The Others
Theta

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Theta Theta Theta, Can I Help Ya Help Ya Help Ya?

Late night at a sorority house. Four girls walk into it with their arms intertwined like Laverne and Shirley times two. It's Marion, her friend Lara from last week, and two other girls who haven't figured out what a freak Marion is and dumped her yet. Inside, the girls are all scandalized by how downwardly-mobile they were in taking a trip to a karaoke bar (Marion's idea). As they reminisce about their night and how rad-I-cal they all are for going to a karaoke bar, a sorority sister lurks around hoping to join in the conversation. She appears in front of them, and all of a sudden the camaraderie stops. Lara introduces Marion to Jenny, the lurker who has a really flat, pale, boyish face. She looks like Mikey from the Life Cereal commercial in drag. "Marion and I are doing a paper on how ecology impacts foreign policy," says Lara crisply. The girls sort of freeze as if they're waiting for Jenny to leave so they can continue having fun. Jenny gets the message and leaves. "It was nice meeting you," Marion calls out to the fleeing Jenny. The girls go back to their camaraderie and Marion looks pensive.

Later on the porch as Marion is on her way home, Marion asks Lara if Jenny is "okay." "She's just stressin' about school or something," says Lara, and then explains that Jenny is prone to panic attacks so everyone tries not to act weird around her or say the wrong thing in her presence. "I know what you mean," says Marion, probably because she's heard about that whole Pop Rock and Coke episode. The girls say goodnight and as Marion leaves, the camera goes all Blue Velvet against one of the bushes, and there's a whoosh noise as our attention is drawn down, way down to -- Jenny's room. Okay, that camera action would be somewhat compelling if Jenny lived in the basement of the sorority or something, but since we've just seen that her room is on the second floor, it just looks stupid. Jenny sleeps. She's awakened by heavy breathing in the room. Then a voice calls out, "Jenny," and a shadowy figure lunges at her and breaks a hole in the wall.

Hit it, castrated boys' choir. Break it down for me, fellas.

Headquarters D'Others. The Others -- minus Marion, Warren and Blind Ole Albert -- are eating popcorn and having a meeting. Albert's not there because he's visiting a friend in the hospital, not to mention the fact that he's not in the credits and isn't cute at all so they can ditch him whenever. Not that I'm complaining. Warren is "following a lead," and everyone rolls their eyes over Warren's tendency to "follow a lead" even though his leads have saved their asses each and every week. No one knows why Marion isn't there. Satori, who is wearing this Indian print shirt that looks just like a dress my mother used to wear in the mid-seventies (and looked way better in than Satori does in her shirt), says she's getting an image. She draws it, and Miles explains that it's the symbol for "theta," which is a warning for death. Miles then realizes that Marion has been hanging out with a girl from Theta Beta Phi and that's what Satori is picking up on. Satori adds that Marion is thinking of joining that sorority, because Marion is learning all these terrifying things about herself and wants to belong to something. Elmer says something about Marion coming to terms with her powers in her own time. Sometime this TV season, please? My liver can't take much more of this.

Another late-night study session at Theta. Marion is sitting at a big table with all her new sorority friends. "Oh my God," says Marion. "Why didn't anyone stop me before I finished this whole bag of malted [milk] balls?" Lara comforts her by saying, "It's okay, you're among friends." Wow, the writers of this show must have really sat down and had some heart-to-hearts with women while they were writing this episode, because the way these girls are relating to each other is so realistic and heartwarming, I just feel like running out to an all-night drug store and buying myself a big box of maxi-pads with wings -- just to have around, y'know? Everyone goes to bed, but Marion sticks around to help Lara clean up. "Have you ever thought of joining a sorority?" asks Lara and gives Marion a big pitch on joining up with the Thetas. Before Marion can get down on her knees and scream, "Yes! Take me, make me a Theta, I don't have any friends!" a sister comes down and grabs Lara, saying "You better come upstairs."

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The Others

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