybe she just needs to move away from her roommates! |
03.10.2003 03.16.2003 |
D+ |
Kim |
12-23 Recap |
Birthday SurpriseBirthday Surprise - If by "surprise," you mean "event that has happened many times before and everyone knew would happen again." |
03.03.2003 03.09.2003 |
F |
Kim |
12-22 Recap |
Brian's SongBrian's Song - Trishelle's friend Brian visits, and Steven gets jealous. |
02.24.2003 02.28.2003 |
F |
Kim |
12-21 Recap |
Round and RoundRound and Round - Another set of recycled storylines sees Alton and Irulan getting jealous and Arissa trying to change. |
02.17.2003 02.21.2003 |
F |
Kim |
12-20 Recap |
CheatersCheaters - Frank cheats on Emily with Trishelle. |
02.10.2003 02.16.2003 |
C- |
Kim |
12-19 Recap |
Mother, MotherMother, Mother - Arissa's mom is a big fat bitch, she's the biggest bitch in the whole wide world. |
02.03.2003 02.06.2003 |
C- |
Kim |
12-18 Recap |
Royal RumbleRoyal Rumble - Irulan and Alton make up by participating in a WWE-style brawl, complete with thrown glasses and broken pool cues. |
01.27.2003 02.01.2003 |
F |
Kim |
12-17 Recap |
Liar LiarLiar Liar - Alton has a threesome in Australia and then lies about it. |
01.20.2003 01.24.2003 |
F |
Kim |
12-16 Recap |
Land Down UnderLand Down Under - The roommates begin their vacation in Australia. |
01.13.2003 01.17.2003 |
F |
Kim |
12-15 Recap |
More of the SameMore of the Same - Alton and Irulan hook up some more. |
01.06.2003 01.10.2003 |
F |
Kim |
12-14 Recap |
Time to ChangeTime to Change - Arissa talks and talks about the changes she needs to make, but never actually makes any changes. |
12.16.2002 12.21.2002 |
F |
Kim |
12-13 Recap |
Thin Blue LineThin Blue Line - Trishelle finally takes a pregnancy test and thankgodfully, it's negative. |
12.09.2002 12.10.2002 |
B- |
Kim |
12-12 Recap |
Stand or FallStand or Fall - The roommates regress to high school gym class when they have to do a trust fall with Awesome Ann. |
12.02.2002 12.03.2002 |
F |
Kim |
12-11 Recap |
All ApologiesAll Apologies - Arissa is full of apologies after she calls Frank's one-night stand a skank. |
11.25.2002 11.26.2002 |
F |
Kim |
12-10 Recap |
No Glove, Lots of LoveNo Glove, Lots of Love - Steven and Trishelle have lots and lots of unprotected sex. Alton learns to love gay people. Not like that. |
11.18.2002 11.21.2002 |
B- |
Kim |
12-9 Recap |
Mommy DearestMommy Dearest - Alton's mommy comes to visit, and she is very, very proud of her son. |
11.11.2002 11.12.2002 |
B- |
Kim |
12-8 Recap |
CreepCreep - Irulan takes advantage of her open relationship to tease Alton. |
11.04.2002 11.09.2002 |
B- |
Kim |
12-7 Recap |
Going to a Go-GoGoing to a Go-Go - Brynn becomes a go-go dancer. Yes, they still exist. No, her boots are not made for walking. |
10.28.2002 10.29.2002 |
C |
Kim |
12-6 Recap |
I'm Not Gay, But My Costume IsCostume Party Poopers - Just calm the hell down, Alton. It'll hurt less that way, anyhow. |
10.21.2002 10.22.2002 |
B- |
Djb |
12-5 Recap |
Save the Drama for Your MamaSave the Drama for Your Mama - Brynn and Steven get in a big fight and there's a lot more drama. More than usual, even. |
10.14.2002 10.15.2002 |
B- |
Kim |
12-4 Recap |
Know Your RoleKnow Your Role - Frank attempts to tell Arissa what her role is, and Arissa is having none of it. Neither is Alton. |
10.07.2002 10.08.2002 |
B+ |
Kim |
12-3 Recap |
He Said, She SaidHe Said, She Said - Irulan might have told Frank that Arissa wanted to have sex with Steven, even though Arissa's still technically with her boyfriend from home. Frank asks Arissa about it, and Arissa gets pissed and confronts Irulan (after talking about it with Alton). Irulan yells at Frank, because she never said that about Arissa, and Frank apologizes, even though he's not sure what he's apologizing for. |
09.30.2002 10.03.2002 |
C |
Kim |
12-2 Recap |
Pregnant PausePregnant Pause - Alton is given pause when his ex-girlfriend thinks she's pregnant. Trishelle hooks up with Brynn and Steven. |
09.23.2002 09.24.2002 |
B- |
Kim |
12-1 Recap |
Las Vegas StripLas Vegas Strip - The roommates move into a suite in the Palms Casino and immediately get drunk and naked. |
09.16.2002 09.17.2002 |
A |
Kim |
11-26 Recap |
Welcome to Sin City: The Real World Guide to VegasWelcome to Sin City: The Real World Guide to Vegas - A preview of the Las Vegas season reveals that it's going to be so bad that it's good. |
09.02.2002 09.09.2002 |
B |
Kim |
11-25 Recap |
Holy Crap, That's a Bad MovieThe Real World: The Lost Season - This is the true story of the worst idea in MTV history. |
08.05.2002 08.08.2002 |
F |
Pamie |
11-24 Recap |
Stop Being Polite: The Real World Chicago ReunionStop Being Polite: The Real World Chicago Reunion - The Chicago roommates come back and say...nothing that's very interesting. |
07.15.2002 07.23.2002 |
F |
Kim |
11-23 Recap |
If I Promise to Miss You, Will You Go Away?If I Promise to Miss You, Will You Go Away? - This is the end. Goodbye, Chicago. |
07.08.2002 07.11.2002 |
C- |
Kim |
11-22 Recap |
Keri's RevengeCalled Out - Keri finally calls Kyle out on his fakery. And then there's some modeling. |
07.01.2002 07.02.2002 |
A |
Kim |
11-21 Recap |
Like Bread Crumbs in Meat LoafLike Bread Crumbs in Meat Loaf - This episode is mostly filler. Aneesa has a girlfriend named Danielle, who is bossy. Aneesa gets a second girlfriend, named LaTonia, who is a doormat. In the end, Aneesa dumps them both. |
06.24.2002 06.27.2002 |
B- |
Kim |
11-20 Recap |
Bloody Mary? Bloody Hell.Bloody Mary? Bloody Hell. - The roommates prepare to put on their skits at Chicagoween, and it only exacerbates the growing rift between Keri and Kyle. |
06.17.2002 06.24.2002 |
B- |
Kim |
11-19 Recap |
Telling StoriesTelling Stories - Tonya is still alone in Chicago while the other roommates are living it up in New England at Spooky World. |
06.10.2002 06.11.2002 |
B- |
Kim |
11-18 Recap |
Doctor's OrdersDoctor's Orders - The roommates go to New England to do research for their Halloween storytelling job. Tonya announces that she can't go, because her doctor has ordered her not to, and it definitely doesn't have anything to do with Justin coming for a visit. |
06.03.2002 06.04.2002 |
A |
Kim |
11-17 Recap |
St. Louis BluesSt. Louis Blues - The roommates go to St. Louis so that CJP can get some more closure, and Tonya talks smack on the phone. |
05.27.2002 05.30.2002 |
B+ |
Kim |
11-16 Recap |
Sexual RevolutionSexual Revolution - The soap opera of Kyle and Keri's relationship continues, and Aneesa loses the car keys. |
05.21.2002 05.23.2002 |
B- |
Kim |
11-15 Recap |
9/119/11 - It's Aneesa's birthday. It's also the day that the Pentagon and the World Trade Center were hit by terrorist attacks. |
05.06.2002 05.08.2002 |
B- |
Kim |
11-14 Recap |
The Trials of JobsThe Trials of Jobs - The roommates finish up their first jobs and find out about their new jobs. And now they will all be working together. |
04.29.2002 05.02.2002 |
B- |
Kim |
11-13 Recap |
The ClotThe Clot - Tonya is still sick. Aneesa is still self-absorbed. CJP is still a people-pleaser. |
04.22.2002 04.26.2002 |
B- |
Kim |
11-12 Recap |
Body BeautifulBody Beautiful - CJP reveals her body issues, and Tonya confronts Aneesa about the constant nudity. |
04.08.2002 04.10.2002 |
C+ |
Kim |
11-11 Recap |
Much Ado About NothingMuch Ado About Nothing - Tonya is scared of a fourteen-year-old, and she yells at the kids a lot. Theo gets along well with the kids. Keri leaves town for a weekend, and CJP makes a move on Kyle, only to be denied. |
04.01.2002 04.03.2002 |
B- |
Kim |
11-10 Recap |
A Long Walk Off a Short PierA Long Walk Off a Short Pier - That's what Kyle needs to take after acting like a jerk this episode. Also, Tonya makes a miraculous recovery, and Chris breaks up with Kurt again. |
03.25.2002 03.26.2002 |
B- |
Kim |
11-9 Recap |
Kidney Stone SoupKidney Stone Soup - Tonya's kidney problems flare up, bringing major drama. Kyle gets dumped by Nicole, and also, possibly, by Keri. |
03.18.2002 03.21.2002 |
B- |
Kim |
11-8 Recap |
CJP Hooks Up. Again.CJP Hooks Up. Again. - CJP hooks up with Kyle's friend, Consonant Boy, and Aneesa takes Feminem back, if only for a while. |
03.11.2002 03.12.2002 |
A |
Kim |
11-7 Recap |
Finally, Some Drama!Finally, Some Drama! - Aneesa hooks up with Feminem, which pisses off Fat Cow. And then some kids paint a mural, which is really boring. |
03.04.2002 03.10.2002 |
B |
Kim |
11-6 Recap |
If a Man You've Never Met Before Suddenly Gives You Flowers...If a Man You've Never Met Before Suddenly Gives You Flowers… - The roommates start their various jobs, but the real focus of the episode is supposed to be how Theo and Tonya react to Chris having a boyfriend spend the night and stuff. |
02.18.2002 02.23.2002 |
B- |
Kim |
11-5 Recap |
Fear of a Black PlanetFear of a Black Planet - Tonya gets upset when she feels threatened by Theo, but it's definitely not due to his race. Keri goes on a date. Theo acts like a dink in general. |
02.11.2002 02.14.2002 |
C+ |
Kim |
11-4 Recap |
Flirting With DisasterFlirting With Disaster - Keri and Kyle are in looove. But not really. Tonya goes home, and we finally get to see her boyfriend, Justin. |
