Apprentice

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Designing Women

Trump's heard enough and tells them he gets that it's all hard, and he'll give one of them a job, but it's going to be hard. He divides the teams up: men versus women. He says they need to go choose a project manager -- which is good and bad, because you show you want to win but you also could be the target. Then they'll meet at the Trump Building, where he'll give them their task. His parting words are that they're not friends and they need to just go out to win. He needs the drama to make sure this show gets renewed; it is a recession, after all, and Trump doesn't want to have to lose any of his bazillion sources of income.

The guys want to come up with a team name first; they want it to be about recovery and looking toward the future. "Struggling business owner" Anand interviews that a room full of alpha males can be tough, but he knows he's one of the most confident people here, and he came to win. I'm so sick of reality show contestants saying (or crying about) how they came to win. Because that's unlike the other reality-show contestants in what way, exactly? Anand suggests they name their team, "Next." Or "Phoenix." Then some guy named Alex suggests Icarus, "rising from the ashes." Which makes Steuart question whether he's cut out to be Trump's apprentice. You know, because the past winners have all been such masters of Arts and Letters. Someone suggests "Octane." James says he'd prefer not to do something too, like, awesome. Which is, like, awesome. They all love Octane, of course, because it's the worst idea they had. James hates it for being a buzzword. And I agree. Next step is choosing a project manager. When no one volunteers, a fast-talking "Struggling realtor" named Wade lies that Gene has leadership and is someone to look up to, so he should do it. Then he post-interviews that he doesn't want to be the guy whose head's on the block in the first battle of a long war. Gene steps up and says he'll do it, though he admits to mixed feelings. The guys wonder if the girls are already having a catfight next door...

But they aren't. Instead they're coming up with names, one of which is "Phoenix." I would have loved for both teams to go back to Trump with the same name. Probably won't happen with "Octane," however. Liza, another "Struggling business owner" knows everyone's here for a difference and "May be the best man win," except she totally meant "woman." Tyana likes "Inspire," but Nicole doesn't like it, so someone jumps on the computer and pulls up a thesaurus or something. She starts shouting out terrible options: "Vigorous," "Stamina," "Fortitude" (which she can't pronounce). They choose Fortitude, and Nicole volunteers to be the first project manager. Mahsa, an assistant district attorney, makes fun of Nicole's assertiveness in her post-interview, and calls her "ballsy." The women think they'll win with their "synergistic energy." Ew. Nicole wants to make a strong first impression, and she thinks being project manager is the easiest thing she will probably ever do on The Apprentice. Wait. Does she realize there's more to it than just volunteering, and she actually has to lead the team?

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Apprentice

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