Real World - Road Rules Challenge
Match-Up Of The Century

Episode Report Card
Joe R: B | Grade It Now!
Match-Up Of The Century

As we transition from the first half-hour to the second half-hour (seriously, MTV, nobody's fooled by your mashing two episodes together and pretending like you expanded the show to an hour), we see Derek and Paula lounging around all lovey-dovey. So Derek's getting thrown in the Gauntlet, then? It seems these two have been making out during all the time they've been ignored on the show thus far. Meanwhile, Danny, CT, and Brad talk about having to win this next competition possibly by themselves, if the girls smarten up and throw it. Seriously, look at Danny's arms sometimes. He's all bicep and no forearm. It's like he's wearing flesh-colored floaties. Nature doesn't do that to a body, Needles O'Bacne.

Danny and Evan tool around with the clue announcement, and while Nehemiah interviews about how much he needs to stick around, we see yet another segment with Derek talking about what he would do in the completely unlikely event that the Vets win and he's thrown into the Gauntlet. Seriously, the fact that we're focusing on Derek at all is as close to a dead giveaway as you can get. Darling Ryan tries to push Derek towards a mindset of choosing to go up against Frank, should the unthinkable happen, but Derek's assurances that he'd never want to go up against Ryan (they seem to be tight) nudge me closer and closer to this episode's conclusion already.

The challenge is a balance beam walk, suspended over the water, while the other team swings medicine balls at them. Sounds like a fun time. Adam gets knocked down, Eric's too fat to get knocked down, CT makes it across (of course), Kenny DQs himself for touching one of the ropes, Evan falls, Brad makes it, and Danny gets knocked but he's far enough along that he falls onto the platform. The Rookie men go: Derek absorbs a couple good shots before darting across, M.J. falls off, Frank and Nehemiah make it, and the it's Ryan...who gets SO CLOSE to making it across before he's knocked off.

Now the Vet girls who, if they were fucking smart, would all just allow themselves to get knocked off and teach their boys a lesson. Doesn't seem like that's the plan. This involves heights again, so Casey is taking this as her excuse to freak out and act like a baby. Coral tries to position her second in line, and Casey freaks out and acts like a baby. She seems to think that there's a position in the order that she could go that won't involve running across a high beam. That is not the case. Coral is finally like, "Is third okay with you, princess?" and Casey freaks out and acts like a baby. Brad interviews that they need five girls to make it across to win and four to tie. Robin makes it through untouched, Katie is petrified and inches across, Casey tries to let Katie shield her but gets knocked off, and Diem rushes up behind Katie and starts shaking her arms at her (the fuck?) until they both make it across. It becomes clear that the Rookie girls aren't strong enough to really whip the medicine balls. Evelyn makes it across. Veterans win. No need for the Rookie girls to even try.

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Real World - Road Rules Challenge




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