Real World - Road Rules Challenge
If These Walls Could Talk

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Carpe Diem

Drunken Bee is off for the night doing something with the brain cells she still has remaining after covering this show for years. Lucky her. Tonight's stellar episode starts out with sweet little Diem doing a drunken dance, which involves a lot of spinning and her winding up on the floor. Evan is hoping desperately for a new partner next season. One that's not afraid of heights, and doesn't pass out after a few drinks. Rachel and Jenn are behind closed doors talking about how close they are getting. Aneesa listens on, and she sounds kind of jealous. Evan brags that there have only been a few winners in the challenges and then he starts being paranoid about how it is going to come back to screw them all.

Rachel talks to Aneesa about how they were together like a hundred years ago (way back on Battle of the Sexes 1) for a hot minute. Rachel thinks Aneesa should get over it and thinks that Aneesa is being disrespectful and is making her feel uncomfortable. I didn't watch that season, or I probably did and I forgot, so I can't remember if they dated, just hooked up, or if that is where they became friends and the context of this argument isn't helping. Basically Aneesa seems jealous that Jenn is Rachel's new friend, but Rachel thinks that Aneesa is her best friend in the house and Jenn is her romantic fling. Evan says Aneesa is like the ex-girlfriend who calls late at night that you can't get rid of. Aneesa says she's dated many people since then, but she doesn't have to live with them. Jenn overhears Aneesa saying that Rachel is just out for fun and that's why she's with Jenn. Landon says the stress is eating him alive. Derek says that the game is intense and he's having weird dreams. Jenn says that she's all riled up about Aneesa's remarks, and that's not the right mindset going into a challenge, but that she's going to have to retaliate. Good lord. Before the challenge, they have a little tiff. Aneesa interviews that she used to love Rachel, and she can't just turn those feelings off. Jenn continues to ramble about her and Rachel's wonderful relationship. If it was so wonderful, would we really be witnessing this stupid fight?

TJ introduces Upside Downer. It's a 60-foot rope that's suspended over a cliff, with Maori carvings hanging from the side that they have to grab while they are suspended from their ankles. They have the ropes to pull themselves along, and they have to swing themselves to reach the carvings. It's an individual challenge. Diem takes this time to remind us all that she's afraid of heights. Yeah, we've heard. About a million times already this season. She thinks that TJ is personally out to get her. I'm sure that TJ has not one whit to do with any of these challenges. He probably sits in a nice hotel and a sweet trailer and is only brought out when necessary. The winner gets a $1000 gas card. That's the most useful prize they've doled out so far.

Landon, last challenge's winner, gets to pick who goes first and last among the guys. Brittini gets to pick the girls. The decided that Derek and Diem, who haven't proved themselves thus far, should have the honor of going first. Derek starts out. He's all disoriented. After ten minutes, he's only got one of the medallions. Derek chastises himself in the first person. Next out is MJ. Evan says MJ's superpower hair acts like wings and is an advantage in this challenge. Watching this challenge kind of makes me want to hurl. I can't even imagine doing it. MJ gets all the tablets, but he's close to the ten minute mark. Evan has to turn his brain off to swing out for the tablets. While you'd think this wouldn't be a problem, it really is. Surprising as that may be. But he finishes in just over five minutes. Brad goes up. Tori watches and calls him her little monkey. Rachel says that Tori used the word "Baby" during her cheering over 500 times and she can't handle it. I can't say I blame her. He makes quick work of it. Mark goes up and finishes super fast. Evan says it is because Mark is nine feet tall. Landon's last for the guys. He completes it, but we have to wait to find out how long it took him.

Then it's time for the girls. Diem's first and she's freaking out that she's going to fall. But once she gets started she seems to do OK. She says she's more calm during this one, maybe because all the blood has flooded her brain and she can't think straight. She does well. Jenn wants to win so she doesn't have to go duel again, and I'm like duh, that's the entire purpose of the game. It takes her nearly twice as long as Diem. Aneesa has some trouble. She keeps hitting the ropes. At ten minutes, she doesn't finish. Jenn thinks that Aneesa crying is funny, and she hates that Aneesa plays the victim all the time. Tori goes, and Brad decides that sweetie is his term of endearment for the day. Her time's not as strong as Diem's. Rachel goes and she seems to be moving fast, but we don't see her time. Then Brittini is up, and she has some trouble.

Guys champion is Landon, by just a few seconds. Rachel wins for the girls. Diem thinks this sucks. Rachel wishes she could save Jenn, but doesn't want to jeopardize her shot at the cash for it. At least Rachel has her priorities straight. They try to decide if Mark or Brit is getting the first pick and they do that annoying thing where they try to figure out the list. I liked it better when Brit won and we didn't care about the lists. Jenn complains about Aneesa a lot. She hates that she's still here. Evan worries that no one is going to pick him, and is nervous because Derek won't tell anyone who he is going to call out into the challenge. Mark is pretty calm about it. Tori reassures Evan that Derek will be taking MJ into the duel.

It's nighttime and Jenn is STILL complaining about Aneesa, but now she's bitching to all of the other girls. Diem wants it to be settled in a Jenn vs. Aneesa duel. That would be the first interesting thing this season. Jenn starts attacking Aneesa's soul. When did that ever come in to play on this ridiculous show?

The next day Landon and Rachel tell TJ that they decided to pick Mark first to save from "possible elimination." After everyone plays favorites for a while, Derek and Jenn are left to go into the duel. They get to pick people to battle against. Brad worries that he's going in. Derek shockingly picks Evan. Evan is annoyed that he got bad intel. Derek thinks that MJ has a good reason for being here. Aneesa basically dares Jenn to take her in. I so wish, but of course, this show being as dumb as it is, Jenn chooses Diem, because she thinks she's an easy target. They pick cards for games. The boys pick Spot On. Evan's already done this, so he's got an advantage. Jenn chooses Push Over, which she's done already. Three times. Diem says that everyone thinks she's a nice girl, but she's going to show them that she can kick some butt.

Back at the house, Rachel says that Jenn made the smarter decision, and that now they'll get to have dinner together on Saturday. Overconfident much? In the living room, Tori and Diem use couch cushions to practice Push Over. Derek gripes about the whole list system. Mostly because he was in the middle, and now he's at the bottom of the barrel. Evan tells Aneesa that he'll start weeping if he wins. This game is really all he has. That's sort of depressing. He also tells Aneesa that she is his only friend. Evan, you are breaking my heart here, you big lug.

Duel time. The boys are up first with Spot On. Derek is as prepared as he possibly can be. If they win they get to stick around and get some huge headphones. Yay? Jenn thinks Derek has a good shot, but he seems to be taking longer to work out the puzzle before he starts climbing. Evan's already got some pieces in, while Derek is still sitting there. When Derek finally does start scaling the wall, he falls pretty quickly. Twice. Derek interviews that it is frustrating as a former college athlete not to be able to climb this wall. And he falls again. Then again. Evan finishes the puzzle, putting Derek out of his misery. Evan's pumped an

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Real World - Road Rules Challenge

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