Real World - Road Rules Challenge
Swamp Rats

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Swamp Rats

Piggy tells us the teams are in Vero Beach, Florida and they are going to do "something swampy." Mike tells us that there are only four missions left, so his team has to get its act together. Yes thinks that if his team wins today, the RW team might "bawl like babies." On the bus, heading for the mission, Holly talks about "the breakup with the boyfriend that was so traumatic" to Dan and Veronica. Holly tells us that she is "very protected [sic] against getting hurt again," but that she trusts Dan.

The two teams arrive at a park for a "swamp buggy mission." Yes tells us it's going to be "wet, dirty and ugly," and that he's ready to race. Remember when I said that everything Yes says sounds like sex? Still applies here. David is all fired up to get into his swamp buggy, which is essentially a jacked-up Jeep. Some guy tells Yes that there are no brakes in the Jeeps, so you "have to gauge yourself." No brakes? Is that safe? I hope they wear seatbelts! Another guy tells Teck and Heather that the Jeeps turn over easily and can result in a broken arm, or getting pinned underwater. Heather tells us that they "do not do this in New York" and that she can't "drive a clutch." The head guy comes up and tells the RW team that each team member will have to drive a Jeep. Heather tells us that there's no way she will learn to drive a stick shift that quickly. We see a shot of her grinding the gears. I don't know what kind of mechanism they've got going there, but the gear shift is where your rear-view mirror would be in a normal car -- at the top center of the windshield. David comes over and tries to give her some pointers. He tells us that he's frustrated that Heather can't drive stick because "it's not that difficult." I will agree with him that it's not that difficult, but it takes more than thirty minutes to learn, in my experience. Especially when no one is giving her very good instruction. Teck tries to give her some more pointers, but she keeps stalling out. Heather tells us that David's attitude towards competition is "aggravating" to her, and childish.

Los and Veronica start driving the Jeep with no problem. Annoying is standing in a field, hunched over, and in a voice-over tells us that her "one problem with this mission" is that she ate some bad shrimp last night and is really sick. Because eating shellfish isn't against her religious beliefs, or anything. Maybe after the pigs' feet thing, she just figured she's going to hell anyway, so she might as well go whole hog (no pun intended). David says that it's funny, because Annoying's illnesses always happen around mission time. He says, "She'll be jamming all morning, but then come mission time, she's like 'Oh, I need an enema' or 'I have food poisoning.' I think around final mission time, she's going to come down with Hodgkin's Disease." Ha! And do you think Annoying really tells people she needs an enema? That was a visual I definitely did not need. Annoying walks around and looks pukey some more. David tells his team to make sure to just keep their foot on the gas pedal. Heather asks Annoying how she is, and Annoying says she doesn't want to talk about it. David tells her that "it's game time" and she needs to have "a killer instinct." David says that when he is in the Jeep with Kat, he might hold her foot down to the gas pedal. Kat tells him that he can give her instruction, but he has to let her make decisions while she is driving. Kat tells us that "when David is in competitive mode, he really, really [bleep] pisses me off." David says the reason his team does not win missions is "purely mental." As in, they're all mental?

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Real World - Road Rules Challenge

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