02.04.2002 02.08.2002 |
C+ |
Kim |
11-3 Recap |
Kidney a BreakKidney a Break - Tonya gets dialysis like Gary Coleman. CJP disappoints her dad even more than she did last week. |
01.28.2002 01.30.2002 |
B+ |
Kim |
11-2 Recap |
She's With The BandShe's With The Band - Cara loves being single so much that she goes out with three different guys in a single week. Theo suddenly loves the gays, and now Tonya hates them. Kim can't keep them straight. No pun intended. |
01.21.2002 01.27.2002 |
B+ |
Kim |
11-1 Recap |
Meet the RoommatesMeet the Roommates - Seven strangers blah blah blah move to Chicago. You know the story. |
01.14.2002 01.17.2002 |
B+ |
Kim |
10-22 Recap |
The Real World Guide to Being the Perfect RoommateThe Real World Guide to Being the Perfect Roommate - A preview of the upcoming Chicago season, and a look back at all the previous ones. Except London. |
01.07.2002 01.11.2002 |
B- |
Kim |
10-21 Recap |
Cease and DesistCease and Desist - The roommates finally stop torturing us with their lack of antics or hijinks each week, as they finally leave the apartment and return home. |
12.03.2001 12.04.2001 |
F |
Kim |
10-20 Recap |
No More TurtlenecksNo More Turtlenecks - It's the Turtleneck Twins' last stand. The roommates need to convince a radio station to add a particular song to the play list in order to complete their work assignment for the season. Will they do it? Does the same company own MTV and the radio station? Why, yes! Do you think that's relevant? |
11.26.2001 11.27.2001 |
C- |
Kim |
10-19 Recap |
Hijinks in the HamptonsHijinks in the Hamptons - Jisela gets caught in a web of lies, and Nicole finally gets laid. Excuse us. "Makes sweet love." |
11.19.2001 11.20.2001 |
B |
Kim |
10-18 Recap |
Spice Up Your LifeSpice Up Your Life - Things get spicy when the Real World gang gets yet another vacation -- this time to the Hamptons -- and some of the former Road Rules gang comes along. |
11.12.2001 11.14.2001 |
B- |
Kim |
10-17 Recap |
Play OnPlay On - Malik gets played by Jisela. Rachel's mom gets played by Rachel. More and more Road Rules people start showing up. What's up with that? |
11.05.2001 11.06.2001 |
C+ |
Kim |
10-16 Recap |
No RespectNo Respect - Lori sings "Respect" and "Hold On" in her final concert with her college singing group. The roommates all attend. Also, Kevin acquires and dumps a model girlfriend. |
10.29.2001 10.30.2001 |
F |
Kim |
10-15 Recap |
Why Don't We Get Drunk And S#!$%?Why Don't We Get Drunk And S#!$%? - At least, that's the title of the song, according to Bunim-Murray. Nicole gets a visit from the man she loves, Bobby, who doesn't love her. Then she gets drunk and pukes all over the place. Also, Quarrel lightens up. |
10.22.2001 10.23.2001 |
B- |
Kim |
10-14 Recap |
On DisplayOn Display - The roommates split into two teams to make window displays in music stores, and Nicole is really bossy. But there's a happy ending. |
10.15.2001 10.16.2001 |
D+ |
Kim |
10-13 Recap |
Coma-InducingComa-Inducing - Kim can tell you everything that happens in this show in two sentences. The girls accuse the boys of brown-nosing the bosses at work. A doorman disses Lori. The end. |
10.08.2001 10.09.2001 |
F |
Kim |
10-12 Recap |
Puffy's Dead!Puffy's Dead! - No, not Sean John -- one of the fish in the fish tank. Plus, Mike has grown, and Malik meets his family. |
10.01.2001 10.08.2001 |
C- |
Kim |
10-11 Recap |
Working for a LivingWorking for a Living - An exploration of the roommates' job reveals that Coral and Nicole have stepped up and are totally showing up their other roommates. |
09.24.2001 09.25.2001 |
C+ |
Kim |
10-10 Recap |
The Grossest Episode EverThe Grossest Episode Ever - Mike gets laid. Rachel gets dumped. Kevin gets to go to the zoo. |
09.17.2001 09.19.2001 |
C |
Kim |
10-9 Recap |
Play It Again (And Again, And Again)Play It Again (And Again, And Again) - The roommates take a vacation to Morocco, where Rachel makes a love connection with Blair from Road Rules. |
09.03.2001 09.04.2001 |
C- |
Kim |
10-8 Recap |
Who's the Outkast Now?Who's the Outkast Now? - Nicole and Quarrel team up to form The Bullies, and proceed to piss off every single one of their roommates. |
08.20.2001 08.21.2001 |
B- |
Kim |
10-7 Recap |
Soft FocusSoft Focus - Lori sings so loudly that her roommates' ears fall off and they die. |
08.13.2001 08.14.2001 |
C- |
Kim |
10-6 Recap |
Screaming and YellingScreaming and Yelling - Nicole's preferred method of communication turns out to be screaming and yelling, and she does plenty of both in this episode. |
08.06.2001 08.07.2001 |
C |
Kim |
10-5 Recap |
Major Label DebutMajor Label Debut - The roommates find out that they will be working at a record label. Mike is psyched, because he has found new people to listen to his lame jokes. |
07.30.2001 07.31.2001 |
C- |
Kim |
10-4 Recap |
Valenwhine's DayValenwhine's Day - Quarrel and Mike fight over the term "panty-droppers." Yeah, it's about as exciting as it sounds. Mike is sad and lonely. |
07.23.2001 07.29.2001 |
F |
Kim |
10-3 Recap |
Breakin' The LawBreakin' The Law - Rachel gets a fake ID so that she can play with the big kids. Kevin delivers a crushing blow to Lori's pride. |
07.16.2001 07.17.2001 |
B |
Kim |
10-2 Recap |
QuarrelsomeQuarrelsome - Mike learns something about black history, no thanks to Quarrel. Nicole goes out on a date with a guy who voted for George W. Bush. |
07.09.2001 07.10.2001 |
C- |
Kim |
10-1 Recap |
The Bronx Is Up, and the Battery's DownThe Bronx Is Up, and the Battery's Down - Mike figures out why his uncle has so many white bedsheets in his house, and Lori tries and tries to get Kevin into her bed. |
07.02.2001 07.04.2001 |
B |
Kim |
9-24 Recap |
The Real World Tenth Anniversary SpecialThe Real World Tenth Anniversary Special - After nine seasons, it's time to look back at the show we love to hate and ask, "Jo who?" |
06.24.2001 06.24.2001 |
C |
Kim |
9-23 Recap |
Lights, Camera, Action!Kim's Big Adventure - Kim gets interviewed by Bunim-Murray for an upcoming special. And she lived to tell that tale! |
01.16.2001 01.16.2001 |
D |
Kim |
9-22 Recap |
The Real World New Orleans Reunion SpecialThe Real World New Orleans Reunion Special - Nathan from Seattle and Rachel from San Francisco try to convince us that we are watching a live reunion. We all know that it's taped. Thus begins my agony. |
11.15.2000 11.15.2000 |
D |
Kim |
6-17 Recap |
BummerBummer - The Southern Fried Rock of We Get it You're in Texas rages on the soundtrack as The Bumpkins sing, "So when I'm lonely and feeling down/I run back like a child to my little town, now/You can take me out of Texas, baby/But you ain't gonna take the Texas out of me." Original. |
06.16.1997 11.12.2000 |
C- |
Djb |
9-21 Recap |
Do You Know What It Means to Miss New Orleans?Do You Know What It Means to Miss New Orleans? - Finally! It's over! Oh wait. |
11.06.2000 11.06.2000 |
D |
Kim |
9-21 Extra |
The New Orleans Melissa Interview, Part IIIThe New Orleans Melissa Interview, Part III - The final segment of the interview begins with Melissa and I discussing other seasons of Real World, who she has met, and what they told her about life after the show. |
10.31.2000 10.31.2000 |
N/A |
Kim |
9-20 Recap |
Julie's Stupid LetterJulie's Stupid Letter - Later in this episode, the roommates will confront David, and we are all very excited to see that. I hope it's the opening scene! |
10.30.2000 10.30.2000 |
D |
Kim |
9-20 Extra |
The New Orleans Melissa Interview, Part IIThe New Orleans Melissa Interview, Part II - The interview with Melissa Howard from Real World: New Orleans continues, with some discussion of how people in Melissa's life were affected by her presence on the show, and lots more juicy behind-the-scenes gossip. |
10.25.2000 10.25.2000 |
N/A |
Kim |
9-19 Recap |
If I Strip For You, Will You Strip For Me?If I Strip For You, Will You Strip For Me? - Matt thinks there's "a weirdness" between him and Julie, and Julie agrees. Matt thinks his webpage is "on fire" and girls like to "sign his guestbook." Oh, this is going to be so sad. |
10.23.2000 10.23.2000 |
D |
Kim |
9-19 Extra |
The New Orleans Melissa Interview, Part IThe New Orleans Melissa Interview, Part I - One of the breakout roommates on this year's edition of Real World has to be Melissa Howard. Whether you love her sense of humor, or are annoyed by her stated desire to be in the spotlight, she captured your attention. I wish I had some exciting story about how I searched high and low to find Melissa, but the truth is that she came to us. |
10.18.2000 10.18.2000 |
N/A |
Kim |
9-18 Recap |
Higher Level of My AssHigher Level of My Ass - Jamie gets into a car and says that going to strip clubs on the Sabbath is not good. Then they put it in slow motion as he pulls away, and play sad music, so that you think that Jamie is really unhappy about his wild lifestyle. In an interview, Jamie says that he just wanted to get home and away from the whole thing. |
10.16.2000 10.16.2000 |
D |
Kim |
9-17 Recap |
