Apprentice

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Going Once, Twice, You're Fired

Fine, we're still here. I'm just used to the firings coming at the end of the episode, you know. Back in the board room, Trump faces the final two and frames the upcoming battle as "good vs. evil" and "U.K. against the United States." They'll get their last task tomorrow, and they're dismissed for the night. "You're going down, cowboy," Piers says. "Take your best shot," Trace responds, and they trash-talk each other all the way back to the suite.

Next morning, Trace and Piers meet with Trump and the Trumplets at the Trump Building at 40 Wall Street (they show the address on screen, so I didn't have to look it up or anything, not that I would have). Trump hasn't come up with a better hook for the final showdown overnight, and although Piers says to Trump that he isn't as evil (and Trace isn't as good) as Trump thinks, he privately interviews that this was just what he wanted to hear. Before getting into the explanation of the task, Trump brings back four of the previously fired celebrities: Carol, Lennox (so Trump didn't really get rid of him after all), Stephen Baldwin (because just like on Celebrity Mole, you just can't eliminate that guy for good), and Marilu Henner. Trace wins the coin toss, and picks Lennox, mainly to keep Piers from picking him. Piers chooses Stephen, to Trump's surprise and Stephen's disappointment. Trace picks Marilu. So Carol, the last one fired, is the last one picked. She takes it pretty well, though.

Trump then explains the task, which is to throw a charity event right here in the building. Yes, that's only one event to share between the two of them, but they'll have to do different things. One team will handle catering and a live auction, while the other will handle d├ęcor and dealing with the "entertainment," the Backstreet Boys. The finalists will be judged on tickets sold, how well they handle their part of the event, and money made on the stuff each finalist sells at the auction. Which is stuff that Trump will be giving them to fight over.

So let's get that fight started. Except that Piers and Trace both agree to play to their respective strengths, with Trace taking on the show and Piers handling the catering and auction. The selection of the charity items goes similarly smoothly, as Piers and Trace simply take turns picking. We don't get much of a look at the stuff, but I see at least one Gene Simmons bass in there and something to do with Taxi, so obviously the items have connections to the celebrities from the show. Piers is particularly excited about getting to auction off a shopping trip with Ivanka. What, no visit to SuperCuts with Don, Jr.? After the meeting breaks up, Trace compares Piers to a Chihuahua: a tiny dog who makes a lot of noise but isn't really much of a threat. Easy for him to say. I was terrified of a Chihuahua named Tater when I was five. Hated that little fucker.

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Apprentice

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