Book of Daniel

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Daniel and Father Frank continue their conversation from last week about whether Daniel will agree to hire the Mafia-adjacent Vaporelli Construction to build the new school in order to get the stolen money back. Daniel says that he can't be in league with criminals, and Frank reminds Daniel that Charlie, a criminal, got Daniel into this mess in the first place. Daniel wants to talk to the Vaporellis and explain everything, which makes Frank chuckle, but he agrees. Daniel promises not to forget the favor Frank did, and Frank advises Daniel to forget it immediately, since a priest doesn't really need more "political problems."

Daniel uses one of those fancy TV computers (you know, the ones that can pull up what are apparently PDF files of news articles from years past without paying a subscription fee, and in a large enough typeface that the viewers can read the headlines easily) to pull up articles about all the criminal trouble the Vaporellis have been in over the years. Jesus looks over Daniel's shoulder. I hate when people do that while I'm on the computer. Or reading the paper. Or at any time, really. Mind your beeswax, Jesus! Daniel hopes that Jesus will have some advice, but Jesus thinks that there "really isn't any upside here."

In the bathroom, Daniel shakes a Vicodin out of the pill bottle and asks Jesus how he's supposed to tell Bishop Burstyn that the Mob has the church's money. Jesus suggests telling the truth. Daniel isn't a fan, and suggests lying, since it worked out for Judas. Jesus makes a funny "Eh, not so much" face as Judith calls for Daniel from the other room. He finds her, and Judith reports that they don't own their home because her mother never signed over the deed. Daniel is shocked, and realizes that this means they can't take out a mortgage. Judith insists that she'll figure something out so that Daniel can get the money for the school, and that her "sociopathic mother" won't control what they do. Daniel tells Judith that the money has been found. Judith is thrilled, and asks some questions about it. Daniel advises her not to ask questions, and explains a little about hiring Vaporelli. Judith is appalled, but Daniel says their options right now are hiring Vaporelli, or having Judith beg her mother, and he sees both as equally bad. He makes Judith promise not to involve her mother, and she promises, while crossing her fingers behind his back. Do people over the age of ten really cross their fingers when making a promise they don't intend to keep? Like if you do it, don't you just kind of mentally cross your fingers? Do you actually physically do it, still? Because it seems like a good way to get busted.

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Book of Daniel




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