Wheeling & Dealing

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Miss Alli: B | Grade It Now!
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After the commercials, Donald talks to the viceroys about who should stay and who should go. George thinks that Heidi didn't do much, but Troy, as PM, had an idea that wasn't very creative. Trump turns to Carolyn. "I think it might not have been a great idea," she says, "but at least he came up with something. I have yet to see Heidi really come up with something. I think she's riding on the coattails of everybody else." Trump asks her the dumb-ass question, "Is that woman-on-woman...that's tough stuff, right?" She says, "It is tough stuff, but I've seen nothing out of her. At least Troy, you know, has the guts enough to come and say, you know, 'This was my idea, this was what I planned, and it failed, yes, it's failed, I'm accountable.'" Trump says he takes this to mean that Carolyn thinks Heidi should go. Heh. Carolyn says yes. Trump has Robin call them in.

They return to the Boardroom. Trump asks Troy why he should stay. "Leaders are born, they're not made," he says. He thinks that "if you're a born leader and it's in your genes, then you can build off of that." Does Troy think he's a born leader? Why, yes -- yes, he does. Trump asks whether Troy thinks born leaders habitually call themselves born leaders. Ooh, burn. Troy says yes, and quite fearlessly, too. Trump asks him again why he should stay. Troy says that although some of the tasks have failed, his team has made him the PM three times. Ooh, good point. Especially since Heidi has conspicuously been PM only once. He may have had to adjust to this head-on competition with Heidi pretty quickly, but it didn't take him long. Troy says that he takes risks, and he's not cautious. Asked whether Heidi is good, he says she is -- "she's a good salesperson." Trump asks if she's a good leader. Troy repeats that she's a good salesperson. Heh. Heidi frowns. Carolyn smiles.

Trump now asks Carolyn to repeat what she said before about Heidi. Carolyn says that she simply feels she has yet to see anything from Heidi. Heidi's response, of course, is "you're entitled to your opinion," which you can say one of two ways -- respectfully, or the way Heidi does it. Carolyn says that Heidi never has anything to say when she's on the losing team -- she just nods and goes along and blames whoever made the decisions. Heidi again says that Carolyn is entitled to her opinion, and Carolyn points out that she certainly is entitled to her opinion, and her opinion matters, since this is a job interview and everything. Heidi blows her off, complete with everything short of a true eye-roll, as she says that she doesn't agree with Carolyn's assessment. Heidi also calls herself "feisty," which you absolutely cannot do except ironically. I've been known to call myself feisty, but only when I'm mocking the way other people respond to me. It's not something I actually use to promote myself. Trump asks her if she thinks she did a better job than Troy, and she says she did. He asks her why she should stay, as opposed to Troy. And seriously, of all the times I've seen people on this show have no answer for things, I've never seen anybody caught quite as flat-footed as Heidi was by this question. She just repeats that she's a leader and says again that she's feisty. Oh, and she really wants to be here. Trump wonders whether all the same things couldn't be said of Troy? (Hee, Troy is feisty.) Heidi agrees that they could be. So why should she stay? "Because," Heidi says, "as she [dismissive tossing of chin toward Carolyn] says, she has yet to see me, she thinks I haven't done anything." Oh, there's a good argument.

Heidi changes course one more time, paddling for her life, talking about how she wants to prove herself and can be a leader if given the opportunity. Carolyn goes in for the kill, asking whether she made any sort of a move to be PM on this task. Heidi admits that she didn't, "because [they] went in turns." "But he's three, you're one," Carolyn says. See? I mean, if you were waiting for Carolyn to scream at her, that didn't happen. But Carolyn was merciless in this discussion in noticing and calling out every flaw in Heidi's efforts to defend herself. Heidi has to admit that indeed, Troy has been PM thrice, and she has done it only once. Carolyn goes on to say that she thinks Heidi's giving up too much power if she really wants to be a leader -- or is she setting up Troy by letting him be the PM? See? See how she brings out everything Heidi thinks she's getting away with? It's delightful. (By the way, Heidi apparently all but called Carolyn an "idiot" in her interviews after she was off the show, so if you're looking for more of that patented Heidi class, there you go.) Heidi wiggles some more, but Trump points out to her that everyone has said Troy is a good leader. Even Heidi. She agrees. No one thinks Heidi is a good leader. She has nothing to say. George tells both Troy and Heidi that he hasn't seen a "spark" from either of them that would suggest they'd be good executives. Troy is called out for "hedging" the question of who he thought should go. Troy says he was just trying to explain the decision. "It was a long, boring explanation, and I didn't want to hear it," Trump says brusquely. That is why this show is so damn brilliant. Nobody says to Rupert, "You are an obnoxious, self-important blowhard, and your fishing skills aren't what you think." Nobody says to Heather and Eve, "If you don't know that 'walk' doesn't include 'ride in a taxi,' then you're not smart enough to be attorneys. Or mammals." But here, Trump just shrugs and says, "You bore me." It's kind of brilliant, really.

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