More Mormon MadnessMore Mormon Madness - Julie says that Matt is nice to her on Mondays, "and then he's an asshole." Her little brothers and sisters giggle because Julie said a bad word. Mr. Mormon interrupts her and asks if she said "a profanity." Yeah, and then she shotgunned a can of Mountain Dew! She's crazy! And you can't stop her! |
10.09.2000 10.09.2000 |
D |
Kim |
9-16 Recap |
Mr. Mormon ArrivesMr. Mormon Arrives - Julie is on the phone with her mom, discussing her family's upcoming visit to New Orleans. Her mom suggests that she talk to her brother, Alan. He gets on the phone, and Julie tells him that she can't have her family there for a whole week because it's too long. |
10.02.2000 10.02.2000 |
D |
Kim |
9-15 Recap |
Girl FightGirl Fight - In an interview, Danny says that they all decided to have a "girl boxing match." We see some chicks slugging each other with lots of blurred-out faces in the background. I'm guessing the blurry ones are the underage ones. In an interview, Julie says that some girl asked her if she wants to learn to box, and Julie said, "Why not?" Um, because you could get your ass kicked? |
09.18.2000 09.18.2000 |
D |
Kim |
9-14 Recap |
Elton Rules!Elton Rules! - Julie asks Danny when his parents are coming, and Danny says tomorrow. Danny says that Paul is coming on Thursday, and his parents have never met Paul. Of course, we don't know what day "today" is, so all of this is pretty meaningless. |
09.11.2000 09.11.2000 |
D |
Kim |
9-13 Recap |
A Matter of TrustA Matter of Trust - So the show starts out with the roommates participating in a drum circle in South Africa. Well, all except Jamie, who was given an exemption due to his lack of rhythm, as exhibited when he was doing the Electric Slide during Mardi Gras. |
09.04.2000 09.04.2000 |
D |
Kim |
9-12 Recap |
Bizarro South AfricaBizarro South Africa - Kelley applies makeup, and says that she can't believe they are going to Africa in a day or two. Melissa doesn't give a damn. Julie pretends she didn't hear her and says that she wants to see elephants and giraffes, and then throws Melissa a bone by asking if she wants to see those things. Melissa says they have Busch Gardens in Tampa, so she's "already seen all that mess." |
08.28.2000 08.28.2000 |
N/A |
Kim |
9-11 Recap |
Fat TuesdayFat Tuesday - In an interview, Julie says that this is her first Mardi Gras, and she's "totally virgin to the whole Mardi Gras experience, among other things." Hey, Julie's a virgin? I didn't know that! |
08.21.2000 08.21.2000 |
D |
Kim |
9-10 Recap |
Analyze ThisAnalyze This - In the confessional, longhaired Melissa is saying that she loves her father and he's all she wants, and she loves the good and the bad. Audition Melissa (can you keep all these Melissas straight?) is saying that she doesn't know how her parents stay together because their whole relationship is based on her dad making fun of her mom, and then her mom laughing it off or sometimes crying. Whew! What's that smell? Oh, it's Melissa's family's dirty laundry. Apparently, she's airing it out in public. |
08.14.2000 08.14.2000 |
D |
Kim |
9-9 Recap |
The Home Of The BraveThe Home Of The Brave - In a confessional, David says that they have a show on Saturday, and he knows that nobody is going to work as hard as he is. Nor should they, in my opinion, since he's the producer, so he should be the one working the hardest and the longest. Plus, he has some catching up to do in the "time spent working" category. |
08.07.2000 08.07.2000 |
D |
Kim |
9-8 Recap |
Racism Is BadRacism Is Bad - Before the episode starts, the screen goes black, and we see the following message: "Tonight's Real World deals with the complex issue of race relations in a frank manner. After the show, join us for an online chat. www.mtv.com." I think Melissa was the announcer, but I'm not sure. So, I'm expecting there to be big fireworks, and lots of heated conversations on tonight's episode, right? Or was that just a plug for MTV's website? |
07.31.2000 07.31.2000 |
D |
Kim |
9-7 Recap |
The Bad Rap VideoThe Bad Rap Video - At NOA-TV, Kelley is being filmed saying that she most admires her parents for their perseverance. In an interview, Matt explains that they are each going to answer five questions that will reveal their personalities. |
07.24.2000 07.24.2000 |
D |
Kim |
9-6 Recap |
Melissa is My Unfunny ValentineMelissa is My Unfunny Valentine - In an interview, Danny says there is "a battle between putting his time and effort into Paul" or meeting new people in New Orleans. Well, he's allowed to meet new people. He just can't kiss them and stuff. |
07.17.2000 07.17.2000 |
D |
Kim |
9-5 Recap |
Time Out!Time Out! - Melissa is on the phone with Ryan, who tells her that he is serious "like a heart attack" about coming to visit her this weekend. In an interview, Melissa says she dated Ryan for a month and a half. Back on the phone, Melissa informs Ryan he will be there for her birthday. |
07.10.2000 07.10.2000 |
D |
Kim |
9-4 Recap |
Jamie is King ChoadJamie is King Choad - Back with Melissa, Jamie tells her he doesn't have time for a commitment. Not enough hours in the day for poor old busy Jamie. That and the fact that he can't relate to women as anything other than sperm receptacles. |
07.03.2000 07.03.2000 |
D |
Ace |
9-3 Recap |
Eight Million Interviews with MelissaEight Million Interviews with Melissa - Melissa tells Julie she's going to meet a man today because "something's not right" and she's sick of it. |
06.26.2000 06.26.2000 |
D |
Kim |
9-2 Recap |
The Battle of New OrleansThe Battle of New Orleans - Melissa said she thinks David's muscles are too big. David said "she" (Melissa?) knows he loves women and is a "playa person." I am officially tired of the word "playa." So, from those humble beginnings, we can discern that this episode will be about Melissa and David. |
06.19.2000 06.19.2000 |
D |
Kim |
9-1 Recap |
It Ain't Easy, But It Sure Is BigIt Ain't Easy, But It Sure Is Big - Welcome everyone, to the new season of the Real World. Have you heard? It's in New Orleans. I wasn't sure if you caught that, given the nine million promos MTV has been running for it. |
06.12.2000 06.12.2000 |
D |
Kim |
8-25 Recap |
Real World / Road Rules Casting SpecialReal World / Road Rules Casting Special - It's time once again to find out what lucky losers will be the recipients of constant scrutiny and the butt of our jokes this season on Real World and Road Rules. |
06.07.2000 06.07.2000 |
D |
Kim |
8-24 Recap |
M.Y.O.B.: Bad SeedM.Y.O.B.: Bad Seed - You know how every season, at least a couple of the people on Real World are only there because they are hoping to launch a career as a singer, actor or other entertainer? Well, of the roommates from Hawaii, it turns out that Colin was the one. Who knew? |
06.06.2000 06.06.2000 |
D |
Kim |
8-23 Recap |
Real World Reunion 2000Real World Reunion 2000 - You know the rules: names once, and lots of hitting below the belt |
05.23.2000 05.23.2000 |
D |
Kim |
8-22 Recap |
Real World ReunionReal World Reunion - Is it everything we hope it'll be? |
05.09.2000 05.09.2000 |
D |
Kim |
8-21 Recap |
Good RiddanceGood Riddance - In this episode, we only have an hour before they will all leave. |
11.08.1999 11.08.1999 |
D |
Kim |
8-20 Recap |
Let's All Gang Up On Annoying!Let's All Gang Up On Annoying! - In a confessional, Colin says that his advice to Tony regarding Annoying was, "Yeah" (as he makes a big thumbs-up sign and then turns it upside down) "Not really! She is a big negative. Don't do it." |
11.01.1999 11.01.1999 |
D |
Kim |
8-19 Recap |
Mommy, What's An STD?Mommy, What's An STD? - So this episode will be about Colin and Ruthie's friendship, and Annoying's attempts to move on. |
10.25.1999 10.25.1999 |
D |
Kim |
8-18 Recap |
See, They're Good People. They Do Charity Work.See, They're Good People. They Do Charity Work. - Colin and Ruthie are making T-shirts for a charity boat cruise/silent auction sponsored by Local Motion. The money will go to a Women and Children's Medical Center and Big Brothers/Big Sisters. |
10.18.1999 10.18.1999 |
D |
Kim |
8-17 Recap |
Ruthie Got GameRuthie Got Game - Wonder Bread and Teck are in the van, and Wonder Bread is saying that he wants to make Ruthie's return as comfortable as possible. He tells Teck that Annoying is nervous about Ruthie coming home. |
10.11.1999 10.11.1999 |
D |
Kim |
8-16 Recap |
Amaya's Last StandAmaya's Last Stand - Colin says that now that Justin's gone, he can move into the bottom bunk. Annoying, who is sitting next to him and totally eavesdropping on his phone conversation, says that she is going to move into his bedroom. Colin says she's not. She says she is. Repeat ad nauseum. |
10.04.1999 10.04.1999 |
D |
Kim |
8-15 Recap |
So Long, Farewell...So Long, Farewell… - Annoying and Colin are having their "chat" out on the wall. Annoying says she doesn't understand where Colin got his attitude during their trip. Colin suddenly figures out what happened, and tells her that Justin and Tet Girl told him that Annoying is too dependent on him. |
09.27.1999 09.27.1999 |
