Dead Zone
The Man Who Never Was

Episode Report Card
Kim: B- | 2 USERS: A+
The Man Who Never Was

Some news footage plays on a television. The footage shows Johnny besieged by a phalanx of reporters. A talking head comes on and opines that Johnny is "the next link in human evolution." An announcer voice-overs that Johnny has been keeping it on the down-low since his recent abduction, but that his "legions of fans" have been bombarding Faith Heritage Alliance with letters and calls, and that Cleaves Mills is becoming a tourist destination for "looky-loos." Hee! I love that a news reporter said "looky-loos." Pan over to see Bruce and a lady friend (his wife? I just realized I have no idea if he's married, but you think it would have been mentioned) watching the footage. The woman asks Bruce what Johnny is really like. Bruce says that Johnny isn't "the next link in the evolutionary chain," but that he's just a regular guy.

Johnny is sitting at his dining-room table when the gate buzzer rings. Johnny uses his new security system to see that he has a visitor whom he appears to know named Raul, and he buzzes Raul in. Raul turns out to be the grocery delivery guy, and Johnny is really, really happy to see him. They make small talk while Raul unpacks the groceries. Raul announces that he found "those missing capers," explaining that they were delivered to the wrong address. They went to "some old guy named Grissom" who is "a shut-in" and acts like he wants Raul to stick around and play chess. Johnny empathizes, "Yeah, it's a shame when you've got to look forward to getting groceries being delivered to get a little company." Johnny looks down, knowing that he is that guy. Johnny signs for the delivery, and then Raul asks him to sign a copy of a tabloid for his "personal Johnny Smith collection." Raul makes to leave, but the security alarm goes off when he opens the door. Johnny waves Raul out and resets the alarm.

Once Raul is gone, Johnny asks himself, "Dinner for one, Mr. Personality? Defrost a little veal to go with my capers? For a nice piccata? Catch up on the third season of X-Files?" Man, I wish I had the third season of X-Files to look forward to. There's something to be said for being in a coma for a while and then, when you get out, being able to pick and choose only the good TV to watch. Johnny picks up the capers and gets a vision of an old man (played by Robert Culp) wandering around his house and talking to himself, finally asking, "Where have I gone?" Johnny snaps out of it and says that he feels sorry for the old guy and might give him a call. Johnny looks in the mirror and notices that something is missing. Specifically, his left thumb. He just has a nub on his hand. Johnny reacts with horror, and suddenly his left ring finger is missing as well. Johnny closes his eyes and tells himself it's a vision, but when he opens his eyes again, his right ring and pinky finger are gone. Johnny picks up the phone and uses one of his few remaining fingers to call 911. Suddenly, the hand holding the phone disappears and the phone drops to the floor. The operator picks up and Johnny drops to the floor. Johnny yells that he needs help, because he's disappearing. An overhead shot reveals that both of Johnny's arms and legs are gone. He should change his name to Matt. The operator asks Johnny if he's taken any drugs. Heh. Johnny continues to ask for help, but all that's left of him is his head on the floor. Finally, Johnny snaps out of it and comes to, still holding the capers. He checks to make sure all of his parts are there (they are), and tries to shake off that creepy, creepy vision.

Johnny visits his doctor. He explains that he's worried about synaptic deterioration and a number of other brain problems. The doctor guesses that Johnny has been looking things up online again, and tells him that his brain hasn't changed. She thinks that his vision triggered some anxiety, and that he needs to get out of the house and have some fun, because "it's hard to disappear when you're around people." Johnny agrees and asks if she has any plans that night. She apologizes and says she does, but asks him to try again sometime. She says that Johnny must have someone who would enjoy his company. Johnny says he actually does.

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Dead Zone




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