Apprentice
Shaniagans

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Jacob Clifton: B | Grade It Now!
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Lesson Ten: Keep It In The Aughts

Back with the temps, Capital Edge is treading the absolute okay side of the line. And this is going to take some thinking. First of all, why the hell did either team call Rando Temps R Us when what they needed was Any Old Talent Agency? Alla keeps talking about how she wants "clean-cut" people, and I don't wanna get into what she thinks that means, because you know how I hate mind-reading these people, but the bottom line is that if you're looking for a type, go where the types go. Not some employment agency where the people aren't unemployed by choice. Go to a talent agency, where the people are unemployed on purpose. Get me eight hot chicks and seven hot guys in cowboy hats and I will get you some fucking phone calls, megaphones or no. If you've got people that you have to ask if they know who Shania Twain is, or if they speak English, you've wasted my time, your time, and most importantly, these people's time, because they could clearly use a break. There's mildly humorous footage of people practicing the name "Shania," and Felisha deeming a guy okay despite his "thick accent," but things are getting very fucking American Idol right now and it hurts my heart, because I realize what Cap Edge needs to accomplish here, and I can't argue with the way they're dealing with things, but it's not exactly the coolest thing to be watching on TV.

Adam interviews that Alla has lost her grip on quality control, and the team has forgotten that this is about more than just "warm bodies," but there's an edge on his frustration because he was the carriage guy, and kind of thinks this whole thing is dumb and a time-waster anyway. Adam and the temps work together to wrap the carriages, and Shania looks crazy some more, and then there's a troubling moment where Adam interviews that in the end it looks "great," but this is intercut with images of Shania with her head slashed open, bubbling weirdly under the vinyl, with her arms ripped off, et cetera. I've seen this show before, and I always have the same question: why do things get more ghetto the more money they get? Every season it goes the same way. Why?

I kind of miss Marshawn as Randal exhorts his proles that their "goal today is to get people to order the sample" and that this will require the "gift of gab." This sounds like a recipe for disaster: set the unemployed on innocent passersby and make them call a number at any cost. But at least he's framing it properly: here's the goal, here's what you need to accomplish the goal. Over shots of rando proles, Rebecca voices over that these are "real New Yorkers" with "real appeal" to "other New Yorkers." Because one thing that's fresh and new for New Yorkers is having the unemployed and homeless harangue them about the non-essentials. I'm sure that's what Trump had in mind. At least Rebecca and Randal discuss deployment of their Spanish-speaking temps instead of tossing them out altogether, like Alla, and Rebecca notes insightfully that this is more than likely not something that Capital Edge would have thought of. Cut to a guy on a megaphone yelling in Spanish, and a chick getting on her cell immediately in response.

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Apprentice

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