Real World - Road Rules Challenge
Playing The Game

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Joe R: C+ | Grade It Now!
Playing The Game

So throughout the challenge, Susie keeps popping up in interviews, telling us all about how Colie and Paula and Cara are in on this plan to throw her the Life Shield, and she's very concerned and judgy and obnoxious about the level to which they are accomplishing this goal. I have liked her in every single show she's ever been on, back to the first time she ever told Piggy she looked like Scary Spice, but: shut up, Susie. So by the time she and Alton attempt their turn as the "last" team to compete (I'm on to you, dramatic editing!), she'd better fucking rock out at it. And...well, she finishes at least, which is more than can be said for anyone else. So Susie gets the Life Shield, Jenn does not, and the GGs win the challenge.

In other challenge developments that are neither here nor there: Kenny re-takes the lead in the Challenge Boyfriend derby, leaving Johnny Bananas and Ace behind for now; and Abram appears to be...kind of snarky and considerate to his partner? Did he go off his 'roid cycle this week?

Back in the BA van, Abe accuses the girls (Aneesa in particular) of throwing the mission to try and get Jenn the Life Shield. Aneesa's like, "...Maybe." So she and Ev get into another shouting match, and I do not know what is up Aneesa's ass about Ev, but I wish the show would explain it to us, even if it's something stupid and behind-the-scenes. Then, because people stopped paying attention to her for a whole minute, Jenn gets red-faced angry and says she doesn't need anyone to be throwing missions for her benefit. Because she knows what I know: the Inferno goes to the craziest. And ain't many crazier than Jenn.

Susie indeed casts Rachel into the Inferno, where she and Jenn have to compete in a tricked-out jousting contest. Okay, challenge producers, I'll give you this one. It's a nice spin on the classic joust. Basically, they're standing on platforms that will raise up on an angle when their opponent strikes a target with their jousting stick. The more hits, the steeper the angle, until someone falls off. Best three out of five. Rachel takes the first two falls easily, but Jenn quickly realizes that she can just knock Rachel off balance by knocking the stick out of her hands. Which is what she does as she wins the next three falls, eliminating Rachel. It's actually a really good job by Jenn of feeling out a weakness and exploiting it.

Rachel, and this is being charitable, utterly loses her shit. It seems like she'd gotten it into her head that she was going to win because she was a better-conditioned soldier, and when she didn't win, all of a sudden it reflected upon her beyond simply losing at a dumb carnival game some MTV pothead intern cooked up. She cries like crazy and won't accept comfort and generally takes it more personally than anyone in the history of the Challenges, including all 85 times Coral accused Mike of destroying their friendship. Bottom line: buck the hell up, little camper. And stop calling Jenn "some chubby civilian girl," because that makes you look like an idiot. Also making Rachel look like an idiot: the fact that she runs out of the Inferno arena and into Challenge oblivion, holding her head and wailing in anguish. Meanwhile, Ace is picking his nose and Janelle is running lines in her head for her Garnier commercial audition. Stop taking this at all seriously!

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Real World - Road Rules Challenge




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