"I'm Being Punked by a Jackson"

Episode Report Card
Carla Sparks: B | 1 USERS: B+
Soap Drop-era

Last week, the celebrities made ineffective "photo experiences" for Universal Orlando Resort, and while the celebrities failed, the product placement and editing of that episode succeeded in making me want to go to Universal Orlando Resort, so in a way that's a success? I didn't book a trip or anything, and nothing could ever make me want to see Despicable Me, so stop asking, Universal.

Omarosa was Project Manager and had an emotional moment that no one believed. Dee Snider was fired. Coming back into the boardroom, Gary Busey tells "straight shooter" Marilu Henner that he has a supernatural gift of angelic love and all is forgiven. Marilu doesn't seem to understand or accept this particular iteration of an apology, but her boardroom accusation of Gary for being distracting is water under the bridge. She'd better get used to it, because Busey's here to stay.

Before we get to the task, Omarosa delivers a check to the Sue Duncan Children's Center. Sue Duncan mentored Omarosa's late fiancé, Michael Clarke Duncan. Omarosa squeezes out some tears that I believe are genuine, since her fiancé's death was so recent. Maybe her tear ducts just don't work, but that's none of our concern.

Donald Trump meets his celebrities at the Paley Center for Media to announce that this challenge is for Crystal Light. This season, Crystal Light is hocking those insane, water-enhancing flavor drops -- another zero calorie, zero utility innovation that no one asked for. Here in Western Civilization, we have water so freely that we are BORED by it.

Crystal Light invites us to "re-think your drink," and make it more dramatic (again, plain water = boring) by having the celebrities produce five-minute mini-soap operas to occupy themselves while Crystal Light promotes itself for the next two hours. The celebrities' "Crystal Light Soap Operas" will be judged on audience reaction, creativity, execution, and brand messaging. To help out, Jack Wagner and Susan Lucci will be lending their faces in soft focus.

It's time to choose the project managers, and Lisa Rinna turns to her team saying, "I know I'm a natural, but we really need a director where I am served best as an actor." On Team Power, La Toya Jackson steps up. On Plan B, Lisa Rinna nominates Stephen Baldwin. Claudia is quickly becoming one of my favorite celebrities for commentary, as she points out Plan B's acting prowess, and her team members' abilities to marry themselves and run in slow motion.

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