Apprentice: Martha

Here Comes the Dawna

By Keckler | Aired on 12.20.2005

The Finale - For my final Keckler Kocktail, I'd like to bring back one of my classics. Around six years ago, the only way I could slog through the tripe that was Jennifer Jugs Hewitt's new show was to consume large amounts...

Read Recap

RECAPS, WEECAPS, AND MORE

Latest Episode
1-13 Recap	Here Comes the Dawna The Finale - One hour cut down from two, and the episode STILL slouched toward cancellation at a Xanaxed snail's pace. Dawna wins, Bethenny loses. Whatever. At least it's over.	12.20.2005	D+	Keckler
Ep.	Title	Air/Pub'l	Grade	Author
1-12 Recap	Return of the Jimedi The Empire Strikes Back - Hateful Jim's gone. And then he's back. Maybe someone will dump him in a Sarlacc pit.	12.13.2005 12.18.2005	B	Keckler
1-11 Recap	Seasoning Packet Greetings! Sandra Lee's Semi-Homemade Holiday - Tunes, 'tinis, and tumored sides of beef.	12.16.2005 12.17.2005	N/A	Keckler
1-11 Recap	Clueless Joe Jackson Final Approach - See Ryan run. See Ryan drink beer. Drink lots of beer, Ryan! See Ryan get sent home. See Marcela do nothing. See Marcela do more nothing. See Marcela get sent home.	12.06.2005 12.12.2005	C-	Keckler
1-10 Recap	Paging Bobbie Spencer A Ridiculous Display - The teams are tasked to come up with a showroom display for Buick's new "luxury" car that, strangely enough, also manages to bear the same name as Safeway's generic dairy label. Ah, Lucerne Cottage Cheese and canned peaches -- a great way to add that touch of class to your breakfast table and your next road trip.	11.29.2005 12.04.2005	C+	Keckler
1-9 Recap	Coffee Is For Closers The Coffee Achievers - Tasked with selling space-age coffee machines, Primarius chooses to outsource things to a PR firm, while Matchstick opts to utterly bail on PM Marcela. When the former approach bests the latter, Ryan takes offense to charges of disloyalty, but it's Amanda's hatred of perfection that gets her bounced.	11.15.2005 11.20.2005	C-	Joe R
1-8 Recap	Up Your Nose with a Retractable Hose Don't Touch That Dial - The teams have to sell outdoor products on QVC. Matchstick weathers Amanda's me-first antics and sells lots of hose retractors. Primarius trusts its on-air presentation to Jim, who isn't the horror show you'd expect, but they lose anyway. And Howie's profound not caring gets him shown the door.	11.08.2005 11.14.2005	C	Joe R
1-7 Recap	Buzz Kill Swimming Against The Tide - Martha really wows us with her double-fire of the Buzzkill Spinsters, Sarah and Carrie! If only Trump hadn't done that last year, or fired a whole team last week, maybe this actually would have been interesting.	11.01.2005 11.07.2005	N/A	Keckler
1-6 Recap	Who Let The Jim Out? Every Dog Has His Day - In the course of this task, Hateful Jim reaches new heights of rubber-faced insanity, but still manages to drag a kicking and screaming Primarius to victory, while Marcela and her damp Matches are left without a fire under their asses. David gets the Nicest! Letter! Ever! from Martha and is left whistling, "The chances, my friend, are blowing in the win, the chances...are blowing...in the win."	10.25.2005 10.31.2005	B-	Keckler
1-5 Recap	It's Quite Easy Being Green Mixed Greens - Martha shakes it up, and Jennifer is the one who falls out.	10.18.2005 10.24.2005	C+	Keckler
1-4 Recap	Flow it out your ass! Sweet Suite - After four weeks of being dumped on, Dawn is kicked out of the loft when Matchstick loses. Again. Some more.	10.11.2005 10.17.2005	D+	Keckler
1-3 Recap	There's No Success Like Failure And Failure's No Success At All Bake It 'Til You Make It - Wedding cakes are baked, and Matchstick loses again. Weather Girl Shawn and her ridiculous bravado are sent home after telling Martha that she "fakes it." And she's not talking about orgasms, either.	10.04.2005 10.07.2005	C+	Keckler
1-2 Recap	Jimmy, Jimmy, Quite The Ninny, How Does Your Psychosis Grow? Business Is Blooming - Selling flowers, offending all of Holland, and the lamest reward ever all pale in comparison to Hateful Jim's continuing descent into lunacy.	09.27.2005 10.02.2005	C+	Keckler
1-1 Recap	Skittles and Vittles Once Upon A Time - Matchstick and Primarius grimly rewrite children's fairy tales, and while PM Dawna and Primarius have their prince come in the form of sushi, PM Jeff of Matchstick is chopped up and made to lie under the juniper tree.	09.20.2005 09.25.2005	C+	Keckler