Real World - Road Rules Challenge
All Alone

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All Alone

Full disclosure: I do not watch this show. I have never watched this show. I didn't realize this show existed. I didn't know that The Real World was still on the air. Truthfully, I wouldn't recognize anyone who was on it since, oh, say, London. (Yo Jacinda!) I didn't even know what channel MTV lived on in my little television. It's not that I'm too good for this show (I will watch Rock of Love, after all), it's just that I would rather be watching Project Runway. Or Law & Order. Or slamming my head in the car door for an hour. But that's just me. I'm just here to help while Joe R laughs at my suffering.

Wow. Apparently last week's episode proved that girls are crazy. And MTV still blurs out the old American Eagle, which seems mighty unpatriotic to me. This show has a lot of people on it. So, Tori has fallen for Brad. They save bugs together. They lerve each other. The eat in bed together. They want a chance at The Gauntlet. They love each other but that will not prevent them from attempting to win. Solid foundation for any relationship, right?

Melinda announces to Danny that he and his team are going to win every challenge because her team is at a disadvantage because they have fewer members. Rachel agrees with her. Inexplicably, this makes Danny really really mad. Or maybe he is mad because he apparently lives in a laundry pile so large that the garbage heap from Fraggle Rock is jealous. WTF? Doesn't MTV spring for dressers? Or closets? What is wrong with these people? Anyway Danny is mad and he gets in a very edited screaming match with Rachel and then she leaves the room. Another guy in the room jumps up and down with glee. Pretty much looks like a gibbon fight at the monkey house, but with more laundry. Danny and Melinda talk about it and they both interview about how mad they are and how hard it is to be in a relationship.

A group of so-called men stand around the kitchen eating an enormous tub of ice cream without benefit of a spoon. This show is revolting and it is only five minutes in. There is the sound of a product placement to announce the new challenge. A man purportedly named TJ announces that this challenge is a "pole push." Apparently we are supposed to know what that means. Oh, it's as obvious as it sounds. Pick up the pole and push the others out of the ring. There will be boy heats and girl heats. According to Evan, the men are planning on ditching their "nice guy act" and throwing the games to kick the women off. Coral interviews that the guys better not screw with them. I wouldn't screw with her. She is a little frightening. The girls are not looking forward to this pole-pushing at all. Which sounds really dirty. I'm going to go wash my mouth out. Robin explains the rules again. Pole, push.

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Real World - Road Rules Challenge

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