Apprentice
Wheeling & Dealing

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Miss Alli: B | Grade It Now!
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Back at S4, Kwame answers the phone, and after last week's big thigh promotion, we are treated this to week's arm promotion, featuring Kwame's giant shoulder. I have such a well-established shoulder fetish at this point that I would almost take that as a shout-out, but...I won't. Robin tells Kwame on the phone that they need to meet Trump at 9:30 AM, across from the Plaza Hotel, at a stand where there are rickshaws. There's even more naked Kwame upper body action as he preens in front of the mirror and voices over about how they're "geared up" and ready to go. Bill says something about "bring it on" as we watch him shaving, and while shaving is often kind of hot, I must note that Bill is doing that speed-shaving thing that Kyan is always complaining about, so that's one demerit for him. Don't cut yourself, Boyfriend Bill.

The candidates all stroll out of Trump Tower together some time later. They go and wait by a bunch of bicycle rickshaws ("pedicabs," if you prefer), and Donald drives up. He exits the limo. He throws a little half-smile at the candidates when he first sees them, and you can kind of tell as that he wants to say, "Yeah, I fired her. You all owe me a yooge debt of gratitude." What he actually tells them, though, is that "transportation in New York City is a basic disaster." Wait...it is? I don't think I've ever come back from being in New York without bubbling over with happiness about how easy it is to get everywhere, and how you can walk everywhere without being run over and you can take the subway everywhere and it is literally the easiest city to get around that I have ever been in. Now, granted, I'm usually fairly Manhattan-centric, and I don't know how much more complicated it becomes if you live there and have to deal with it more long-term and get to more places, but I still think "a basic disaster" is a little bit of an overstatement. ["If he'd said something more like 'traffic in New York City is a basic disaster,' yeah, no argument there. Above-ground/vehicular transportation is a horror show; I don't think he was counting public transit." -- Sars] Moreover, I don't really think that "transportation" has much to do with the task they're about to do, as I don't think bicycle rickshaws are really the answer to anyone's transportation problems, so much as they are a solution to boredom when it's a nice day outside. But anyway, he explains that each team will be operating a fleet of pedicabs for one eight-hour shift. The shift will be tomorrow, and for that shift, the team has to do all it can to maximize the profit from the fleet. At the end of the day, the winners will win, and the losers will lose. Carolyn, by the way, looks totally gorgeous with her super-blonde hair and her lavender sweater. For reasons I will get to later, take a moment to appreciate that Carolyn is truly, utterly gorgeous, and that without the Carol Brady hair, she would be six times as hot as any of the women on this team.

Anyway, Protégé takes a walk and talks about ideas. Heidi interviews that they made Troy the PM, and it's going in perfect order -- she was the PM, and then Kwame, and then Troy. See, perfect! It's not at all relevant that this is Troy's third shot as PM, and Heidi's only done it once. She's not avoiding responsibility at all. Noooope. Troy says, "So we could have two teams, because we have one rickshaw thing that would be, like, us being the celebrity rickshaw." And I think that explains why Kwame spent time on the thing -- the dossier isn't public yet, but I think one of them was required to actually drive one of the rickshaws for a certain period of time. Same reason Amy and Katrina were doing it for the other team. I think it was a requirement that they actually pedal one themselves -- it makes for far better television, so I'd actually be shocked if that weren't the case. Kwame says that they had to try to think up an angle that went beyond just "running rickshaws around the city." They decide to brainstorm. I'm sure that will be quite the tsunami. As they sit around and talk, Troy's big idea is a prepaid punch card, so you'd buy ten rickshaw rides at a shot. He says in an interview that this was his "creative idea" -- to buy rides in bulk from the rickshaw company owner, basically, and then resell them in bunches of ten. They agree that they might be able to sell these cards at the "fancy hotels" around Central Park and the like. Troy tells the team, "We just won, you guys." He is very confident that there are a lot of people who only don't ride in bicycle rickshaws more often because it's too inconvenient to buy the rides one at a time.

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