The Good Wife
The Next Day

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A+ | 118 USERS: A-
My Bloody Valentine
In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description!


Every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end, or so the poets say. Cary and Alicia are so hype on being "the new Diane and Will" that they are becoming the new Diane and Will, and it ain't pretty. Peter, in an attempt to quash his Marilyn boner, has become 100 percent werewolf monster on Alicia's behalf, and she is loving it.


Diane wakes up looking flawless, because she is totally flawless, and wearing a nightgown like an Elvish princess. She is running hot this morning because -- she thinks -- it's her last-ever case as a regular lawyer.

Diane: "I'm so nervous I got notecards! I am writing things on notecards!"
Kurt: "How many cases have you argued?"
Diane: "423."
Kurt: "So this'll be 424. Think of it that way."
Diane: "I prefer to think of it as pay-as-you-go karma, for marrying a gun nut."
Kurt: "Just don't embarrass yourself."
Diane: "I love these little talks."

Will wakes up under a horrible person, because he is a horrible person when he's in a spiral, and they talk about tattoos while she grinds on his dick in her tattoo studio. I know her name but I feel like pretending I don't, because some people simply don't rate.

Tattoo: "I am like that awful Lisa Edelstein woman you dated, only vastly creepier. I say things like how you should get a tattoo because it quote 'hurts soooo good.'"
Will: "That checks out, sure. You can always judge a book by its cover, and your book reads Fifty Shades Of Cray. An erotic journey into my own self-hatred."
Tattoo: "I like doing naked yoga in my tattoo studio, because I am the worst."
Will: "You absolutely are."

Alicia wakes up looking confused, because she is a confused person who doesn't understand why a lovely dream should be interrupted by the pokings of Grace Florrick, professional poker and irritator.

Alicia: "What is even going on? Did I sleep for a hundred hours?"
Grace: "There's a law firm out in the living room. Poke poke wakey-wakey poke poke."
Alicia: "Quit poking me. You're like the mom today. Or so I would imagine, given that my real mom is a feral wolverine covered in jewels and my mother-in-law is a drunk swamp witch."
Grace, verbatim: "Brush your teeth, and do not lose any more clients."

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The Good Wife




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