The Americans
The Colonel

Episode Report Card
Joe R: B+ | 29 USERS: A
YOU GRADE IT
It's a Trap

At home with the Beemans, Sandra opens up a present from Stan: a trip to Jamaica for 8 days. (Sandra: "Looks expensive." Stan: "Philip got us a rate.") She's not interested, though. He assures her that this assignment is all over tomorrow. He says he takes responsibility for what's happened in their marriage, but he wants to make it better Sandra's like, "I get it. But I can't." Their problems are more than what a vacation can fix.

The Jenningses. Elizabeth kisses Henry as he sleeps under his Star Wars bedspread, then, she heads for the basement, moves the dryer out of the way to reveal a secret hiding spit and listens to a recording that her mother sent her, seemingly recently. She updates Elizabeth on what's happening in Russia. Poor Uncle Anatoli has dementia. Her mom misses her so, so much. She says she loves looking at her photo of Elizabeth and her family. "I know I'll never meet them, but knowing you have them... that makes me happy. They are my family too." This hits home with Elizabeth, as you might imagine.

Elsewhere in D.C., Claudia is in Harmless Old Lady drag, knocking on an apartment door. She pretends her niece accidentally locked her out and we see what she's up to when the man who answers the door is Patterson, the CIA guy who Elizabeth nearly executed for ordering General Zhukov's murder. He's very wary ever since his unfortunate experience, by Claudia's old-lady innocence wears down his guard, and while he makes sure his gun is at the ready, he lets her in. Big mistake. She does a very good job of faking the phone call with her nephew, lasting long enough to get Patterson's guard down so that when she rounds on him with a taser, he's not expecting it. Once he's on the ground, she sticks him with a syringe and tells him it'll keep him immobilized for about twenty minutes, which is ten longer than he's got to live. And with that, she takes a delicate little knife and neatly nicks open his carotid artery. The smallness of that gesture was my favorite part in the episode and just SO Claudia. Ruthless efficiency. As he bleeds out, she shows Patterson a photo of Zhukov. She tells him the story of how they met, at Stalingrad, fighting the Nazis. She's telling the long version, too. Whether he'll have any blood left in his body by the time she's done is anybody's guess.

Back at home, Paige wakes Henry up and says she had a nightmare. Yeesh, she really is terrible at being the older sibling. Henry says he's tired. "I'm gonna wake up mom," Paige says. Henry: "No. You're not allowed and you know that." Interesting glimpse into Jennings family life, right there. Paige goes anyway, knocks on the door and sees that no one's in the bedroom. The bed hasn't even been slept in. She creeps downstairs and catches Elizabeth coming up from the basement. A guilty Elizabeth is like, "Laundry! Laundry. It's laundry." Paige says she didn't hear the washing machine. Elizabeth says she was folding. Leave your mom alone, Paige, Jesus!

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The Americans

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