Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: B | Grade It Now!
Lesson Ten: Keep It In The Aughts

What's Your Hip Quotient? Multiple choice: Rules? Or Drools?

1. Horse-And-Carriage Advertising
2. Crazy Diplomat-From-Outer-Spacia Outfits
3. Letting Your PM Take The Fall For Somebody's Crappy Ideas
4. Having Crappy Ideas
5. Virginity
6. Stealing Megaphones
7. Letting Crazy Homeless People Do Your Work For You
8. Clay Being Gone
9. "Wrapping"
10. Carolyn Letting 'Er Rip On Your Doomed Ass

Answer Key:

1. Drools! Even on Deadwood that shit is played.
2. Rules! One for every day, preferably!
3. Rules! She's gunning for you anyway!
4. Drools! Leave that for the chuckers!
5. Rules! I'm so totally sure it's by choice, which makes you edgy and alternative!
6. Rules! Kind of!
7. Totally rules: they get paid, you get things done.
8. Kind of drools! …No, it in fact rules.
9. Drools! It always looks like durable, all-weather crap!
10. Totally rules in every way, even if you like the person.

Bill asks how Adam's assertion that he's "more qualified" can be backed up. Adam brings up his "strong analytical skills" and "ability to problem-solve," both of which one would think are huge assets "in the Trump organization," and Felisha is just hitting her stride: "Whatever, bitch. Name some things I don't have." It's awesome. Adam admits that he's claiming things they both have -- strong communication skills, strong sales skills -- on the way to discovering where they differ. He has a "hunger to learn" and "very strong critical skills." Again, she meets the challenge: "Every single person in that suite has great analytical skills, great problem-solving skills." Even Trump is embarrassed. "Let's talk about this task." And Adam gets to precisely half the point: that Felisha's sole duty was "labor" on this task -- and Trump overrides Felisha's not-entirely-valid objection -- but Felisha has a fresh rejoinder ready that in terms of budget, "the number of people was clear from the beginning." She mentions how "these two over here," meaning Alla and Adam, spent the whole time on the carriage deal, and gave her a clear max of twenty people.

Carolyn asks if Felisha made any kind of giant, task-sinking issue of it -- I know, right? -- and Felisha admits that no, because Alla "said this is it, that's what you have." Adam fights her for not negotiating, and then they get into a tiff because she thinks he means period and he actually means with the temp agency, and Felisha basically complains that the budget was broken from moment one. Trump criticizes Felisha's negotiation on the second front, but then turns on Adam: "You spent over half the budget on the carriages...which looked horrible and were ineffective...therefore, Adam: You're fired." It's like watching him kick a puppy, in slow-motion, on the big silver screen, over and over, in a constant loop, and the puppy has a tendency to wiggle awesomely, big wet eyes, big floppy ears, and only three legs. Adam stares at him, confused to the bottom of his soul, and Felisha breathes slowly, carefully, and with fear in her heart.

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