Apprentice
The First Leaf That Hits the Ground

Episode Report Card
Carla Sparks: B- | 1 USERS: C+
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The Coolest Guy On the Beach

Finally, the "silent movies" are presented to the executives, in a full-on screening room. Gary's team is first, and Gary makes the wise move of bringing the stuffed koala bear in with them. Stephen thinks it's a stupid idea, but I know how these Celebrity Apprentice executives work by now. It's a good idea.

The executives are charmed by Gary Busey, this man-baby making a practical mockery of their product. They sit back and watch the commercial, and Gary watches the executives. Gary thinks the executives love it, but they probably love that celebrities gave it a good ol' college try. The film is stupid and doesn't make sense. Why is Gary Busey turning around, holding bronzer? Why is the bronzer cock-blocking this beach-loving guy, who is trying to get a tan much-older woman into the sun?

In the presentation, Gary makes two things abundantly clear: Sydney Koala is important, and he will terrify the executives into liking his team the best.

Team Power presents next. Trace asks them to imagine a world without Australian Gold. This "film," as opposed to Gary's team's spot, has titles explaining the action. It tells a cute, very quick story, and hardly features the product, but at least makes a bit more sense. My boyfriend, suffering through this episode with me, points out that both videos are "wretched piles of shit."

Donald Trump meets with Katie, Miss Unblinking America, and Eric, whoever the hell that is. Katie, wide-eyed to the point of intimidation, tells Donald the teams did great. Trace's team had focus and "grasped the concept." Eric agrees with Katie. Katie says Gary's team had a lot of creativity and they liked Lisa. Donald Trump brings up Lisa Rinna's lips, yet again, because he's a complete asshole without anyone to keep him in check anymore. Eric agrees with whatever is being said.

"So both teams did an incredible job," Donald Trump paraphrases incorrectly. Then, he asks Eric, of all people, who the winner is. Like Eric even knows what's going on. He has stared into Katie's Jafar-snake-staff too long to experience free will.

In the boardroom, it is clear that Gary has still latched on to Sydney the Koala as an item of importance, and didn't pay much attention to who was doing what on his team. Everyone treats Gary like a child, and congratulates him for tying his shoes. Compliments of Trace's team are interrupted by Donald Trump noting how hot his daughter Ivanka is looking.

Donald shows the teams each other's commercials, oops I mean films. It's confirmed, they are both garbage. The less garbagey commercial belongs to Trace's team. They are permitted to retire to the penthouse to watch Gary Busey confuse the Trump family.

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Apprentice

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