Scoop Dreams

Episode Report Card
Miss Alli: A | Grade It Now!
Donut underestimate good ice cream

This is probably where I would point out even I, who am not a local, know that 42nd and Broadway and 42nd and 7th are, like, steps away from each other. These carts have big umbrellas on them. If you're at 42nd and 7th, and you turn around and look, you'll have no trouble seeing a big umbrella at 42nd and Broadway. This entire thing is ridiculous. The other cart isn't "lost." It's "over there." Don't believe me? Look at a map of Times Square. It's half a block. And not half of one of the longer crosstown blocks. It's half the length of a short, teeny, you-can-walk-twenty-of-them-in-ten-minutes north-south Manhattan block. But anyway.

Maria takes off to find Stacie and her cart, but doesn't find them where she expects to. She walks down at least as far as 38th, which is asinine, which you can tell because she walks past the Sterling National Bank building, and that's at 38th and 7th. Rather than walking out of what would really even be considered Times Square, it would have made infinitely more sense to assume that Stacie had the corner wrong. It's just dumb.

A put-out Maria returns to her team, which appears to be standing around doing nothing, know, selling ice cream...and informs them that she walked down 7th and didn't see Stacie and the other cart. "I walked ten blocks!" she says. Well, who told you to do that, fool? Just then, they get on the phone with Elizabeth and learn that Stacie was mistaken -- they're not on 7th, they're on Broadway. "That is not what I was told," says Maria coldly and indignantly. Oh, exhale. "You guys, are they right there?" Ivana says, apparently spotting the other cart. And if the editing isn't lying, the Stacie cart is outside the ESPNZone, which is indeed at 42nd and Broadway. And not exactly hidden from view, with the giant pink-and-white umbrella. "Are they wasting our time or what?" Maria says angrily. "This is a boondoggle," Ivana complains. Well, you're the biggest boon currently doggling, sweetheart, so get your ass scooping, would you?

Meanwhile, at Mosaic, Raj is standing on the sidewalk, bellowing for people to step up and try "the best ice cream in the wooooorld." This team seems to be having a good time, relating well to customers, and doing a very good job all around. It could not be more of a stark contrast with what's going on over at Apex. Pamela, on the other hand, is not into this. This is not her thing, and she's utterly out of her element, walking up to people like, "Um, ice cream? Want any? Ice cream?" Raj does a pretty funny -- and pretty accurate -- impression of Pamela, deadpanning, "Would you care for an ice cream. Please buy an ice cream. It's for a good cause." Kelly speculates that Pamela may have believed that the hard sell was a little bit "beneath her," and I don't know that it's that; I just think she's not good at it. Although considering the kinds of people they like to get for this show, I suppose the odds are that she does think it's beneath her.

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