Store Wars

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: C+ | Grade It Now!
Lesson Eight: If There Is No "Try," You're All Screwed
In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description!

Yeah, this one's long, but it's mostly because of the quizzes, so can you forgive me? We start with Clay's glorious, pissy, horrific "Don't talk to me" and slamming door routine from last week's post-Boardroom. Alla and Felisha look up at Clay's super-drama and he duck-walks past them with his little orange bag, wearing a face that to me is about one-third triumph at surviving, one-third vindication of his persecution complex, and one-third really scary nihilist Fuck This, Fuck You, Fuck Everything. Alla characterizes it as "proud," murmuring to Felisha that he was like, "Uh, deal with me." Which is maybe a more succinct way of expressing the equation above, but without using fractions. "Whatever," she scoffs. Felisha snivels, "We're going to have to...[deal with him]," and Alla gets a certain (awesome) look on her hard old pretty face too: "Hell yeah we are." She is my soul sister in this moment, and not because it's Clay: it's because she smells blood in the water, and it makes her berserk and ecstatic. And that's why Jacob works from home now.

As everyone mobs Adam and hugs him and licks their thumbs to wipe schmutz off his face and straightens his tie and pushes envelopes into his hand, Clay interviews that if you "call [Clay] out, and lie and say [he] said something vindictive," he is "going after you." And yeah, way to leave it in the Boardroom, but the second Adam and Alla starting making those vague intimations of nonexistent serial anti-Semitic remarks, it crossed the line from particularly bitchy game play to classless maneuver. But since Clay is regularly both bitchy and classless, color me only theoretically sympathetic.

So now that Adam is back, Alla wants to debrief. Adam sweetly asks to invite Clay along, and Alla gives him a curt and hilarious "No." Felisha interviews that she was really hoping he'd leave -- which, think about what she's saying: She'd take Markus over Clay, and that hurts even me -- and that her fear is that he'll sabotage the team effort, "just to hurt us." She shrugs into the camera: "That's Clay." And I don't really think it is, exactly, or at least not until everybody goes Mirror Universe Bizarro in this episode, because it seems highly unlikely that someone would sabotage the entire team task just to get into the Boardroom, and then hope to escape with his life. The "down in flames/hail of bullets" thing is kind of attractive, but these people are so freaking worn out at this point that I think it would just look like too much trouble, even for someone who's as hurt as Clay is right now.

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