D |
Kim |
8-14 Recap |
IndiaIndia - The gang (minus Ruthie) is going to India and that Justin is going to be vindictive and happy about it. |
09.13.1999 09.13.1999 |
D |
Kim |
8-13 Recap |
Random BitsRandom Bits - So, this week is going to be a confusing mishmash of storylines, designed to fill space until they can rev up the India trip. |
09.06.1999 09.06.1999 |
D |
Kim |
8-12 Recap |
Ruthie Is a BabyRuthie Is a Baby - Ruthie speaks at the house meeting. In attendance are all of the cast members, Ruthie's two sisters (Rachel and Sara) and Ruthie's friends visiting from Rutgers. Ruthie says, "I want to get straight," and I think she means sober so I'm like, "Wow, I can't believe she said that. What are they going to do with the rest of this episode?" |
08.30.1999 08.30.1999 |
D |
Kim |
8-11 Recap |
Matt Is a Dick, Part IMatt Is a Dick, Part I - Previously on The Real World, Ruthie drinks and falls over, Ruthie goes to the hospital, Ruthie drinks and drives, Ruthie gets an ultimatum from the producers. So this week's episode is about Ruthie drinking some more. |
08.23.1999 08.23.1999 |
D |
Kim |
8-10 Recap |
Most Boring EpisodeMost Boring Episode - So, we know that this week's episode is going to be about Kaia's quest for love. Hey, I thought it was going to be about their vacation? What the...? |
08.16.1999 08.16.1999 |
D |
Kim |
8-9 Recap |
I Hate MattI Hate Matt - Previously on The Real World, Annoying and Colin bantered in the kitchen, kissed on the dance floor and bickered in the van. Then Wonder Bread said, "Colin rips on Amaya throughout the day, and at night he's a Romeo, sweet and sensitive." So apparently, this week's episode is the Colin and Annoying clip show, with commentary by Wonder Bread the Nosey Parker. |
08.09.1999 08.09.1999 |
D |
Kim |
8-8 Recap |
My Name Is Bill W.My Name Is Bill W. - So, this week's episode is going to be about Ruthie's drinking problem. Whee! |
08.02.1999 08.02.1999 |
D |
Kim |
8-7 Recap |
Finally, It's Justin's TurnFinally, It's Justin's Turn - Previously on The Real World, Justin arrived at the house only to have Teck (who was swimming naked in the pool) scream out, "Are you gay? Are you gay?" This made Tetanus Girl feel sorry for Justin. So, this episode it going to be all about Justin. |
07.26.1999 07.26.1999 |
D |
Kim |
8-6 Recap |
Relationships Are a BitchRelationships Are a Bitch - So, this episode is going to be about relationships: Teck's relationships with various women, and Annoying's relationship with Colin. |
07.19.1999 07.19.1999 |
D |
Kim |
8-5 Recap |
Guess What? Ruthie Has a Problem.Guess What? Ruthie Has a Problem. - These people really need to take my seventh grade health class, in which we learned that alcohol causes people to lower their inhibitions, meaning that they do things drunk that they are normally too shy or embarrassed to do while sober. Anyway, in case you didn't twig to the fact that Ruthie is wild when she drinks, just wait. |
07.12.1999 07.12.1999 |
D |
Kim |
8-4 Recap |
The Good and Bad Sides of My BrainThe Good and Bad Sides of My Brain - So tonight's episode is obviously about Tet Girl's issues with her father, and about the relationship developing between Colin and Annoying. On with the show. |
07.05.1999 07.05.1999 |
D |
Kim |
8-3 Recap |
Girl on Girl ActionGirl on Girl Action - Tet Girl (I get sick of typing Tetanus Girl over and over again) says, "I really like Ruthie...I like her energy. I think she's very sweet." This statement can be interpreted as, "I would like to jump Ruthie's bones because she's a hottie and I'm drunk and lonely." |
06.28.1999 06.28.1999 |
D |
Kim |
8-2 Recap |
Teck is the CheeseTeck is the Cheese - Teck continues to yell for no apparent reason, saying "I don't like men!" Um, Teck, usually when people protest THAT much, they have some major issues with their own sexuality. People who are secure in their own sexuality don't need to go around yelling, "I don't like men! I'm John Wayne!" |
06.21.1999 06.21.1999 |
D |
Kim |
8-1 Recap |
Ruthie's DeadRuthie's Dead - Cue the opening credits. I think the goal of this show is to teach people the proper way to pronounce Hawaii. It's Ha Wa EE, not Ha Why EE. But if you say it like that on the mainland, it sounds pretentious. |
06.14.1999 06.14.1999 |
D |
Kim |
7-19 Recap |
This is the EndThis Is the End - In the final show of the season, Stephen almost gets in a fight and Kim almost cares. |
07.18.1998 07.22.1998 |
F |
Kim |
7-18 Recap |
Rebecca Got BackRebecca Got Back - Rebecca teams up with Sir Mix-A-Lot to record a song. Nathan cheats on Stephanie, and then she comes to visit. |
07.17.1998 07.21.1998 |
F |
Kim |
7-17 Recap |
Death and DiseaseDeath and Disease - Between the suicide, the cancer, and the 911 calls, this episode is just a barrel of laughs. Get ready to giggle! |
07.16.1998 07.20.1998 |
C+ |
Kim |
7-16 Recap |
Decisions, DecisionsDecisions, Decisions - In the aftermath of "The Slap," the roommates have to decide whether they are comfortable having Stephen in the house for the remainder of the season. |
07.15.1998 07.19.1998 |
C |
Kim |
7-15 Recap |
Goodnight, IreneGoodnight, Irene - Irene goes to a relaxation therapist and decides that she needs to leave the house. And that's only the beginning of the drama. |
07.14.1998 07.18.1998 |
A+ |
Kim |
7-14 Recap |
She So CrazyShe So Crazy - Stephen slacks off. Janet and Lindsay are beeyotches. Irene reveals her illness, but not before the editors make her look as crazy as they possibly can. |
07.13.1998 07.17.1998 |
F |
Kim |
7-13 Recap |
Stephen and David Learn LessonsStephen and David Learn Lessons - David gets in a fight, has his honor questioned, and rededicates himself to his radio station job. For this episode, anyway. Stephen's mom has a baby. |
07.12.1998 07.16.1998 |
C- |
Kim |
7-12 Recap |
The Melancholy Tale of Fish BoyThe Melancholy Tale of Fish Boy - Rebecca says that Phil wants her to "make sure things are getting done" and make sure the boys are "on top of things." Stephen and Nathan are incredulous, because they don't think that's what Rebecca's job is. So what is her job? |
07.11.1998 07.11.1998 |
D |
Kim |
7-11 Recap |
On the RadioOn the Radio - We see various DJs doing their thing in the booth while Irene, Lindsay, and Rebecca look on. Suddenly, the roommates are at a meeting with Phil (the program director), who asks them who wants to be on-air talent. They all raise their hands (except David and Janet). |
07.10.1998 07.10.1998 |
D |
Kim |
7-10 Recap |
K-K-K-KathmanduK-K-K-Kathmandu - We open with a shot of what look like prayer flags hanging from a clothesline, as the onscreen text tells us the setting is "Nagarkot Ridge, Nepal." So we're still in Nepal, huh? |
07.09.1998 07.09.1998 |
D |
Kim |
7-9 Recap |
I Love My Dead DadI Love My Dead Dad - They all (except David) have a meeting with Phil, the head honcho. He tells them that he got a call from REI, and some of them need to go and meet with them because they are interested in doing advertising with the station. So now they are ad reps in addition to modulators? Whatever, like we don't know it's all a big ruse to introduce the big vacation of the season. |
07.08.1998 07.08.1998 |
D |
Kim |
7-8 Recap |
Kira, Cara, Carol, WhateverKira, Cara, Carol, Whatever - In a confessional, Irene says that when she found out David was dating Kira, it made her want to know David more because she really trusts and values Kira. In an interview, Nathan says that he's in awe and can't believe that someone would give up her job and friends for David. I know he meant that in a nice way, but it sounded like he was saying he can't believe anyone would do that for stinky old David. |
07.07.1998 07.07.1998 |
D |
Kim |
7-7 Recap |
Truly, Madly, DramaticallyTruly, Madly, Dramatically - Janet tells Irene some of the things they are thinking of doing for Irene's birthday. Irene says she doesn't want to hear about it ahead of time, but then mock-whispers, "Male stripper!" I hope that was a joke, because ew. |
07.06.1998 07.06.1998 |
D |
Kim |
7-6 Recap |
We'll Have a Gay Old Time!We'll Have a Gay Old Time! - Janet tells Lindsay that everyone in the club thinks they are lesbians. The horror! You mean if you go to a gay club, people might think you are gay? David shakes his groove thang with a transvestite. |
07.05.1998 07.05.1998 |
D |
Kim |
7-5 Recap |
My Unfunny ValentineMy Unfunny Valentine - Nathan is carrying a HUGE Betty Boop card for Stephanie. Nothing says "I love you" like a 1920s cartoon character, apparently. Nathan signs the card, "I love you!!" because nothing says "I love you" like two exclamation points, apparently. Nathan voice-overs that he is trying to get everything together for Valentine's Day and do something special for Stephanie. |
07.04.1998 07.04.1998 |
D |
Kim |
7-4 Recap |
Good Night, IreneGood Night, Irene - Rebecca keeps reading the horoscope aloud, saying that Irene should "lust globally and make love locally." |
07.03.1998 07.03.1998 |
D |
Kim |
7-3 Recap |
