Winning By a Nose

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Donald Trump Smells

Previously: Lisa's outbursts turned toward the bipolar and nobody really wanted to talk about it. Aubrey went along to get along but made sure to throw as many secret barbs toward Arsenio in interviews as possible. Paul kind of didn't do anything while Teresa's massive intellectual deficits lost their team the puppet challenge, and Paul was fired. Also, Teresa's surname continues to acquire extra syllables like Trump acquires ex-wives.

Post-Pinkslip Aftermath:
When Aubrey and Teresa return sans Paul, Arsenio is bumming. For one, he liked Paul. For another, now he's stuck with Aubrey and Teresa. Aubrey, meanwhile, makes it clear to the audience at home that she doesn't have anyone's back. Good to know! It seems that after the fight with Arsenio a few weeks ago, Aubrey decided that she would play nice during the tasks but remove any shred of decency when talking behind everyone else's backs. It's...certainly something to watch.

The Task:
The teams are asked to assemble at Trump's abhorrent gold-bricked apartment, which Aubrey says "feels like wealth," like Charlie and Chocolate Factory but with gold. I think she's trying to be ass-kissy when she says this, if you can imagine that.

"EVERYBODY KNOWS I LOVE MACY'S DEPARTMENT STORES!" Trump booms as an introduction. Okay. He's launching a new fragrance called "Success by Trump" (if I'm going to pause to roll my eyes about something being self-aggrandizing and pompous, I'll never finish this thing, so just assume that I think so). The teams need to create an in-store display and slogan, and they'll be judged by the creativity of said slogan, the brand messaging, and the in-store display. Judges: Trump, Eric, and the triumphantly returning old crank George Ross. Project Managers: Aubrey and Clay, that latter taking the mantle after Penn basically abdicates. Clay won his previous PM duel with Aubrey, it's noted. Trump says the winning team gets $20,000, but if Trump reeeeeeally likes their work, he'll award $100,000.

Team Unanimous:
Aubrey thinks this is a must-win situation for her, so you can imagine what a nightmare she's going to be. They banter about "what success means," and Aubrey gets all sanctimonious about how success isn't about money like Arsenio thinks. She says Arsenio pitched ideas about money, women, and power, but "Trump has never been one to be simple" about that version of success. HAHAHAHA. No, sorry, did you come to that conclusion before or after you exited his GOLD-PLATED APARTMENT? Arsenio clocks Aubrey trying to make herself look awesome in front of the Macy's execs, but he doesn't seem to have the energy for a fight so whatever.

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