Season 18, Episode 6

Episode Report Card
Lauren S: F | 41 USERS: D
Double the Standards, Double the Fun!

This week, on The Adventures of the Bachelor Who is Turning Less Likable By The Episode: Juan Pablo and his eight-woman harem head to New Zealand where the girls can cry some more over the guy who falls in love with whoever is in front of him at any given second. Clare is still feeling weird about what happened in Vietnam and hopes for the one-on-one date but it goes to Andi, the only one of the remaining girls who hasn't yet had one. Cassandra is jealous of Andi and she and Renee have some time together to commiserate about how hard it is to be away from their kids while taking a chance on loooove.

Before JP and Andi's date, he interviews basically exactly the same thing he says before every single date or interaction with any one of the women: she's great, he feels a connection, this is going to be a great date, blah blah blah. The two of them go on a speedboat down the river, and Andi gushes about how great it is that no one else is around. You know, other than the boat driver. And the camera crew. JP tells us that they are going to something called, "The Squeeze," which is appropriately named it's a spot where you have to wade through freezing water and squeeze yourself in between giant moss-covered boulders. Nothing says romance like claustrophobia and the chills!

Andi handles it quite well, actually, and tells us she likes being taken care of by this guy who is helping her over rocks and whatnot. Seriously, that's the kind of thing any two people would be doing for each other in this treacherous terrain, but hey, let's call it romantic. The reward at the end of The Squeeze is a warm waterfall in a sort of cave, where the JP and Andi make out in the water like they're starring a cheesy music video.

Their dinner that night is at a table set up right in front of a geyser. The two canoodle and eat, but Andi doesn't have much more to say than that she's really starting to fall for him, and JP says she's really cool and fun, like he does about all of these girls. They then turn and watch the water shooting out of the ground which is all fun until a spout shoots up right next to them and they get drenched. Somehow, this seems to be a really big surprise even though their table was set up basically on top of a geyser.

Back at the house, the group date card arrives and calls on Sharleen, Chelsie, Renee, Nikki, Kat and Cassandra -- Cassandra is pissed since the next day is her 22nd birthday and she wanted some alone time with JP, but Clare is beside herself when she realizes she's got the other solo outing. Clare says she's worried and not sure he wants her there but she's beaming -- a meaner person than me might say gloating in that annoying, coy way girls have -- out of every pore.

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