Winning By a Nose

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Donald Trump Smells

When asked to assess his team, Arsenio brings up how Teresa ran around in her heels like a champ. This gives Trump an excuse to enthuse about Teresa's tenacity and her hustle. He thinks she's been "underrated" this season, which is so perfectly Trump in that it is based on absolutely nothing that he has witnessed. He does mention that he heard all about Teresa's Real Housewives exploits from Melania (his wife, not Teresa's daughter; Trump won't end up marrying Teresa's daughter for at least another 10-15 years).

Trump has the teams examine each other's work. Forte is impressed (and perhaps a bit shamed?) by Unanimous's "takeaway" (their handout/smell strip combination). Arsenio compliments the print ad, with Dayana and the male model, which gives Aubrey the opportunity to pipe up about THEIR model, Eric Trump. She even kisses Donald's ass by joking that she adjusted Eric's hairline in the silhouette because she's prefers the elder Trump's follicular abomination. Eric the presses Aubrey about the "one-man team" comments, and while she says "my team did not not help," she insists she was responsible for the whole product. Arsenio is reluctant to complain (he really doesn't want to repeat that ugly boardroom scene), but he says he doesn't like being "minimized." He talks about how he looked up the Trump quote for the slogan, but Aubrey quickly says she came up with "trust your instincts" first. It's an odd argument in that you'd think the order of how the slogan was arrived upon would be easy to remember, but neither one of them seems to lay it out that way. Arsenio doesn't entirely do himself a ton of favors when he talks about finding other Trump quotes that he also liked, including one about trusting one's gut (which is actually terrible and doesn't speak well of Arsenio if he liked that for a slogan; "gut" should not be anywhere near a fragrance ad). In assessing the other team's ad, Aubrey sniffs at their traditional approach. Lots of colognes from celebrities and rock stars feature "a hot girl oogling over a guy in a suit," she says. One day I'll get sick of dumb jerks mispronouncing words while they're trying to be awful about something. Not today. Aubrey says her idea was, like Trump, more "forward-thinking."

Eric and George sums up what the execs liked and didn't like about each team's display. For Forte, they loved the image (though they thought it was too big, which I think is a pretty BS concern). They didn't love the slogan (calling it "pompous") and the fact that said slogan wasn't very prominent on the display ("This food is terrible! And such small portions!"). Trump says, since the execs liked the photo best, that Dayana was clearly the star. Which, seriously, makes Trump a fucking idiot, though not in any way surprising. It's not like the celebrity version of this show pretends very much that it's looking to crown a superior businessperson, but still, crediting Dayana for basically being the model in a photo shoot is awfully rich. Meanwhile, Penn owns the slogan, pompous though it may be.

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