"How Do You Spell Milania"

Episode Report Card
Carla Sparks: C | 1 USERS: B+
Simply Merlernia

For the second week in a row, Celebrity Apprentice is only an hour long. Either Donald Trump has accepted the fact that his show is no longer two hours interesting, or they didn't want to compete with Revenge or Mad Men. Regardless, whew. Once Gary Busey is eliminated, this show will only be half an hour long.

Everyone is pleased to see that Donald finally took the initiative to fire Omarosa. They're even delighted to see Dennis Rodman, who has decent ideas for a celebrity. Brande is convinced that without Omarosa, they could have won every task.

In the atrium of Trump Tower, further evidence of plunging ratings, Donald Trump introduces the celebrities to his child bride and Real Housewife baby name inspiration, Melania. I wonder if Ivanka will be around for this task to resent her a little. Melania struck gold, and she's taking advantage of it starting now.

The task this week is to introduce Melania Trump's new skincare line: Melania Caviar Complex C6. The tagline should definitely be, "yes, it's for rich people." The English-speaking vice president of marketing for Melania Collection tells the celebrities that their task is to create a two page advertorial and product display. The project managers are selected by default: Dennis Rodman and Penn Jillette. I'm sure Melania is thrilled. Or she doesn't know what's going on.

Dennis fears being the project manager of Team Power, because he doesn't like to "run people." When meeting with Melania and the executives, Dennis asks Melania if she started the brand and she confirms that yes, "I create everything." Then, Dennis jokes about going into Melania's bathroom and seeing what she has in her medicine cabinet. Melania doesn't have time to process and translate, but manages to respond that Dennis is not allowed in the bathroom.

Over at Plan B, things are a bit more professional. They find out that the target demographic for Melania Collection is ... women? "A mother, a wife, a business woman," Melania tells them. The VP of Marketing tells Plan B that the line is "synergistic." Then, Gary gets into it, confessing in an interview that his genitalia was so excited it was spinning like a ferris wheel. As ya do.

Team Power tries to come up with an idea, a plan, anything, for Melania Complex. Brande notices that it's a lot of white and gold, so there's something. Trace hopes there will some day be a task where they are asked to sell horse feed. Selling meatballs was pretty close, and he begged out of that one.

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