Episode Report Card
DeAnn Welker: B | Grade It Now!
Who's the Biggest Loser?

Can anyone believe this show has been around for eight seasons? I sure can't. Remember back when it was sort of awesome? You know: Troy and Kwame's lovefest and all? About six seasons later, we got the celebrities and now here we are: bigger (bloated to two hours per episode), but will it be better? Let's just see about that.

We start with previouslies, for some unknown reason (another attempt by NBC to bloat a show to two hours when it shouldn't be, perhaps?). Anyway, last season: Piers won, even though he was a jerk. And I didn't watch (sorry! But I'm here now!). Oh, and announcer guy says that Piers "changed the way the game was played." As if he's the one who decided there would be a Celebrity edition of this show. Inspirational music plays, and we see many American flags. Then, Trump's in an airplane, telling us that there is more money out there, and he wants it to go to the people who need it most (he also wants to keep a lot for himself, natch), which is why he's doing this show again. We get shots of our new celebrities as the music changes from inspirational to sort of frenzied. And announcer guy tells us that there will be no managers or assistants. And we might even see our "celebrities" clean toilets or fit entirely into garbage cans. He finishes it with "Last season was a battle. This time, it's war!" And we get lots of clips of Joan Rivers basically being a bitch. This will be fun. And once again, it's the men versus the women.

The men's team: "Heisman Trophy winner Herschel Walker." I must interject to point out that winning the Heisman doesn't necessarily make you a celebrity. You probably need to go on to the NFL, too, which he did, and which is why he's famous. I find it weird they'd introduce him as only the Heisman winner. But I'm not the authority (or even an authority) on sports, so I'll leave it to the brilliant minds behind this show. "Controversial comedian Andrew Dice Clay." I can't argue with that description, actually. But then Dice Clay says, "I'm the biggest standup comic, ever, in history!" I will have to argue with that. Not the biggest in size, stature, or any other way. If that were the case, he wouldn't be on this show. "Multiplatinum recording artist Brian McKnight." "Comedian and TV host Tom Green."

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