Real World - Road Rules Challenge
Don't Make Me a Target

Episode Report Card
Drunken Bee: B | 1 USERS: A+
Don't Make Me a Target

Nighttime. Ryan and Nehemiah are talking about how the Rookies are now a "dream team." Frank comes up and is informed of this fact and then interviews, "What the fuck are you talking about? Our team is terrible!" Which, I hate to say it because it's Frank, really just made me laugh. Clue delivery, performed by Eric. Eric's appearance reminding me: didn't the season preview tell us he was going to die on the beach? When is that going to happen anyhow?

Cut to later on, presumably. Everyone is shitfaced. Like screaming and throwing signs in their underwear. Okay. Kenny and Frank decide to do a little wrestling. Which, with the seedy mattress propped against the wall in the background, and Nehemiah sprawled on a bed in the foreground looking on, is way gay-pornier than any Ryan-Tyler make-out session. So anyway, at some point, the wrestling match turns into them just having their bare legs all entwined. That is, until Kenny yelps and holds his ankle. Shocking, this turn of events. Kenny goes to the hospital, where his ankle looks pretty red and swollen. Back at the house, it appears that Frank has continued drinking, because where at first he seems somewhat concerned for Kenny's well-being, he is now interviewing, crazy-eyed, that if Kenny's ankle is broken, then that's just fine with him.

Commercials. Male Gauntlet day. Kenny interviews that he's not too worried about his ankle being hurt because "I am a machine. A gorgeous machine." Oh, Kenny. You are such a loveable goombah. The Challenge is "Mexican Blanket." The teams start on opposite sides of a course. Each player gets wrapped in a blanket and then they all have to roll past each other to the finish line opposite. The Rookies have the "advantage" again, with fewer players to get across the course.

So everybody gets wrapped up and starts rolling. There's not much to say about all this except that it is inexcusably enjoyable to watch all these idiots squirm around, especially once they start running into each other at the center of the course, a bunch of squirming worms in a big worm pile. So, it's pretty close, even despite the Rookie "advantage" and it's unclear as we go to commercial who's going to win.

Commercials. And, Veterans win. Oh my good God. Yes, quite the "Dream Team," those Rookies. Ryan interviews that he knows he's going in and he wants to go against Nehemiah, since Frank has proven himself to be such a freak for Gauntlets. The Vets deliberate and decide that they, too, want the match-up to be Nehemiah and Ryan. They save Frank, which means the other two boys have to go in against each other. Because there are only three boys left, total, on the Rookie team. May I point out to you that there are ten more episodes of this show? How are they going to fill all that (my) time?

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Real World - Road Rules Challenge




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