Real World - Road Rules Challenge
Once More, With Lack Of Feeling

Episode Report Card
Joe R: B | 1 USERS: A+
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Once More, With Lack Of Feeling

The credits are as retarded as ever, but they give me a chance to run down the teams in full. For the Rookies: Nehemiah (Beth-kissing dick), Janelle (way too into thinking she's a big deal), Tyrie (jury's still out), Angel (no idea, but she looks like that girl on Heroes who can pick up wrestling moves from watching TV), Rachel (who still hates chubby civilians), Tyler (who is making the rest of us look bad by wearing some figure-skating blouse instead of a shirt -- no one needs to see your man-cleave, dude), Brooke (awesome), Melinda (still looking like Melanie Griffith's strung-out daughter), Derek (no idea), Frank (doooooooouche!), Zach (because we needed everyone from Key West), Tori (who we just met), Alex (thinking he's tough), Jillian (...her?), Ryan (niiice), and the aforementioned Johanna.

For the Veterans: Diem, Ev (whose lesbianism is written on her Rambo-style headband), Katie (who's gotta have a tracheotomy hole in her neck by now, right?), Adam (the heir to the Commodores fortune), Casey (grand duchess of foobs), Eric (the one who the previews are making us think is gonna die), Beth (who competed in the first-ever Gauntlet at the Polo Grounds in aught-six), Brad, Robin (who I hated, then loved, then decided I loved only when she didn't drink, then hated again), Danny, Paula (aw, yay!), Kenny (here to once again compete for the Challenge Boyfriend crown), Johnny Bananas (ditto), Evan (representin' Canada), CT, and Coral.

I laugh my ass of when T.J. calls these 32 unemployable professional shot-drinkers "alumni," but then I have to rewind the DVR twice just to understand the rules of the show, so I should probably shut up. After the regular team challenge, the winning team will choose one person from the losing team to go into the Gauntlet. Then, the losing team will have to choose which player, of the same sex, will be battling their teammate in said Gauntlet. In addition, the winning team will make someone from the losing team immune, heretofore known as the Keep Beth's Fat Ass Around Clause. Casey explains the "keep your opponent's weakest link" strategy to us like we're morons. Angel thinks she could be that weak link on the Rookies team, which will work to her advantage. Lastly, it's a winner-take-all game this year, with 300K to be split among only those who finish the game on the winning team. Everybody yaks about what they'll do for the money, including Frank saying he'd be willing to stab a friend in the back for it, which is funny because: like Frank has friends.

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Real World - Road Rules Challenge

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