The Final Showdown

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: B+ | Grade It Now!
Lesson Twelve: The Customer Is Always "Right"

Next morning, as they're getting themselves together, Randal interviews that he's still kind of having trouble thinking of this as a competition, that he still thinks of Rebecca as a sister and it's a difficult headspace. I love Randal, because we totally get this, don't we? Yeah, it's tough, and gross, and you have to do it. Everybody thinks they're an adult until they have to cram two weeks of processing into twenty minutes of love/hate/rise above. Worst thing in the world, especially when you are sleep-deprived and have been constantly on for what, eleven weeks now? We cut to what you might think is a parallel interview moment, where Rebecca is talking about how she's ten years younger than Randal but still his equal in every way and how she will be taking him down. To underscore the deal here, love v. destruction, he's wearing a white suit and she's wearing a black suit, and I can't choose between them.

In the Boardroom, Randal pulls out her chair -- Trump remarks on this -- and they smile and attempt to look bright-eyed for him, but they look completely sleepy. Trump makes a big deal about explaining that the Viceroys are both at "business meetings" and will be catching up with the teams later, and then asks how they're feeling. Broken and worn out, of course, but instead we get the usual. Randal's feeling "very good Mr. Trump" and most especially about his "excellent record," which includes three wins, zero losses, the respect of everyone in the universe, and all this with a dead grandmother, whose memory he has honored while staying completely on task. Rebecca feels like she has a broken ankle but is still here. She's "still here, Mr. Trump" and she's "here to win" and she's "still here." Trump -- in recognition of the fact that this weird little speech, while just as disingenuous and fakely "off the cuff" as Randal's, was not as good -- makes Randal agree with him that most people would have left in face of such a horrible disfigurement as a broken ankle. She nods, noting that she's "still here, Mr. Trump."

Trump tells them that their next task will be "twice as difficult as anything" they've done thus far. If you're wondering, Rebecca is still there as he says this. They'll be managing all aspects of two huge charity events. Rebecca's task is an All-Star Comedy Benefit with Yahoo! for the Elizabeth Glaser Pediatric AIDS Foundation, starring many comedians, plus Joe Piscopo and his whole bag of bullshit. Meanwhile, Randal will be working with Outback Steakhouse on a VIP Softball Challenge to benefit Autism Speaks at Keyspan Park on Coney Island. They'll have to deal with the corporate sponsors, the charities themselves, organize the event including budget and staff, and throw a VIP party, and will judged based on "attendee experience." His voice gets louder all through this until he's just fucking screaming at them. It's so obnoxious.

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