Kiss The Rain!Kiss The Rain! - Advancing my "Irene as outsider" theory even more, the first time we get a "storyline" that focuses on Irene, she's going somewhere alone, and talking about how stressed-out and uncomfortable she is. |
07.02.1998 07.02.1998 |
D |
Kim |
7-2 Recap |
Nathan's Sensual DancingNathan's Sensual Dancing - In an interview, David says that Stephanie is all Nathan has, and she knows it, and she "uses it as a trump card and treats him like jack." Apparently, David is a relationship expert. He goes on to say that Stephanie is acting like a "spoiled little brat right now." |
07.01.1998 07.01.1998 |
D |
Kim |
7-1 Recap |
A Long Walk Off a Short PierA Long Walk Off a Short Pier - We get a shot of downtown Seattle. At least I think that's Seattle. Oh, there's the Space Needle. Okay, it's definitely Seattle. Oh look, they wrote "Seattle" at the bottom of the screen in case I wasn't sure. How nice. |
06.30.1998 06.30.1998 |
D |
Kim |
6-23 Recap |
Go AwayDon't Forget to Right - They fought. And fought. And fought and fought and fought. Fought fought fought. Fought fought fought. Hell, Djb just wrote that word so many times, it's lost all meaning. Just like life. Sniff. Without the Boston cast, nothing will ever be the same. |
06.23.1997 06.27.1997 |
A+ |
Djb |
6-22 Recap |
Suck à l'OrangeThe Play's the Thing - Kameelah paints a room a blinding shade of orange. Elka puts on a play about herself. Montana gets sassy at the salon. We mistakenly believe that these people are nice. |
06.21.1997 06.25.1997 |
D+ |
Djb |
6-21 Recap |
Summer Bummin'Did Somebody Say "Gay Head"? - Had me no blast. Did not happen so fast. Jason met a girl, crazy for him. Nothing came of it. Snooze. But you knew that already, didn't you? |
06.20.1997 06.24.1997 |
C |
Djb |
6-20 Recap |
Payback's A Bitch, And So Is...Well, No OneOn A Roll…A Log Roll - Dude. Even Syrus, Montana's formidable opponent, can't make good on some good ol' venom-spewing, as Montana's unemployment becomes the stuff of practical jokery and a resigned we're-almost-out-of-here shrug. People? I still have to recap this crap. |
06.19.1997 06.23.1997 |
D+ |
Djb |
6-19 Recap |
Stop and Smell DeflowerWining And Whining - While Sean and Syrus stray and Montana samples the sauvignon, Elka and Walter get ambiguously kinky with paraphernalia ranging from socks to pears to miles and miles of videotape. |
06.18.1997 06.22.1997 |
B- |
Djb |
6-18 Recap |
Cheese Steak, Hold The SteakRiding Virgin Air - It's all set-up and no punchline as a few of the members of the house take off for Philadelphia to attend a really important conference on really important things. Really. |
06.17.1997 06.21.1997 |
C+ |
Djb |
6-16 Recap |
Hey Look, More SnowHey Look, More Snow - This is boring for people who dig The Yule Log boring. This is boring for people who can't watch TV on a Saturday afternoon because the heart stopping spectacle of golf isn't good for their blood pressure boring. |
06.15.1997 06.15.1997 |
D+ |
Djb |
6-15 Recap |
I Will Be Your Preacher, TeacherI Will Be Your Preacher, Teacher - Elka continues from room to architecturally confusing room, cleaning like a madwoman and clearly bearing in mind that essential first commandment of Captain Catholicism's Holy House Visiting Dictum, "Thou Shalt Not Leave Dainty Pier One Throw Pillows on God's Holy Product-Placed Rugs." |
06.14.1997 06.14.1997 |
C |
Djb |
6-14 Recap |
The Frazzled State Of MontanaThe Frazzled State Of Montana - Whore! |
06.13.1997 06.13.1997 |
B- |
Djb |
6-13 Recap |
La Misma Mierda, Menos NieveLa Misma Mierda, Menos Nieve - Elka admits as such to Montana: "I guess I just had my mind set on going overseas." Yeah, because it sure would be a shame to be trapped on that landlocked, continental mass called "a tiny island in the middle of a significantly larger ocean" on their one free weekend out of Tundra Central. |
06.12.1997 06.12.1997 |
C+ |
Djb |
6-12 Recap |
The Obligatory Elka Plot LineThe Obligatory Elka Plot Line - Elka hopes that Walter will come visit her in America, but her sincere sentiment is drowned out by the deafening roar of this episode's viewing audience raising its one collective eyebrow and quietly muttering, "Yeah, that'll happen." |
06.11.1997 06.11.1997 |
C |
Djb |
6-11 Recap |
Beware: Lingering Shots Of Naked, Bumpy SeanBeware: Lingering Shots Of Naked, Bumpy Sean - Gen, I can't believe you didn't go with the flow of your roommates' plans and stay home to rub aloe on Sean's oozing sores tonight. Three words describe your participation in that house: selfish, selfish, selfish. |
06.10.1997 06.10.1997 |
D+ |
Djb |
6-10 Recap |
This Is So GayThis Is So Gay - The Bible says that God hates gay people. Duh. Everyone knows that. Ask Elka. |
06.09.1997 06.09.1997 |
C- |
Djb |
6-9 Recap |
The Mother LoadThe Mother Load - A bevy of unsupervised schoolchildren detonate firecrackers and engage in rampant recreational drug use (why? Because no one is watching them, is why) while the five remaining members of the house run around and talk about themselves. |
06.08.1997 06.08.1997 |
C- |
Djb |
6-8 Recap |
Montana Gets A New MattitudeMontana Gets A New Mattitude - I'm sorry, was that just the sound of Montana commenting negatively on SOMEONE ELSE'S HAIR? Pot, meet kettle. Kettle, meet guy who's only at this party in the first place so he can be on television. |
06.07.1997 06.07.1997 |
C- |
Djb |
6-7 Recap |
Jason's Relationship Goes TimberJason's Relationship Goes Timber - Jason takes this opportunity to rudely non-sequitur, "I can't believe you're a virgin." Shut up, Jason. I can't believe you're not. |
06.06.1997 06.06.1997 |
D+ |
Djb |
6-6 Recap |
Montana Is Big Sly CountryMontana Is Big Sly Country - Montana tells Kameelah, Elka, and Sean that "a large part of relationships for me is the actual physicality of the person. Like how they smell." HOW THEY SMELL? Oops! Here comes my lunch! And there it goes. Vaj's smell. Romantic to Montana, Ipecac to the remainder of the planet. |
06.05.1997 06.05.1997 |
D |
Djb |
6-5 Recap |
www.please-get-a-life.comwww.please-get-a-life.com - Oh, how I have tried not to hate them all. How resolutely I have failed. How my anger and resentment concerning all things in life has grown and grown as a result. Wow. Looks like Boston's not the only bitter thing around here after all. |
06.04.1997 06.04.1997 |
D+ |
Djb |
6-4 Recap |
Lost In BostonLost In Boston - We learn from Sean's and Jason's confessionals that "the whole house is working together at an after-school program for kids," and that they will be doing so "Monday through Thursday, 1:30 to 6:00." Children? They're having them work with CHILDREN? |
06.03.1997 06.03.1997 |
D+ |
Djb |
6-3 Recap |
Race Matters (and sexuality is good for a gag or two)Race Matters (and sexuality is good for a gag or two) - Remind me again why The Real World chose never to chance a cold-weather climate ever, ever again after this season wrapped. It is, after all, so sexy and electrifying to watch seven twentysomethings in bulky college sweatshirts sitting around inside eating high-cholesterol comfort foods for five straight months. |
06.02.1997 06.02.1997 |
C+ |
Djb |
6-2 Recap |
God Dammit!God Dammit! - Multiple packs into what seems to be the waning hours of an all-night nicotine binge, the smoke from their cigarettes becomes so dense it actually begins to seep through my television's speakers and form a thick, choking cloud inside of my own room, obscuring my view of the screen and ironically causing me to miss the first four billion commercials for thetruth.com, which for some reason sees fit to advertise during this carcinogenic marathon. |
06.01.1997 06.01.1997 |
C+ |
Djb |
6-1 Recap |
The Genesis Of ConflictThe Genesis Of Conflict - The "seven strangers" intro ends with the words The Real World shown floating in a bowl of clam chowder perched atop a regal statue of Paul Revere set against a backdrop of the snowy, snowy banks of the Charles River. The privilege of announcing that this is The Real World: Boston has been delegated to Syrus, due to his impassioned and ultimately convincing argument that "a woman's place is in the kitchen, not in the opening credits" he so doubtlessly broached during the arduous audition process. |
05.31.1997 05.31.1997 |
B- |
Djb |
5-21 Recap |
We Get It. Now Go.The Packing Episode - Is this the packing episode, you may wonder? Yes. Yes, it is. The Miami kids go home. But not without a lot of packing first! Plus, Leroy the dog gets a boner. |
05.20.1996 05.24.1996 |
C+ |
Alex Richmond |
5-20 Recap |
Flora Makes It Her BusinessFlora Makes It Her Business - Who's the bossiest of all? Who thinks she can railroad everyone else into doing whatever she wants to do? Who is the biggest lame-o on The Real World Miami? Her name is Flora. Hate her all over again. |
05.19.1996 05.23.1996 |
B- |
Alex Richmond |
5-19 Recap |
Poo IslandPoo Island - Quick, what's "hella nasty"? Is it Flora's syphilitic toe, Mike's threesome, or Joe pinching a loaf off a deserted Bahamian island? |
05.18.1996 05.22.1996 |
C+ |
Alex Richmond |
5-18 Recap |
