The Blacklist
The Alchemist

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A+ | 49 USERS: A-
Don't Take Him Just Because You Can

However, because this show is never content with Liz just being her natural, actual amount of awesome, she decides to drop her guns and walk in there unarmed so she can yammer the Alchemist into submission. What results then is a shootout that kills the Alchemist instantly, but also gravely wounds the little girl, who is having -- it must be said -- quite an alarming day.


Tom is sad when Liz calls in, but not so sad that he can't get it up for more pissy-pants dramatics.

Liz: "Please tell me you didn't cook! I would have to inconvenience you by getting stuck in a four-way shootout with a SWAT team, an evil super-scientist, a concealed-carry gun nut, and several innocents and witnesses!"
Tom: "No, I didn't cook, because I knew you would fuck it up. (PS, he totally did, but why give up the emotional match point that easily?)"
Liz: "Well, isn't that flattering."
Tom: "I have so many feelings!"
Liz: "I will bring home Chinese. It's #6 on my speed dial so it will be no trouble."
Tom: "You do whatever the hell you want. I am going to an art exhibition about adultery with a hot-to-trot single lady named Jolene."


Ressler: "Well, I decided what I'm gonna do about Audrey."
Liz: "I'm dying to find out what you've decided because I am such a good friend."
Ressler: "I am going to tell her it's a huge mistake! Because of love."
Liz: "I'm impressed. I wish either person in my marriage were that invested."
Aram: "Hey, I found that list of criminals that I already found."


Liz: "Here's that list of criminals the Alchemist disappeared."
Red: "Thanks, bye!"
Liz: "Did you really just do this so you could get more names?"
Red: "No, I did it to help you feel better about yourself as an FBI agent. Don't be an asshole, Lizzy."
Liz: "Are you looking for anybody in particular? Can you give me like one interesting detail to make me feel less like I possibly just sacrificed my marriage for no real reason?"
Red: (Already bailed while she was talking. The reason is that he has to go to the Mole's house and sit in the dark, for maximum drama when they get home.)


Ressler: "This is me choking. Good luck on your marriage."

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The Blacklist




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