The Blacklist
The Alchemist

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A+ | 49 USERS: A-
YOU GRADE IT
Don't Take Him Just Because You Can
Liz: "Okay, we traced that bar code sticker to a paper company, which led us to a Zurich bank, which means the number is part of his bank accounts..."
Red: "Nope, you're taking too long. Let me just get good and Red on you real quick by asking the same question a million times. Who is he?"
Liz: "A scientist that does DNA stuff and..."
Red: "Who is he?"
Liz: "A paid underworld scrubber who..."
Red: "Who is he?"
Liz: "Oh! It's a sticker from a DNA sequencer. Thanks for asking me the same question over and over so I would randomly figure out the next thing."

THE PO

Ressler: "[Audrey talk.]"
Liz: "Okay, meanwhile I traced this number -- enhance, enhance -- to a DNA sequencer that will lead us to companies, for some reason, that will help us do something."

THE ALCHEMIST

Puts on a happy smile and, rifling through headshots, calls a girl named Mandy for an audition, because she looks like the next client (which is his wife, because he has finally lost his marbles for good). Guess what, it is not really an acting job. Or should I say, it is the acting job of her life! (She is going to die from it.)

When Mandy arrives to the spooky location, he pretends to also be an aspiring actor who is also stymied by the lack of casting agents at the spooky location. He offers to split a cab with her, but what he really means is "knock her out and turn her into his wife and then murder her."

JOLENE

Some chick whose name is not Jolene practices saying her name is Jolene, and then heads out to be a big honkin' problem in Tom Keen's marriage. Is she the Lucy person from before? Is Audrey a spy also? Is everybody spies? I am so confused by this show and everything that happens on it. Anyway, we're going to call her Jolene either way. She has got the crazy eyes.

KEEN BABY SHOWER

Tom takes on a diaper changing competition with the other daddies, women laughing knowingly. (Men doing such pathetic women's work? Hilarious!) It's all very patronizing and heterosexual and you really feel the weight of being in that room with everybody acting hysterical and/or barren and/or trying to hold their own experiences of parenthood over the heads of the people without children, as though the fact of their children make them more righteous or wiser individuals.

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The Blacklist

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