Indecent-wecent Proposal-wosalIndecent-wecent Proposal-wosal - Who takes carriage rides anymore? Monsters and their boyfriends, that's who. Who pops questions? Tiny lotharios. Who's gonna get it? Drama Queen Dan, and he'd better get ready to defend himself. And who's the biggest bitch in Real World history, giving Russians a bad name? Flora, thy name is Bitchovsky. |
05.17.1996 05.21.1996 |
C |
Alex Richmond |
5-17 Recap |
Home, It's Where I Want to BeHome, It's Where I Want to Be - Both Cynthia and Dan are homeward bound in this week's episode. It's sweet. Not threesome sweet, but then, what is, besides threesomes? I know: Johnny, Dan's second on-camera boyfriend! Yay, Johnny! |
05.16.1996 05.16.1996 |
D |
Alex Richmond |
5-16 Recap |
Threesome!Threesome! - Flora says she likes sex. Mike says he likes sex "all the way around." Hee. Joe says he likes sex, "openness," and "nakedness." Eww. |
05.15.1996 05.15.1996 |
D |
Alex Richmond |
5-15 Recap |
Kissing Professor Stoner's AssKissing Professor Stoner's Ass - Joe chomps on gum, slumps, and rolls his eyes during the harangue: "I need to be in a position to pass you in this class." Hee hee, "position." Maybe, bend over? Sorry. |
05.14.1996 05.14.1996 |
D |
Alex Richmond |
5-14 Recap |
Joe Quits the Business! Life Goes On As Usual.Joe Quits the Business! Life Goes On As Usual. - Oh my sweet god, I can't believe this isn't the threesome episode. |
05.13.1996 05.13.1996 |
D |
Alex Richmond |
5-13 Recap |
Meet Old HeatherMeet Old Heather - Mike's on the phone with Old Heather. Even though we haven't seen her yet, we all know the woman is old. Not just older than Mike -- she's OLD. She's soccer-mom old. She's musty-old-book old. Dirt? The hills? Sliced bread? All not as old as Old Heather. |
05.12.1996 05.12.1996 |
D |
Alex Richmond |
5-12 Recap |
Don't Ever Call Melissa a Bitch! EVER!Don't Ever Call Melissa a Bitch! EVER! - Melissa dares to suggest that Sarah's friends look slobby or something, and Sarah's friends totally burn Melissa by picking up the check with their American Express card, and Melissa has to eat her snooty words. |
05.11.1996 05.11.1996 |
D |
Alex Richmond |
5-11 Recap |
Flora Has No ClassFlora Has No Class - Sarah says, "Just because I'm using tools, and a hammer, and my BRAIN doesn't mean I have to ask permission." Rebel ramp builder! She kisses no one's ass. |
05.10.1996 05.10.1996 |
D |
Alex Richmond |
5-10 Recap |
You Make It So HARD, Nic! Part TwoYou Make It So HARD, Nic! Part Two - Oh, I need someone to be my buddy and guide me now. God? Are you there? It's me...Alex. |
05.09.1996 05.09.1996 |
D |
Alex Richmond |
5-9 Recap |
You Make It So HARD, Nic!You Make It So HARD, Nic! - Joe reveals the real reason he's at the airport: to pick up Ick. Oh, joy. |
05.08.1996 05.08.1996 |
D |
Alex Richmond |
5-8 Recap |
Flora's Got the Syphilis in Her ToeFlora's Got the Syphilis in Her Toe - Flora gets in her hooker-mobile...I mean, "her Jeep." It won't start. She screams. |
05.07.1996 05.07.1996 |
D |
Alex Richmond |
5-7 Recap |
Sarah and Her Superpowers Rule!Sarah and Her Superpowers Rule! - Joe comes up and says, "Even if we fail, you still were part of running the business." Running it where? Into the ground before it even started? |
05.06.1996 05.06.1996 |
D |
Alex Richmond |
5-6 Recap |
We Come to Dump Cesar, Not to Praise HimWe Come to Dump Cesar, Not to Praise Him - Melissa and Cesar snuggle at dinner, and she puts her head on his shoulder as he drives, and we learn that they've been dating for four months. She fell for him when he held out his hand for her to help her out of the car. Hooray for chivalry. Isn't snuggly love and dating incredibly boring for people not in it? I thought so. |
05.05.1996 05.05.1996 |
D |
Alex Richmond |
5-5 Recap |
A Two-Timer PrimerA Two-Timer Primer - Flora explains that she and Mitchell are in love and they "try to out-bitch each other; it's fun." Sounds like fun! Not. |
05.04.1996 05.04.1996 |
D |
Alex Richmond |
5-4 Recap |
Shut UP, Dan!Shut UP, Dan! - Why does Dan get an enormous grin on his face at doing some kind of promotional activity? Because it has to do with modeling agencies, that's why. Glamour. He wants to sparkle. |
05.03.1996 05.03.1996 |
D |
Alex Richmond |
5-3 Recap |
Joe! Get Off the Phone!Joe! Get Off the Phone! - So. Joe has a disgusting phone conversation with Nic. |
05.02.1996 05.02.1996 |
D |
Alex Richmond |
5-2 Recap |
Working Hard, or Hardly...oh, you knowWorking Hard, or Hardly…oh, you know - Wait, here's Sarah with more: "With the help of Landon, we will start a business, and end up owning the business." Pretty sweet deal. Anyone else want to spell it out? |
05.01.1996 05.01.1996 |
D |
Alex Richmond |
5-1 Recap |
This House is HELLA Big!This House is HELLA Big! - Following in the Bunim-Murray tradition of pointing out the obvious, Joe says, "I'm talking to the camera." Maybe he's a narc. |
04.30.1996 04.30.1996 |
D |
Alex Richmond |
4-23 Recap |
Cheerio, Love!Cheerio, Love! - So let's say goodbye to the London season by filling a final episode with clips of all the exciting things that happened during the other episodes. Oh, wait. Nothing happened this season. Okay, so let's just throw some shots together and play some Sarah McLachlan. No one will notice. |
04.22.1995 04.26.1995 |
C- |
Gustave |
4-22 Recap |
Sharon, the African Drama QueenSharon, the African Drama Queen - Hey, what's up with Sharon? What's she all about? What lurks beneath the perky surface? Well from what we see this week, she may or may not be a lesbian who may or may not have survived incest. Oh, and she's a friend of the goat population. |
04.21.1995 04.25.1995 |
C- |
Gustave |
4-21 Recap |
I Hear the Yawns Down in Africa!I Hear the Yawns Down in Africa! - The gang goes to Africa. Neil over-identifies with the vanishing Masai warrior. Lars tells the anthropologists-in-residence what they're doing wrong. Jacinda gets her hair braided. Sharon doesn't like it when animals are slaughtered around her. |
04.20.1995 04.24.1995 |
C- |
Gustave |
4-20 Recap |
You Better Work, Part IIYou Better Work, Part II - Jacinda gets a couple of modeling gigs. This takes us out of the Attention Deficit Manor to exotic locales like Milan and Rome. Then Mike has a race in St. Louis. This takes us out of Attention Deficit Manor to exotic locales like...um, St. Louis. |
04.19.1995 04.23.1995 |
F |
Gustave |
4-19 Recap |
Music Is My Life, Part IIMusic Is My Life, Part II - Neil doesn't like working for a living, so he stops and pursues a recording contract instead. He fails. Sharon tries to get her band a recording contract. She fails, and her band breaks up. Lars tries to put together a party. He fails, but lands an important DJ gig. |
04.18.1995 04.22.1995 |
C- |
Gustave |
4-18 Recap |
More Hookups...FinallyMore Hookups…Finally - Kat meets a guy she likes. He's kind of a jerk. Lars meets a girl he likes. She's kind of old. Mike meets twins. Yeah, twins. |
04.17.1995 04.21.1995 |
C- |
Gustave |
4-17 Recap |
I ConfessI Confess - It's a contentless, narrativeless series of "amusing" outtakes shot in letterbox format. Wait -- considering this is London, isn't calling this a "contentless" episode redundant? |
04.16.1995 04.20.1995 |
F |
Gustave |
4-16 Recap |
Jacinda's So Crazy!Jacinda's So Crazy! - Jay returns to Oregon to see a high-school play and gets a hero's welcome...and some nookie from Alicia and/or Bruce, his high-school drama teacher. Jacinda helps Jay get some lingerie for his girlfriend, makes prank phone calls with Sharon, and gets her tongue pierced to impress Neil. |
04.15.1995 04.19.1995 |
C- |
Gustave |
4-15 Recap |
God Tells Sharon To Shut Up...AgainGod Tells Sharon To Shut Up…Again - Everyone starts to hate Sharon. Luckily she gets a nasty case of tonsillitis, so the housemates have to feel sorry for her. Kat is stressed out about passing her drama class, so Jacinda surprises her with a kitten. |
04.14.1995 04.18.1995 |
C- |
Gustave |
4-14 Recap |
Would You Be So Kind as to Wave Your Hands in the Air?Would You Be So Kind as to Wave Your Hands in the Air? - Mike's butt takes center stage in an episode that explores the love 'em and leave 'em ways of Kat and Mike, following a big party. Mike toys with the mind of one of Sharon's friends. Kat flirts with a couple of guys. Neil raps. |
04.13.1995 04.17.1995 |
C- |
Gustave |
4-13 Recap |
In Bed with JayIn Bed with Jay - When Jay was in high school, he wrote a play. We haven't heard too much about it, because he's too shy to talk about it much. When the legitimate London theaters pass on mounting this award-winning masterpiece, Mike helps him perform it at the Attention Deficit Manor, and finally two people in the house hook up...maybe. |
04.12.1995 04.16.1995 |
C- |
Gustave |
4-12 Recap |
Vroom! Vroom!Vroom! Vroom! - Mike finally gets to race a real car on a real track. To mark this auspicious occasion, his hairdo becomes almost steroidal in its stupendous grandeur. Jacinda flies a plane all by herself. Kat almost hooks up with a friend of Mike's as a favor to Bunim-Murray, but pulls out when the merchandise doesn't quite measure up to expectations. |
