Real World - Road Rules Challenge
Calling it Quits

Episode Report Card
Drunken Bee: C | Grade It Now!
Banana Republic

We open on Kenny and Johanna (hereafter referred to as JaBrohanna) lying in bed talking about how hungry they are. Shots of various cast members doing the vaunted Survivor Jerri "chocolate and peanut butter" fantasies. The camera pans around, attempting to show us how primitive and disgusting their accommodations are. It lands, however, on a bunch of dirty pots left on the stove top, just like there has been in every Real World house in the history of the universe, so I'm not convinced the issue lies with the accommodations, if you get what I mean.

More "hardship." Dave interviews that he has staples in his head. Thanks, Dave. And we finally get past the required two minutes of non-drunk footage and cut to later that evening. Kellyanne and Johnny have some dumb fight over whether Kellyanne is stealing food. The Three Almost Downs (Dave, Abram, Derrick) sit on the steps with personal bottles of wine. Dave wants to know what each of their "significant others" thinks about their living in Panama for a month, unable to call home. I think the answer here is: blissful.

That random guy Dan they picked up in an alley in Panama City drunks around in various shots. Derrick interviews that watching Dan is like turning on the TV and watching someone AWESOME. Oh, D. I can handle meta, but not coming from a lunkhead like you. Dave thinks Dan's drinking problem is his weakness in this competition. Dave tells Bananas and Abram that he wants Dan gone.

Abram explains that they're trying to fill the days at this point, setting crab traps, et cetera. Abram, get out of Robin's pants! I'll reluctantly go on record here saying that stopping taking steroids is definitely one of the better decisions Abram has made. His neck and torso are articulated from one another! A revelation!

Abram interviews about finding fruit in a tree while setting the crab traps. Cut to Abram climbing the tree to try to get some. Cue buzzing on the soundtrack and then watch Abram start screaming and then dive into the water below, apparently getting the shit stung out of him by bees. I can only pray that those aren't steroid bees, and that in the next scene Abram's well-proportioned neck will still be extant.

Commercials. Bananas interviews that all he sees is Abram running by him, swarmed in wasps. Abram interviews that this is the worst pain he's ever felt. Back at the cabins, we get a good look, and it is nasty. He's got a dozen stings all over his chest, and his lip is swollen up into, in the words of the eminent Bananas, about the size of "a testicle on your lip." Dunbar respects how tough Abram is. Which means, I guess, that soon he'll try to take advantage of him sexually? Isn't that how it works in Dunbar's abused/abusive world?

1 2 3 4 5Next

Real World - Road Rules Challenge




Get the most of your experience.
Share the Snark!

See content relevant to you based on what your friends are reading and watching.

Share your activity with your friends to Facebook's News Feed, Timeline and Ticker.

Stay in Control: Delete any item from your activity that you choose not to share.

The Latest Activity On TwOP