Party Like a Mock-Star

Episode Report Card
Joe R: B | Grade It Now!
Psycho Beach Party

Previously: Penn Jillette was rightly called out by his team (Clay in particular) for being condescending, while the Aubrey O'Day/Lisa Lampanelli junta were really into the creative freedom of being creative and didn't much care for the delegation from Venezuela. Tia Carrere got while the getting was good, dignity-wise.

Post-Pinkslip Aftermath:
The women's team is divided pretty cleanly, with Lisa, Aubrey and Debbie on one side, Patricia and Dayana on the other and Teresa willing to float to whatever side is making her feel less like the total idiot she is.

In happier news, Lou Ferrigno gets to present the winning team's check to an adorable little girl with muscular dystrophy. Lou gets choked up, despite the fact that the moment is as obviously staged as anything I've seen on TV, from the coached little girl to the insanely glossy music, but it's adorable nonetheless.

The Task:
The client is Crystal Light. The judges are Don Jr. and Ivanka. The mission is to throw a launch party to introduce one of two Crystal Light "mocktail" flavors. The women choose Aubrey as project manager and will promote the Pomtini flavor. The men choose Clay as the PM and will promote the Peach Bellini flavor. The Crystal Ligt execs stress that they are looking for creativity, brand messaging and an overall party atmosphere in this task. Aubrey manages to let us know that "as a sorority sister and former member of Danity Kane, I've thrown lots of parties." Noted. Clay, meanwhile, interviews that "as a clubber," Aubrey has an advantage. "Aubrey popped right out of her momma's choch and started grabbing onto the stripper pole," he giggles, followed by a "...How's that? Can you use that?" FUCK, I like Clay Aiken now.

Team Unanimous:
Clay does a bit of place-setting in his interview, saying, "You'd think we would all go to a lot of parties. You know, Dee and ... Paul?" Sigh. No, the truth is that this men's team is full of wallflowers. How are they going to sell the "literally, a party in a pack" Crystal Light fancy drinks? The execs say the word "fun" about a hundred times, so guess what they're looking for. Clay pitches "Life's a Peach" to the team, and while Penn sits in quiet judgment of Clay's beach-party idea, nobody objects. Arsenio and Penn sent out to go prop shopping, which keeps Penn out of Clay's hair while Dee is placed in charge of signage, and Lou and Paul are given the crucial task of unwrapping the little paper umbrellas. Paul seems cool and good-humored about it, which is not what I would have expected from him.

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