Retro Rumble

Episode Report Card
DeAnn Welker: B- | Grade It Now!
Make 7Up Yours

Previously: Three people (Nene, La Toya, and Star) were fired in three hours last week. The Jo(h)ns were pretty amazing. Meat Loaf and Marlee were just all right. In the suite, the Jo(h)ns are hoping Meat Loaf fights back against the women. They're obviously overjoyed when he comes back to the suite. The three guys hug it up. Lil Jon gives us an announcer voice of the final four, in which he calls himself "the King of Crunk." Marlee comes in then, and is all depressed about Star leaving. In fact, she even cries. She says it's because of not getting money for her charity, and because Star was fired. Trump enters the suite, then, shocking the celebrities (and Jack, Marlee's interpreter). He lets them know they're going to be interviewed by Bret Michaels, Joan Rivers and Piers Morgan. They won, he reminds them, so he takes what they say very seriously. After those interviews, he says, he's going to fire two more people. Lil Jon says they just came out of one firestorm and are entering another, but he's ready for whatever. "The epic battle continues."

Intense music plays as the previous winners show up and the current contestants (in new clothes, by the way, so this might not be the same night that the Star firing took place) head into a lobby to wait. John's the first one called in to be interviewed. He tells us that he puts everything on the line every time, and "by god, I do want to be the next Celebrity Apprentice." "Money, money" opening. Man, Dionne Warwick was sure pretty back in the day.

Trump meets with his three winners, after their interviews with the contestants. Piers says they're all good, and it's going to be a tough decision. Trump asks what they think of John Rich, who's been very competent. Bret Michaels thinks he's at the top of the fiercest competitors and that he's a fighter from humble beginnings. Cut to Rich interviewing with the fearsome threesome. Piers asks who he'd chuck under a bus right now, and Rich says Meat Loaf, who's been a bit of a screamer and a crier. He also throws Marlee under, because he says she's mostly just raised a lot of money. Joan asks what he's done, and he says he's been a good writer. "Every time I wrote, we won." He says that when he was project manager and writing, it was left and right brain. Piers says he's not impressed that Rich can write a song, so what else does he have? Rich says he's organized. They ask him what others will say negatively about him, and he honestly doesn't know. He says no one's said a negative thing about him yet (and, weirdly, I think that's true; how did I not realize that sooner?). Piers asks if they've even mentioned the hat, which Piers finds annoying. This gives Joan and Piers a chance to make a pot-shot at Clint Black. Bret asks Rich if he'll be able to go toe-to-toe with Lil Jon despite their friendship. Rich says he's ready to compete. Dude, they're the new Troy and Kwame! And since Trump didn't give us a Troy-Kwame final two way back then, I sure hope he'll give us this one. Back with Trump and the threesome, Piers tells Trump he wasn't impressed with Rich's answer about writing. Eh, whatever.

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