King Of The Jingle

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: C+ | Grade It Now!
Lesson Six: Trump's Your Momma Now
In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description!

Last week, remember, Trump's hate-on for Tarek was impressive in its tumescence, but ultimately the problem was Lenny's concept -- a minor quibble that even the NCL executives didn't really care about, but which loomed large in Trump's mind, which is how these decisions happen -- which, in the absence of Lenny, got Dan fired. That is still as stupid as it was last week, even though it obtained the correct result. Upstairs while this crap is going on, Charmaine and the other Weasels are talking about how ouija-weird it will be if Tarek comes back from the Boardroom for an eighteenth time. Of course, this is what happens, in a cloud of eyebrows and glitter, and Lenny greets Lee as "brother," and Leslie and Charmaine are just sick about Dan leaving. Maybe they only hate him when they're in the bathroom. Really, though, it's about hating Tarek: Charmaine interviews that he "doesn't play well with others," and that as a team, they'd be stronger with him gone. I know that she's right, but it weirds me out when the whole fucking team comes down to one person being an issue. I'd think if anything, Charmaine was more right in preceding weeks when she observed that it's the Dan-Tarek-Bryce Axis of Fratty that was the actual problem. Tarek can't suck in a vacuum, he needs hooligans to make his strange magic work. Without that, he's just...kind of a dick, and he doesn't have the performance record to make up for that.

Bryce tells Tarek to work on not pissing these girls off, because that will put him on a nonstop express to the Boardroom, where Trump's waiting to punish him with smoke coming out his nostrils. Bryce interviews intensely about how he just wants to "put it behind us tonight, before our next task." He says this in a very exasperated way, like why can't the team just get it together and be perfect grown-ups like him, and there's a general feeling of disrespect for people with personalities, seeing as how he's got along fine all these years without one. They sit down together, and he informs them that he is going to be the Project Manager this task. Lenny, Lee, and Charmaine -- also known as the people who aren't Tarek, less Leslie, who doesn't technically exist -- wonder at what's wrong with Bryce today. He orders them to get it "all" out on the table, and demands that they work it out within fifteen minutes.

Flash Quiz: You've inherited a somewhat contentious group of Type-A pretty people who all want to be the boss of everybody. First order of business:

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