04.11.1995 04.15.1995 |
C- |
Gustave |
4-11 Recap |
Outward Bound (but not gagged)Outward Bound (but not gagged) - Nothing is going on inside the house, so Bunim-Murray decides to heat up the action by rounding everyone up and sending them into the country to commune with nature, share a single room, crawl around on rope courses, and otherwise re-enact a lukewarm version of Lord of the Flies starring Sharon as Piggy. |
04.10.1995 04.14.1995 |
C- |
Gustave |
4-10 Recap |
Shit HappensShit Happens - But then sometimes it doesn't, like on The Real World London. So sometimes Bunim-Murray has to string together a story line from a series of yawn-inducing activities, including the paying of a late phone bill, the failed housetraining of Legend, the loss of some housemates' property, and the playing of a non-sexual version of Truth or Dare. |
04.09.1995 04.13.1995 |
C- |
Gustave |
4-9 Recap |
The Loins Mike Sprang FromThe Loins Mike Sprang From - Mike's family comes to visit and injects fresh new meaning into the expression "ugly American." Some girl who never gave Jay the time of day back in "writing camp" decides to pay him a visit now that he's a Real World cast member. |
04.08.1995 04.11.1995 |
C- |
Gustave |
4-8 Recap |
The Dog, the Slag, The Wuss, the Supermodel, and the Dubious HookupThe Dog, the Slag, The Wuss, the Supermodel, and the Dubious Hookup - Now that Jacinda is no longer hampered by her duties as a supermodel of the world, she takes flying lessons, adopts a dog, and spends some quality time with her stunningly passive boyfriend. Mike wants to get laid. And thanks to some creative Bumin-Murray editing techniques, he kind of does. |
04.07.1995 04.11.1995 |
C- |
Gustave |
4-7 Recap |
The One Where Something Actually HappensThe One Where Something Actually Happens - Jay and Neil share the "Slacker of the Week" award from the rest of the house, which inspires them to get off their asses and...um, do stuff. Jay sees Blues Traveler and tries to find a venue for his play. Not that he's written anything, mind you. Neil gets his tongue bitten off, becoming the second blowhard housemate to be silenced this season. |
04.06.1995 04.10.1995 |
C- |
Gustave |
4-6 Recap |
You Better Work!You Better Work! - The opening strains of Supermodel by RuPaul start chirping. I guess we're focusing on Jacinda now because, after all, she is a supermodel. Well, except for one tiny problem -- you know, the fact that she doesn't walk for major designers or pose for magazines that are read in non-third-world countries. |
04.05.1995 04.05.1995 |
D |
Gustave |
4-5 Recap |
Kat and Mike Go For ItKat and Mike Go For It - Mike informs us by way of a voice-over that it's always been his dream to race cars in England because England has the best drivers. Do the best drivers in the world want to race with Michael? |
04.04.1995 04.04.1995 |
D |
Gustave |
4-4 Recap |
'Cause Music is My Life!'Cause Music is My Life! - Lars makes an appointment with Gordon Mack's secretary to meet with him in the offices of Kiss FM, and then he explains that he's happy not to have a job right away because he needs time to find out what the scene is like in London. By the way, this segment was brought to you by Kiss FM. Tune in the next time you're in London or Berlin. |
04.03.1995 04.03.1995 |
D |
Gustave |
4-3 Recap |
Neil's OrganNeil's Organ - Neil explains in a sit-down that Michael "typifies the aspects of America" that he's "not too happy about." You're not exactly selling us on English people either, Neil. |
04.02.1995 04.02.1995 |
D |
Gustave |
4-2 Recap |
Salad DaysSalad Days - The gang wakes up and each does some sort of variation of, "Gee ain't it neat to wake up in London?" Well, except for Neil and Sharon, who aren't shown, but if they were, I guess they'd be saying something like, "Gee ain't it neat to wake up a few blocks from where I normally live?" |
04.01.1995 04.01.1995 |
D |
Gustave |
4-1 Recap |
London YawningLondon Yawning - Then there's a charming scene where his father, who looks like he can't wait to get his son onto the plane, explains to Michael that Big Ben is a clock. Michael asks his father if he thinks he's going to stand out in London. Mr. Johnson explains that the English "like Americans." Oh yeah. |
03.31.1995 03.31.1995 |
D |
Gustave |
3-20 Recap |
Adios, San FranThe Long Goodbye - The kids pack up and leave. Finally. |
03.19.1994 03.23.1994 |
B- |
Pamie |
3-19 Recap |
Pedro's WeddingPedro Gets Hitched - Pedro and Sean exchange rings in front of all of their friends as Pedro decides he's not moving back to Miami. |
03.18.1994 03.22.1994 |
B- |
Pamie |
3-18 Recap |
She's a RebelLook, Everybody! Rachel's Doing Something Cool and Rebellious! - Rachel wants to teach the world that Republicans aren't just strictly religious, politically closed-minded, racist, wealthy snobs. They also get tattoos and sleep around with boys! |
03.17.1994 03.21.1994 |
C- |
Pamie |
3-17 Recap |
Judd Hates EverythingHell Is These People - The kids go to Hawaii and everyone hates everything. Especially Judd. Judd sure hates sun, water, fun, and everything else that goes into a Hawaiian vacation. |
03.16.1994 03.20.1994 |
C+ |
Pamie |
3-16 Recap |
Sick and TiredMohammed Speaks! - Mohammed breaks up with his girlfriend, sleeps with someone else, and gets back together with her all in the time it takes Pedro to visit the emergency room. |
03.15.1994 03.19.1994 |
C- |
Pamie |
3-15 Recap |
Jo Has Real DramaToo Much Judd - Jo becomes the first roommate with actual issues when she has to go to court because her ex-husband's appealing his restraining order. |
03.14.1994 03.18.1994 |
B- |
Pamie |
3-14 Recap |
Hello, Jo, Whaddaya Know?Replacing Puck - A new roommate is chosen as Rachel agonizes over her own self-created problems. |
03.13.1994 03.17.1994 |
C- |
Pamie |
3-13 Recap |
Nothing HappensThe Asparagus Is Not Cooked - Pedro goes to Miami. Cory misses Puck. Sean and Pedro try and figure out how to tell whether asparagus has been fully cooked. Don't miss out on any of the burning excitement inside! |
03.12.1994 03.16.1994 |
F |
Pamie |
3-12 Recap |
Judd Likes Pam. Pass It On.Mi Familia - Judd tries to surprise Pam for her birthday, but nobody really cares. Pedro visits Rachel's family in Phoenix and learns that Republicans have lots of opinions. |
03.11.1994 03.15.1994 |
C- |
Pamie |
3-11 Recap |
Get the Puck OutEviction Notice - So much hemming and hawing you'd think the kids had to decide their positions on euthanasia. No, it's just whether Puck has to leave the house now that Pedro's had enough. |
03.10.1994 03.14.1994 |
C+ |
Pamie |
3-10 Recap |
The Puck WorldPuck Count: One Trillion - Seven people, one plot line: Puck sucks. |
03.09.1994 03.13.1994 |
C- |
Pamie |
3-9 Recap |
Miss Boring-Sleepy Poor Pretty-RecapperWhat the Puck? - Pedro and Puck don't like each other. Stop the presses! |
03.08.1994 03.11.1994 |
C- |
Pamie |
3-8 Recap |
Pedro Has AIDS Real BadPedro Has AIDS Real Bad - Pedro jokes that when he dies, he wants people to take notice. The adage "Be careful what you wish for" springs to mind. |
03.07.1994 03.07.1994 |
D |
Sep |
3-7 Recap |
Dog's LifeDog's Life - Rachel tells us how great she is at school and how much she loves it. In other news, Cory has no direction and Pam is an overachiever. Puck is a criminal. |
03.06.1994 03.06.1994 |
D |
Sep |
3-6 Recap |
Datin' and Relatin'Datin' and Relatin' - Judd tells us that he and Rachel have been flirting a lot. Um, in your head, maybe, but I certainly haven't seen it. I get the feeling that a lot of reality for Dudd occurs in his head. |
03.05.1994 03.05.1994 |
D |
Sep |
3-5 Recap |
Get a Haircut! And Get a Real Job!Get a Haircut! And Get a Real Job! - The good news is that Dudd goes to Hollywood. The bad news is that we go with him. |
03.04.1994 03.04.1994 |
D |
Sep |
3-4 Recap |
Two Parties and a FuneralTwo Parties and a Funeral - Puck says that the soapbox derby is "what [he's] about." He saves Bunim-Murray's crack editing team the trouble of having to use multiple interviews to reiterate the same point by repeating it no less than twice in the span of a minute. |
03.03.1994 03.03.1994 |
D |
Sep |
3-3 Recap |
No. More. Poetry.No. More. Poetry. - Oh dear god. This entire episode is going to be about Cory, isn't it? |
03.02.1994 03.02.1994 |
N/A |
Sep |
3-2 Recap |
My Stinky ValentineMy Stinky Valentine - Puck tells Cory that in San Francisco Valentine's is actually known as "St. Puck's Day." Cory says, "Oh," like she believes him. Twit. |
03.01.1994 03.01.1994 |
D |
Sep |
3-1 Recap |
I Hate Them All AlreadyI Hate Them All Already - We open with every clichéd shots of San Francisco imaginable: cable cars, the Golden Gate bridge and twee houses in the marina. There's a voice-over of an unidentified man, who I will helpfully identify as Puck, saying that "messengers get a bad rep because they have to tell a car what to do." Actually, bike messengers get a bad rep because they pull stupid stunts like holding onto the wheel well of a car and coasting alongside it, as Puck demonstrates. |
