Apprentice
Wheeling & Dealing

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Miss Alli: B | Grade It Now!
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Previously on Repeated Scans Of The Patient's Head Showed Nothing: VersaCorp swept Amy back into its loving arms, saving her from spending another three days tending to Assorama's massive head wound. Trump wasn't sure that continuing to give Amy all the power was such a great idea, but she's the cutest, dammit -- ask her yourself. Teams had to choose an artist whose work they could sell, and while VersaCorp chose the lovely and simple paintings of Andrei the "abstract nature-based painter," Protégé chose the psychiatrically diagnosable works of Meghan the "somewhat crazy Photoshop freakazoid with a possible incest fixation and some weird-ass thing about frogs." Assorama and Heidi bickered about lunch, and Heidi did her usual "here a 'fuck,' there a 'fuck,' everywhere a 'fuck fuck'" thing as Assorama insisted that she had to sit down right this minute or she would drop dead on the spot. with parts of her brain leaking out onto the sidewalk through the hole punched in her skull by The World's Deadliest Piece of Drywall. At the gallery, VersaCorp sold several of Andrei's paintings, while Protégé (in the form of Assorama) sold exactly one "Hollowed Pussy" and settled for so little money that it barely paid for the therapy it will take to recover from looking at the "art" in the first place. Heidi's mom still had cancer. In the Boardroom, PM Kwame brought Assorama and Heidi to the final table, and Trump, like the rest of America, had finally had enough of Assorama. He booted her ass and sent her back to run the country or whatever she was doing before she came on the show. There was much rejoicing. Who will be fired this week?

Credits. What if you could have it all? And by "all," I mean the opportunity to prove your business acumen by posing without your clothes on in men's magazines? Just a little hint? "My brain comes as a free bonus when you buy my boobs" is not the world's most convincing way to get people to recognize your substantive accomplishments. Oh what a world we live in, indeed.

S4. Aspiring Corporate Weasel Death Watch. Troy explains to the group that Assorama was "playing a very defensive game." Troy explains how the team had to go to the Boardroom, and how he and Kwame have been a team from the beginning. "I was so anxious for him to come back," Troy says. Boyfriend Bill asks whether Trump asked who the weakest person was, and Troy confirmed that he did. Katrina snots in an interview that she would fire Assorama. "I don't agree with the way she conducts business and the way she carries herself," Katrina says. Her dingy yellow cowl-necked sweater, combined with her unappealing slouch, makes her look like a mustard bottle. She is missing only a pointy red hat. That is not a good color for her. Back in S4, Nick and Amy lounge around, waiting for the return of whomever. The door opens. It's Heidi! And Kwame! The girls go, "Eeeeee!" and hug, and Kwame and Troy have a heartfelt handshake. No hugging for them. Heidi interviews that everyone just kind of went, "Oh. Omarosa's gone. Yaaaaay!" She jumps up and down. It's a little bit funny, except that she's so obnoxious herself that I can't really share in the celebration. Amy tells Protégé that their team is stronger now that Assorama is gone. In an interview, Kwame says he's not so sure about that. Assorama may have brought drama and conflict, but she was another person and another head for the tasks, so he's not sure they're actually stronger. "Who knows how it weighs out in the end?" he says. Kwame, it's no fun for me when you're diplomatic. Plus, I don't really know how it "weighs out" for them -- I only care about myself, the viewer. Me, the Viewer! I rule! And I wanted her gone, so that's all there is to that, as far as I'm concerned.

It is night. It is morning. An acoustic guitar invites us to float free of the cold world of business and merchandising as we see the remaining candidates snoozing. Troy is actually in bed with his cowboy hat over his face. Does he really sleep that way? Because...wow. I didn't think you had to do that unless you were actually out on the range watching for coyotes. (And yes, please pronounce that "kye-otes.") Heidi, on the other hand, is awake and getting ready to go out. We watch her put on her makeup, and then she's walking up to the Hackensack University Medical Center. She says that she went to visit her mom, who is in the hospital, although we do not (mercifully) go inside the hospital. We just see Heidi meet up with her sister, who tells her that Mom is fine and takes Heidi inside. Apparently, Mom's surgery was very successful, and Mom is doing well. We wrap up the moral very quickly, as Heidi tells us that she now has been reminded that the game isn't the most important thing in life, yadda yadda yadda. "My family comes above anything," she reassures us. "You have to prioritize what's impor-ant." And one of the things that's "impor-ant" to Heidi is dropping the "t" in the middle of that word and replacing it with a full stop. Even though I grew up in the Philadelphia area, I can't really do the accent, but I do recognize that one. Makes me want a cheesesteak. Anyway, Heidi loves her family, and the acoustic guitar strums, "Word."

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