Barking Up The Wrong Tree

Episode Report Card
Miss Alli: B+ | Grade It Now!
For a small person, she was very annoying
Previously on Fashion Forward...On Its Face: Eeeeee! Apex won! Eeeeeee! And capelets! Eeeee! Let's play dress-up! Eeeee! Home economics rules! Eeeeeee! Yeah. Anyway, the women of Apex were better at cooing over clothes designed by someone else than the men. Sure, it wasn't cerebral, but there's a good reason Trump doesn't start off every week by telling each team to appoint a classics professor. Maria and Kelly were Obnoxious and Overbearing, the Goofus and Gallant of Type-A personalities, except for the part where neither of them is a role model for anyone but Texas high school football coaches. John was the fumbling project manager on the wrong side of the victory, and he didn't look good after abandoning a few of the task's smaller components, like the avoidance of total financial ruin. In the Boardroom, John tried to get Andy thrown out on his Ivy League ass, but it turns out that the railroading of the socially disfavored doesn't work without the Magic 8-Ball as an accessory, so John's own mistakes wound up being his downfall, and he took the boot. Stacy? Well, she was still a do-nothing troublemaker. You know, if the people who produce this show really knew what they were doing, that would be ripening into a plot point right about now.

Credits. I bet you could use that shot at the end to teach yourself how to forge Trump's signature. Not that I am advocating that, for the purposes of the definitions of words like "aiding and abetting."

New York. Night. A spiteful God looks down on the Manhattan streets, adjusting his Red Sox hat and opening a jar of peanuts. And in S5, it is time once again for the Aspiring Corporate Weasel Death Watch. The ACWDW begins when Chris, Wes, Kelly, and Raj return to tell the ladies that John is at the final table with Andy and Kevin. Kelly tells the Apexiennes that he talked straight about Andy -- Andy asks too many questions, needs oversight, on and on and on. So by "talked straight," he means "kind of fibbed, but not that much, compared to, like, a member of Apex." Stacy asks why Andy was taken in, and Wes says that it's because John thinks Andy is weak. As Wes points out, though, while Andy isn't a great leader, he contributes in other ways, including "creativity." Like, for instance, coming up with the million-dollar giveaway that ended before it began. Or that impressive "Crustacean Nation" concept that went over with the seven-year-olds with all the pizzazz of a mechanical pencil. See? Andy's a creative genius. Give him enough chances and he's totally going to come up with something that can be successfully executed without breaking the law, or preventing children from ever enjoying a nice shrimp cocktail again. Outside, the spared Kevin and Andy make their way toward the suite. They open the door just as Wes is saying that he thinks Andy, in fact, contributes to the team more than John. If that timing really worked that well, then that's pretty cool. And it appears that it did, because when Wes spots Andy returning with Kevin, he says, "What'd I tell you?" As Andy and Kevin get hugs, Wes interviews that he thinks this was the moment in the game where people figured out that you couldn't pick on Andy just because he's young. "I think people will think twice before they bring him into the Boardroom with them," Wes says. Foreshadowing opens a beer and high-fives God, and the two of them discuss whether crowd shots of Jimmy Fallon at Fenway Park are really necessary.

Ivana announces that, wonder of wonders, there'! And then she proceeds to wow the assembled masses with...a plate of Doritos with salsa poured over them. "Oh, those look great," someone gushes. Someone, that is, who has trouble with either glass jars or cellophane bags and is therefore excessively grateful for even the kind of snack that is traditionally served at slumber parties. As they all sit down to dinner, which it appears the girls prepared also (it's probably Lean Cuisines), the phone rings. Wes gets up to answer it, and when he does, it's not Rhona, the way it usually is when they get an assignment. It's Robin from the Boardroom, and she tells them that they all have to return there right away. Andy repeaterviews what we just saw with Wes answering the phone, and adds that he was kind of bummed, because he's been in the Boardroom enough, and he'd like to have eaten his taco. Eye on the ball, junior. You're too weak to be flip.

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