Real World - Road Rules Challenge
Welcome to Africa

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Welcome to Africa

Well, well, well. TWoP and the Real World/Road Rules Challenge. We meet again. This time around it's the Inferno III, which will once again pit the wussily-named "Good Guys" against the personality-disorder-afflicted "Bad Asses." So who eschewed gainful employment to Jell-O-wrestle in paradise this time? For the Good Guys: Ace (who never fails to remind us that the frat boy stereotype isn't all bad); Rachel (who -- have you heard? -- was in Iraq); Johnny Bananas (who I weirdly like now); Susie (go-to nice girl); Davis (ambivalence personified); Colie (no self-respect weighing her down makes her faster!); Timmy (celebrating his Golden Jubilee with Bunim-Murray); Paula (in her usual constant state of almost-weeping); Alton (looking weirdly bobble-headed this season); and Cara (who, last time I checked, nobody but Susie likes).

For the Bad Asses: Abram (fresh off his latest punching rampage, he's also freshly bald, achieving a "leukemia patient" effect that I'm not sure was intended); Ev (who? Oh, the lesbian athlete who got bounced in the first episode of Fresh Meat. So, again: who?); Aneesa (who is apparently "bad" even though she was totally heroic and awesome not one Challenge ago); Tyrie (intimidator of gays; urinator of streets); Janelle (from Key West, who is already trying way too hard to be interesting); Kenny (sure, make the funny, cute, affable guy who dragged Tina's ass to a second-place finish a "bad" guy); Jenn (oh, awesome) (she's from the Denver cast) (and is out of her mind); CT (only person in the history of mankind who ever made Wes look good by comparison); Tonya (because Joe Francis was kind enough to give her a week off from Girls Gone Wild: The Seniors Tour); and Danny (who is the living embodiment of the fact that some people just look cuter with their faces punched in). Danny, by the way, was sure he was going to be a "Good Guy." Yes, but then you started talking to people, dear.

Also, T.J. Lavin is back to host, and maybe this is the year he finally gets into a fight with one of these meatheads. And they're in South Africa this time, leading to the absolute stupidest credits sequence yet. I know I checked out the second they all started running like cheetahs.

So the first night, as always, is when all the good shit goes down. This time, it takes about 0.3 seconds for everyone to get drunk and for the boys to start wrestling. And this isn't Miz wrestling, where everyone's got a goofy persona and butt cracks abound. No, this means that CT won't release a choke hold on Kenny, to the point where Kenny's tongue actually starts protruding from his mouth. Of course they keep wrestling. Kenny accidentally bloodies CT's nose, and CT now has to save face by getting up in Kenny's face and wanting to fight for real. Because we're now in a prison movie. Kenny walks away, but later on -- in an event the crack camera team completely misses -- we see CT has punched Davis in the eye for essentially no reason. And then he went to bed. Johnny Bananas comes off the best out of everybody, comforting Davis and getting genuinely pissed off on his behalf. Everybody realizes CT has to go, and they tell his drunken ass so. CT's all, "What'd I do? I didn't hit Davis because he was gay." Even though nobody suggested he did. But that kind of tells you all you need to know, does it not? Oh, and also CT's got to have his pubes blurred out in nearly every shot of him. Classy.

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Real World - Road Rules Challenge




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