Apprentice
I'm Going To Mop the Floor With You

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Lady Lola: C- | Grade It Now!
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Condescendin' the Clowns

Unanimous. It isn't a very promising start when Penn Jillette and Dee Snider have to explain the concept of a viral video to Paul Teutul. Sr. Lou tells the guys they're going to be amazing and brilliant and throws his hat in the ring once again to star in this production. Penn asks if he has any ideas. Lou thinks a dog leaving muddy footprints on a floor is going to burn up the Internet. Oh, Lou, footprints won't do. It has to be cupcakes at the very least! If only to expedite his departure, the guys agree to theme the video around Lou.

Forte. Dayana Mendoza wants to draw on her experience as Miss Universe and do a spoof of pageants. Aubrey naturally thinks they're the worst ideas ever -- because they're not hers. To be fair, Dayana also thinks a video featuring a pregnant woman mopping up her own vaginal spill after her water breaks is a good idea, so... maybe Aubrey has a point. The low-rent (and maybe a little racist?) Dayana imitation, however, is unnecessary. Aubrey has decided that she, Lisa and Debbie are the strongest players. When the editors cut to an aerial shot with Dayana's incessant stream of bad ideas overlaid, I suspect they might agree.

The ladies head to their war room at O-Cedar and start testing out the product. Tia is already nervous because they only have one day to put the entire video together from start to finish. Mike from O-Cedar stops by to give them some pointers for their challenge. Unlike last week's stuffy GM folks, he's open to a little sexy wordplay. He tells them to come up with a winking catchphrase. Last year's was "Dirty little secrets." Elsewhere, the other O-Cedar exec isn't quite as excited/open-minded when the guys ask if they can be funny. She insists the product must be "the hero" and tells them brand messaging is key. As to the question of humor, she tells them, "It's your choice." Given that a.) Lou is likely not very funny (at least not intentionally/on command) and b.) the guys got burned last week trying to use humor, I suspect this will be the dullest viral video ever. The women will really have to biff this one.

But at least they won't do it by using Dayana's broken-water idea. Tia's all, "That gross. Sorry, Dayana!" They settle on a "What's your number?" concept. Sex is implied, but they're really talking about mops. Wink, wink! Tia thinks it's genius. Patricia... not so much. The ladies start writing anecdotes about their mop "number." Dayana's is pretty explicit, saying things like, "My hand doesn't hurt when I hold it because of its shape." Even Lisa thinks that may be going a bit too far with the innuendo, yet no one appears to tell Dayana she needs to tone it down. To be continued...

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Apprentice

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