Seams Stress

Episode Report Card
Miss Alli: B- | Grade It Now!
And now for something completely...uhh...
In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description!

Previously on That's Italian! (Roughly, Rounding To The Nearest Ethnicity): The teams were challenged to invent a new kind of pizza, and Trump fooled them both into making pizza with meatballs on it. While PM Stephanie was schlepping a bunch of pizzas to Brooklyn, Alex and Chris got into a tangle and, depending on your take, either almost started punching each other or almost started throwing flour girlishly. Really, either would have been funny in its own way. Alex had trouble selling the story that Chris, addled from tobacco withdrawal, was legitimately menacing, since it seemed like maybe he was know, kind of disorderly. And Stephanie had trouble selling the story that she did a very effective job of managing her team, given that she bailed on supervisory duties in favor of spending a couple of hours riding the subway and letting people smell, but not buy, her delicious meatball pizzas. When she arrived in Brooklyn with pizza that was undoubtedly cold and congealed, she cemented forever the love of several construction workers for Domino's. Just a hint: When you're in Brooklyn, and you're having Domino's delivered from Manhattan, something has gone terribly wrong. I'm just saying. Ultimately, despite their differences, Chris and Alex ganged up on Stephanie and successfully got her fired. So now, there are seven left. Who will go next? And will there finally be a real fistfight?

Glowing green tower porn. Tourists stroll the streets of Manhattan in the rain with the umbrellas for which they paid $40. Fog envelops Trump Tower, which is so heavily metaphorical it makes my teeth hurt. We are entirely without ACWDW footage this week, as we move directly to the opening door of the L-Pal and Chris and Alex walking in. "Who's home, who's home?" Tana wonders as she comes around the corner, steeling herself for the possibility that she won't get her way. But I think she did get her way, and as is her habit, she gives big hugs. Angie looks very relieved as well. Yeah, not sure the suite was so much teeming with Stephanie fans. The boys sit down to tell the tale of the Boardroom, and Alex explains how Trump asked him how it felt to lose. Of course, Alex has already lost three tasks, so it's not as if it's entirely foreign to him, but I suppose Trump uses whatever material he feels is available that doesn't require him to dub any lines. Chris then regales the group with the hilarious tale of Trump telling him that he was "a mess" (it was actually "a disaster"), and he does it in such a way that it appears he doesn't know Trump didn't mean "disaster" in the awesome, "You're a disaster; here's a million dollars and a puppy" kind of way. Chris interviews that Trump told him to chill out and "change the way [he] was acting." He adds that if he's being perceived that way, then he has to change that about himself. Why? "To be a better person." Pfft. Come on, Chris! Do you want to be a better person, or do you want to get into a casino bar without paying the cover charge? He tells us that he has to maintain better control over himself. I personally see no reason to believe he will not be entirely successful in that endeavor; how about you?

The next morning -- no Rhonaphone, no preliminaries, nothing -- we see the sunrise, and then New York is moving all speedy and time-lapse-like, and the candidates are streaming out of Trump Tower. They head over to these offices where there appears to be a big sign that says "Marcraft MAG Apparel Group," but I can't find anything anywhere on the entire internet to support the hypothesis that such a place exists, so maybe it's a pretend sign. Anyway, inside, Trump is talking to some bald guys in suits who are lecturing him about fabrics. The candidates come in, and Trump is saying "The product is great" and "You'd better make it successful," and so I guess this is...Trump's clothing place or something? Oh my God, you guys. I think we are inside Trump's brain. Okay, that was totally scary. Anyway, Trump welcomes the candidates by introducing this week's NotGeorge, a woman named Michelle Scarborough. She's one of Trump's in-house attorneys, and Trump says, "Don't let her looks fool you -- she's very, very tough." I'm sure Carolyn appreciates Trump reminding you that as a general rule, the really ass-kicking women have faces like dachshunds. That's why he doesn't let Melania balance the checkbook.

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