The Final Showdown

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: B+ | Grade It Now!
Lesson Twelve: The Customer Is Always "Right"

Randal explains that he has not considered all possible scenarios "that might unfold," and Rebecca hums at him, hmmm, a "tut-tut" kind of hum, narrows her eyes, takes a sip of wine, looks over at the Viceroys. I propose marriage, causing Carolyn to challenge me to a duel for Rebecca's honor. Rebecca interviews that Chris is important to both of them, that he was taken off the board too early, that his full "horsepower" has not been "unleashed." As we'll see, this is because of a seriously regrettable lack of leather bars in East Texas. Randal floats that they'll have to negotiate for Chris, and Rebecca jumps: "So you'd give up Josh for Chris?" and of course he's like, "No, no no no," because they both know they'd want Josh over anybody else anyway, so they laugh because they already know this. They're both on the same wavelength, about all of it, so it's mostly for effect, like she's putting all her cards on the table and daring him to do the same, but this is just theatre, because they both know all the cards were really already there. Carolyn and George being there...they've coughed on the petri dish of these negotiations. I wouldn't change it for the world, because Carolyn is being outstandingly appealing, but I wonder how this would have gone if Rebecca didn't have to be the Greek chorus here and explain the mind-meld play-by-play for George and Carolyn. If it were just the two of them. Probably boring, actually, because they wouldn't really talk, just do the eyebrows and arcane hand movements that are their true language.

Rebecca reminds him that she put Chris on the table first, and Randal counters that it's not a valid point, that he's "not going to budge on Chris just because" he mentioned Mark first in his list. He explains that they're going to have to flip a coin or something about Chris, because they could be there all night; he's not backing down on Chris for round two. George flips the coin (Rebecca: "Randal, you want to call it in the air?") and he calls heads, "always heads," and it's tails, so Rebecca has Chris, and Randal chooses Mark. Don't know why. ["I was totally behind that. Mark was the one victim of that four-shot firing I was kind of sad for." -- Sars] She cocks her head at him. "Who's your third pick? I'm thinking about...Toral." The pause is just long enough for maximum shock and awe, and she takes another dramatic sip of wine as everybody goes nuts. Rene Russo, eat your heart out -- I just got a new free pass ladyfriend. Men and women of the world, with your "Angelina Jolie" and your "Charlize Theron," have fun. I vote Rebecca Jarvis. God. Carolyn looks over at George and shakes her head, because the math on this decision requires a graphing calculator, and she hasn't got one because there's not really a purse big enough for one that goes with this outfit, so she settles for having a tiny stroke instead.

Randal is awesome: "That's...deep." He then is amazingly, beautifully cool: "If you want her, she's yours." Like he's being generous. I guess it really is on, because his first response had to be, like, a general "Are you fucking high?" which blended quickly into a crescendo of "I HAVE NEVER IN MY LIFE YELLED AT A GIRL LIKE THIS! WHEN MY MOTHER YELLS LIKE THIS IT'S BECAUSE SHE LOVES ME!" And just when Carolyn gets ready to flip the table over and start screaming like the Incredible Hulk, Rebecca slugs another gulp of wine and grins, murmuring, "I'm still thinking." Randal interviews heavily about how much Toral sucks, how Rebecca would get in your face all about how Toral has all this talent and potential, but in point of fact none of them have ever seen her demonstrate this, but he's missing the point, which is that Rebecca actually wants to win this shit with two broken ankles. The two times Trump has been really violently impressed with Rebecca were when she laser-eyeballed him about the ankle, and when she pulled a knife on him for Toral. Come on, Randal. She didn't just randomly become stupid, today, and it's not that she just has a blind spot when it comes to Toral. Not anymore, anyhow -- she made that clear at Toral's firing that she was willing to reconsider. There's an angle here.

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