Scoop Dreams

Episode Report Card
Miss Alli: A | Grade It Now!
Donut underestimate good ice cream

The Trump Motto of the Week is "Get Organized." For some reason, we're watching Trump and the Pink Tie of Moguldom show off an apartment he promises is in "fantastic shape." And then, apropos of nothing, he interviews that lack of organization "drives [him] crazy." "Ultimately," he says, "lack of organization is lack of leadership." He tells the Apartment-Seers that the building is ahead of schedule and under budget. So no one has to die. Because if it were otherwise, you know that someone would. We see some shots of people eating ice cream, which can mean only one thing.

That's right, it's a transition. We're back in S5, watching Wes try to hustle an as-yet-undetermined ice cream flavor over the phone. The sales team -- including Raj and his cane -- rattles around while Wes tries to work his "magic." Wes lies to the customer on the phone by promising that while they don't know the name of it, the ice cream has been tested and that "the focus groups really loved it." I have no idea why it apparently doesn't occur to anyone that this is unethical, seriously. This is more than puffery; it's trying to get people to spend money by assuring them that a product has been tested that hasn't been tested. Anyway, Wes interviews about being picked for the sales team because Kelly has confidence in him and so forth. Nevertheless, he's turned down on the phone. And then it appears that he hangs up on a perfectly nice woman, slamming his phone shut in the middle of her sentence, which is just so charming. It's the kind of thing a guy does to show off -- just to prove he's that important, he can cut off a lady he called and he bothered, just because he doesn't think she's going to buy. "I am too important to spend time talking to you -- [flip]." That's just a flat-out asshole maneuver. Never as impressive to anyone else as it is in the mind of the person who does it.

Mid-quality business funk carries us to Ciao Bella, where Apex is now arriving. They meet in a conference room, where they enter into a stage that Jennifer C. says she would call "team havoc." Just a hint -- before you use the expression, "It's what I would call [blank blank blank]," you should have something at least moderately witty or interesting to put in that box. In the conference room, Ivana gets the team started with the women's favorite activity -- undirected, purposeless brainstorming! She asks them to think about what would be interesting to serve at a restaurant, since they're apparently also thinking about big sales rather than street sales. Maria suggests Bloody Mary ice cream. Greeeat. I'll take mine with extra chunks of celery. Among the brilliant ideas you can see on the white board or hear bandied about in addition to Bloody Mary: Old Bay, Chinese Pineapple Cake, Upside-Down Pineapple Cake, Lobster, Mimosa (spelled "memosa"), Batter, Ricotta, Rice, Cotton Candy, Fried Twinkies, Coconut, Starfruit, Red Bear, Cranberry Scones, Buttermilk Biscuit, Fried Chicken, Peppers, Ding Dongs, Tiramisu, Baklava, Citron Tonic, "Licor," White Chocolate, Peach B, Candy Hearts, Cannoli ["spelled 'canolli' on the board, if I recall correctly -- idiots" -- Sars]...and most of those just plain suck. Buttermilk Biscuit ice cream? Fried chicken? I realize that "no idea is stupid" is the idea behind brainstorming, but some ideas are stupid, and we don't have all day, and yuck, your brain should not come up with fried chicken ice cream, even during a storm. Stacie points out that Ivana never provided any structure to the madness. Ivana does, however, suggest "Shortcake." She's an awesome leader. The clock on the wall is shown to indicate just how pokey they're being about all this. "Poke, poke, poke," says Time.

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