Real World - Road Rules Challenge
Team Girl Squad

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Team Girl Squad

Previously, everyone hated Susie; Derrick killed Davis and ate him and made a necklace from his bones and gave the necklace to Abram; Susie whined; Aneesa didn't want to go home.

As we see a gauzy flashback of the unspeakable tragedy she's describing, Susie narrates that Abram jumped out of the hot tub as she was walking past it and tackled her into the swimming pool. Looking like a drowned rat -- location of drowning: box of Clairol -- Susie huddles in a towel in the bathroom, all hiccupy-hysterical crying. In an interview, she says that it's because of the four Inferno nominations, which "broke" her; more likely it's that Abram is a mean meanie for messing up her hair and failing to kiss her ass. As Susie gulps about how she's getting picked on, Cara looks sad for her, and Paula looks mystified. And bored. Cara interviews about how seeing strong Susie crying blah blah you're a barnacle shut up.

Outside, Abram's like, she's crying? About…that? Johnny Bananas: "You got pushed in the pool. Shut the fuck up, dude." I'm-a stitch that on a pillow.

The clue comes in. It's something involving swinging and strong arms, and only temporarily distracts the menfolk from doing body shots off an inflatable girl. Obviously.

The next day, the teams straggle up to the Challenge arena. Susie's hair is in a smackable pair of Mickey-Mouse buns at the top of her head, and she's looking all boo-hoo-poor-me about things as TJ explains the Challenge. It's simpler than most: there are two vertical nets in the water. You climb a net, grab a rope, swing to another net, grab a team flag, swing back, et cetera, until you've snagged all your flags. You have 15 minutes to finish; if you lose the rope or fall into the water, it's a DQ and an automatic 15-minute time.

TJ then explains that Tonya has a doctor's exemption, and the editors treat us to some charming footage of Tonya turbo-chundering into the toilet in the middle of the night as she explains that she couldn't stop throwing up. She makes it out like it's food poisoning or something, but she just told us two weeks ago that she'd started drinking more because of the stress. I'm not saying she's hung over. I'm…just saying. Anyway, the prize for the best individual performers is a four-day trip to Hawaii, which isn't all that great, but of course everyone freaks out about it. Paula and Susie interview about how much each of them needs the Life Shield.

Challenge time. Bananas starts us off with a little Tarzan humor, and he's plugging along until we cut to a reaction shot of Paula and Susie acting like he just fell onto an alligator made of razors and Ebola.

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Real World - Road Rules Challenge




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