Apprentice
Wheeling & Dealing

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Miss Alli: B | Grade It Now!
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Troy cringes at the magnitude of the loss. He openly admits that they just never thought of advertising. Trump presents VersaCorp -- including Katrina, who is still making a bitchface, because I think seeing Bill be right actually pisses her off so much that she'd rather lose -- with a ride around Manhattan on a yacht. He turns back to Protégé. "At this stage of your job interview, I am not impressed...I may just fire all of you." Wooo, mass firing! Now that would be a twist.

VersaCorp goes yachting. Boyfriend Bill gets to steer for a few minutes. Manhattan is very pretty. The Statue of Liberty makes us all proud. There is toasting. When they get to the part of the ride where there are snacks, Amy wants to feed the snack to Nick. Ew. Katrina interviews that Nick and Amy have this weird, twisted flirtation going on, and she's not sure which of them is playing the other one. It's quite brilliant how a white truck labeled "TIME" is literally barreling toward Katrina from behind as she's doing this interview. It catches up with us all eventually, sweetie. "I think Amy thinks she's playing Nick," Katrina offers. "But I think in the end, Nick'll win." Of course. Because Katrina isn't jealous of Nick. We observe a conversation with Nick in which Amy, as "smart" as she's supposed to be, hauls out perhaps one of the biggest clichés in the Flirty-Flirty Catalogue, which is "I just think that you're hard to read." He agrees. All bad flirting, I find, is premised on some version of "you're hard to read." Everyone likes to think of himself or herself as too complicated for regular people to really understand, and so it is the sincerest form of, um, flirt-ery to say something along the lines of, "I know you are complicated; I am complicated also." Whatever. I bet Jessica Simpson called Nick Lachey "hard to read" at some point, too. Although, of course, Jessica thinks stop signs are hard to read...I think I'm losing the point.

Anyway, Nick and Amy are flirting. He tells her he's a little intimidated by her. She likes the sound of this. "I think so," she says. "I am a little," he says, very earnestly. "Are you being sarcastic?" she asks. "Yeah, one hundred percent," he says, and laughs, which is really assy, but makes me laugh anyway, because it makes Amy put this really peevish expression on her face. Nick interviews that Amy's "a very, very strong player," and that it's "good to be semi-aligned with her, 'cause she's very, very sharp." Wow, "semi-aligned." Quite an outpouring of emotion, there, Nick. I hope that, someday, some wonderful guy will ask me to be "semi-aligned." Back in their little chat, Amy tells him that she's not feeling competitive; she's "still in partnership mode." Then we cut directly to an interview in which she says, "Not only have I had ten consecutive wins; my goal at this point in time is now to make it to the end without ever losing." She is so losing next week. At least I hope she is.

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Apprentice

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