Real World - Road Rules Challenge
Cold-Blooded

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Drunken Bee: C+ | Grade It Now!
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Cold-Blooded

We open with Evan and Kenny conspiring, again, about the "fat, ugly" girls. Evan wants to just say "sorry" about it all. Fucking Canuck. Cut over to Frank conspiring with Katie, saying that the Rookies will do almost anything Katie says to ensure that she stays on the Vet team as long as she wants. Way to support smoking as a way of like, Rookies.

Clue. The Vet boys immediately start doing their hair. It's mohawks for everyone, except for CT, who goes for the ponyhawk a la Sanjaya. Super manly, CT. Also super manly? CT's interview that he's been having "a lot of fun, lot of goofin' off, a lot of laughter" on this challenge so far. Oh, now get on with your mom jeans self.

It's a Girls' Gauntlet Challenge, called "Chill Out." Each team has to send players, one by one, into and out of tanks full of ice and freezing cold water. There are multiple rounds, each one forcing players to stay in the freezing water for longer and longer amount of times. Paula interviews to assure us that there are medics on hand to prevent all these retards from acting all retarded and staying in the water until they die. TJ announces that this Challenge is important because for whatever team that wins, their girls are guaranteed a spot in the finals.

Hold on one cotton picking minute here. I hate to burst your bubble, people, but I, like, get paid to watch this show? And so I have a schedule (real work-y like!) of how many more weeks I have to spend prostituting myself to it...and that schedule says there are like nine more weeks. What in hell are they going to do during a nine-week-long Gauntlet? Saw the contestants' toes off one by one until they each cry "uncle"?

Johanna interviews that her great fear is being put into cold places. A rather arcane great fear to have. CT interviews about throwing the mission to get rid of some girls. Excuse me. One girl. Because that one girl is going to make all the difference when it comes to the Gauntlet. CT, it's great that you aren't like making up (or going along with) a manufactured storyline in your interviews because this season has turned out to be such a snooze factory. Evan goes first and says the water is really cold.

Commercials. We return to the cinder block prison of Guantanamo Bay, where the inmates are being water boarded. This rap rock they're playing must really be driving the Muslims crazy. Oh, excuse me! We're just back with a group of low-functioning alcoholics, willingly submerging themselves in freezing water for the chance to take home $563 (after taxes) each. So this Challenge looks really awful. The Vets are dropping like flies, all of them except for Danny whose 'roid rage is apparently activated by contact with ice water. Eric interviews about how horribly his body is reacting to the cold and all I can think is "Oh, really, Eric? How bad do you feel, really? Like, maybe you might die at the end of the episode?"

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Real World - Road Rules Challenge

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