02.28.1994 02.28.1994 |
D |
Sep |
2-21 Recap |
The End, My FriendsThe End, My Friends - It's all over for the kids in the beach house; Aaron graduates from UCLA, Beth is outed, and Glenn fades back into sweet obscurity. And not a moment too soon! |
02.20.1993 02.24.1993 |
B- |
Jessica |
2-20 Recap |
The One Where Everyone SingsThe One Where Everyone Sings - Tami, Jon, and Glenn put on a show, with a little help from Dom. It's all-singing, all-dancing, all boring! |
02.19.1993 02.23.1993 |
B- |
Jessica |
2-19 Recap |
The Polish Voice of Cleveland?The Polish Voice of Cleveland? - Beth's mother comes to town, and her relationship with Beth explains a whole lot. In other news, Glenn is a jerk, and people shoot each other with paint. |
02.18.1993 02.22.1993 |
B- |
Jessica |
2-18 Recap |
Mexico!Mexico! - The kids head down south for a vacation that turns into a complete disaster, proving to all of them, at last, that they really, really hate each other. |
02.17.1993 02.21.1993 |
B |
Jessica |
2-17 Recap |
Sexcapades!Friends and Lovers - Everyone gets some -- even Beth, although she has to hide in the closet to bring home the bacon, if you know what we mean. And we think you do. |
02.16.1993 02.20.1993 |
B |
Jessica |
2-16 Recap |
Group Bonding is StupidThe Question and Answer Game - Glenn acts like a total jackhole and then forces his roommates into a group bonding exercise. It allegedly brings them all closer. Like that's gonna last. |
02.15.1993 02.18.1993 |
B- |
Jessica |
2-15 Recap |
Sweet Home, KentuckyThe Show About Nothing - Jon tries out for a part in a movie, with disastrous results, and then goes home to Owensboro to see his fans! Aaron goes to school. Best of all: no Beth! |
02.14.1993 02.18.1993 |
C- |
Jessica |
2-14 Recap |
Wired!Body Issues and Bad Jobs - Tami thinks she eats too much, so she has her jaw wired shut. Also, she and Beth hate their jobs. And we all learn about safe sex. |
02.13.1993 02.17.1993 |
D+ |
Jessica |
2-12 Recap |
Meet Beth Anthony!She's a Lesbian! - There once was a girl named Beth A. |
02.11.1993 02.15.1993 |
C- |
Jessica |
2-13 Recap |
Almost 85% Snark-Free!Irish Eyes are Crying - Dom returns to Ireland to make peace with his sickly father. Jessica can't make fun of that! |
02.12.1993 02.15.1993 |
C |
Jessica |
2-11 Recap |
Wedding Bells, Schmedding BellsWedding Bells, Schmedding Bells - Jon explains that Irene is getting married that weekend, and it's been so very, very hard to bid her farewell forever, but he did help her load her car. Wow, Jon, here's a cookie. |
02.10.1993 02.10.1993 |
D |
Jessica |
2-10 Recap |
Issues, SchmissuesIssues, Schmissues - Actually, this is a pretty serious episode; like, issues are discussed, and shit. It's like the Bizarro Real World, only not completely, because Beth is still a pain in the ass, and Dom isn't a twelve-stepper. |
02.09.1993 02.09.1993 |
D |
Jessica |
2-9 Recap |
Outward BoredOutward Bored - Eric Nies dances topless in front of Mary-Ellis Bunim, who idly slips a quarter into his Speedo. As Nies's stomach muscles undulate, it comes to her (insert your own Eric Nies Sex Joke here. I can't bring myself to think about it anymore). The ultimate torture: Outward Bound. |
02.08.1993 02.08.1993 |
D |
Jessica |
2-8 Recap |
Enter GlenEnter Glen - Dom plays Basil Exposition for a second, explaining to the camera that the roommates are going to interview three men, and pick one to be David's replacement. |
02.07.1993 02.07.1993 |
D |
Jessica |
2-7 Recap |
And Take Beth With You!And Take Beth With You! - David gets the boot. |
02.06.1993 02.06.1993 |
D |
Jessica |
2-6 Recap |
The One You've Been Waiting ForThe One You've Been Waiting For - This is the ultimate episode of this season of The Real World. The infamous "rape" episode. So many histrionics, so much screaming and yelling, so much Jessica Wakefield-esque posturing from the loathsome Beth. |
02.05.1993 02.05.1993 |
D |
Jessica |
2-5 Recap |
Mommy, Aaron and Dom Are Mean!Mommy, Aaron and Dom Are Mean! - Tami explains that she and Kenya, her Studs Bachelor #1, are "cheating." Not on one another, but on Studs, in an attempt to fix the show. It's just like the Twenty-One scandal, except Robert Redford would never make a movie about Tami's classless attempt to score a free chaperoned trip to Jamaica and $600. |
02.04.1993 02.04.1993 |
D |
Jessica |
2-4 Recap |
We Hate DavidWe Hate David - David leans into the camera and tells us that Tami "is very moody." Ya think? |
02.03.1993 02.03.1993 |
D |
Jessica |
2-3 Recap |
City Mouse vs. Country MouseCity Mouse vs. Country Mouse - As Irene straps her gun on, she states the obvious: "I'm a female, and I'm a police officer." Thanks for clearing that up. |
02.02.1993 02.02.1993 |
N/A |
Jessica |
2-2 Recap |
Meet and Greet and Moan and GroanMeet and Greet and Moan and Groan - There's this horrible thwack-thonky music playing as we see the Winnie carrying Dom, Tami and Jon across America to their "swanky" pad in Los Angeles. |
02.01.1993 02.01.1993 |
D |
Jessica |
2-1 Recap |
Welcome to HicksvilleWelcome to Hicksville - Remember early 1993? Kurt Cobain was still alive, the AIDS epidemic was, arguably, at its height, and Jessica was wearing flannel and reading Sassy. She'd say it was a happy time, except for the fact that it totally wasn't. |
01.31.1993 01.31.1993 |
D |
Jessica |
1-13 Recap |
This is the End... The End of the BeginningThis is the End… The End of the Beginning - THE VERY LAST EPISODE! Kevin and Julie hug and make up. The crew makes fun of Eric Nies. |
01.12.1992 01.12.1992 |
D |
Manimal |
1-12 Recap |
Who's Afraid of Heather B.?Who's Afraid of Heather B.? - Heather and Eric get in a big fight, and Heather really manages to pierce Eric's glossy surface and hurt all two of his feelings. Andre and the "band" make a video. |
01.11.1992 01.11.1992 |
D |
Manimal |
1-11 Recap |
Raging BullshitRaging Bullshit - Kevin and Julie have a Really. Big. Fight. The lofties then throw a party where some bitty asks for a cup, and she and Heather B. get into a little altercation. The bitty accuses Heather of assaulting her. Heather B. gets semi-arrested. |
01.10.1992 01.10.1992 |
D |
Manimal |
1-10 Recap |
It's a Family AffairIt's a Family Affair - The roommates find a hideous little dog, and eventually, the owner. Julie's mother visits, and Julie experiences that classic condition Dysfunctiona Minora. |
01.09.1992 01.09.1992 |
D |
Manimal |
1-9 Recap |
Politics and Strange BedfellowsPolitics and Strange Bedfellows - The gang gets all political and votes and goes to rallies and stuff. Norman finds a not-boyfriend. Julie plays at being homeless, and later tells her mom she's not coming home right away; Julie's Mom Decides to Pay a Visit. |
01.08.1992 01.08.1992 |
D |
Manimal |
1-8 Recap |
Booty Call!Booty Call! - The girls get sent to Jamaica with one mission: FIND MEN, i.e., hot, foreign slabs of love-flesh. Unfortunately, the men in Jamaica are mostly vacationing dorks from the U.S. or native sleazeballs, so Becky sleeps with a Real World director instead. Oh, and she and Kevin get over the whole fight thing. |
01.07.1992 01.07.1992 |
N/A |
Manimal |
1-7 Recap |
Race Relations and Other Practical JokesRace Relations and Other Practical Jokes - Heather meets Larry Johnson. The girls get free tickets to Jamaica, and the boys get bubkes. Kevin and Becky have a fight over race relations. |
01.06.1992 01.06.1992 |
D |
Manimal |
1-6 Recap |
Like a VirginLike a Virgin - Kevin's really, really concerned with Julie remaining a virgin. The loftmates all get together and play a nasty joke on Kevin and pretend they're what they're not. Kevin wigs. |
01.05.1992 01.05.1992 |
D |
Manimal |
1-5 Recap |
Play it to the Bone(heads)Play it to the Bone(heads) - Eric and Kevin fight. Then we get to meet Eric's anorectic girlfriend. |
01.04.1992 01.04.1992 |
D |
Manimal |
1-4 Recap |
My Roommate, He Wrote Me a LetterMy Roommate, He Wrote Me a Letter - Becky is a tramp. She's also a self-righteous, irritating twerp whose really undeserved sense of superiority comes from being maybe four or five years older than some of her housemates. Eric and Kevin get freak-nasty on each other, and Kevin writes Eric a mean letter that makes Eric very, very angry. And when Eric Nies gets angry... people DIE. Of boredom. |
01.03.1992 01.03.1992 |
D |
Manimal |
1-3 Recap |
Playin' at the Talent ShowPlayin' at the Talent Show - Cut to Andre strumming his guitar. (Not a euphemism -- he's actually strumming his guitar.) |
01.02.1992 01.02.1992 |
D |
Manimal |
1-2 Recap |
White Men Can't Jump. Or Rap, or Dance.White Men Can't Jump. Or Rap, or Dance. - "I'm Too Sexy" plays as Julie and Becky leaf through various pictures of Eric in water, Eric with his shirt off, Eric with his shiny, hairless man-titties a-gleam, standing in water, Eric looking like a towel boy for a gay bath house, etc., etc., etc. |
01.01.1992 01.01.1992 |
D |
Manimal |
1-1 Recap |
If You Can Make It There...If You Can Make It There… - I had forgotten how whiny, awful and horrible a lot of the season was. |
12.31.1991 12.31.1991 |
D |
Manimal |