Amazing Race
You Look Ridiculous

Episode Report Card
Miss Alli: C+ | 3 USERS: A
YOU GRADE IT
Double your "pleasure," double your zzzzz…

The Paolos finally finish loading their sugar cane, and they drive off on their tractor. Tony sings on the way, causing DJ to smile a little bit in spite of himself and mutter, "Am I in hell?" This is, like, three percent as embarrassing as the times DJ and his mother holler at each other, so I don't think he should be sweating this part quite so much. Not that I'd want my father to sing on television either. And believe me, he would.

Speaking of being in hell, here come the Weavers to the painting Detour. The Bransens and Gadzookskis, of course, are not happy to note their arrival. "You guys made good time," Wally says kindly. And slowly. "Thanks, Wally," Rolly offers, because nobody else on his team is capable of even a smidgen of grace. Rachel is almost immediately all over Rebecca's ass for doing the pattern on the wheel wrong. I would rather have my teeth drilled than hang around with that team. I would rather have my teeth drilled by that team than hang around with them, if you promised me that during the tooth-drilling, they couldn’t talk. The Tonya who's working with Wally tries to get the other two to help her out, but she gets back the response that they're not done with theirs yet. "It's not our fault that you guys ridiculously suck," another Tonya says in her most mocking voice. I do get the feeling they have more personality than it seems like they have; maybe it's eclipsed by the sea of arguing and moppethood. As for the Weavers, who are still painting, I think it's lucky Rebecca didn't give in to what would obviously have been her urge to grab the paint and add another color to the ones already in her hair. Blue goes with dark brown and bright blonde, right? She needs to be a little more fashion forward, if you ask me.

Out at the plantation, the Linzes arrive at the rum factory. They run inside and start looking for a marked rack of barrels. They soon locate the rack, but then they're not sure how to find the clue in any of the barrels. They make like they're going to start destroying the barrels in a sort of "oogah, can't find clue, BREAK THINGS, BREAK THINGS" kind of way, but then Tommy figures out that you find the clue by pulling out the...stopper thing. (I'm going with "stopper thing." Whatever.) The clue they discover tells them to fly back to the U.S. (sigh), to Phoenix, Arizona, where they'll pick a marked car and drive 14 miles to the Bondurant SuperKart school. The Linzes get to their cab and leave. The Paolos are just now getting to the plant, and they head in and find the marked barrels. They have a less dramatic clue-finding experience, without the apparent possibility of destruction. They read the clue and leave in second place. In my favorite Mama Paolo moment thus far, she says, "What are we going to Phoenix, Arizona for? I want to go to New Zealand!" You and me both, Mama P. You and me both. I guess she was still hoping that they were just going to take a very, very delayed trip around the world after all. But no; she is not getting New Zealand. She will be lucky if the finish line isn't at a Cedar Rapids BP station.

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Amazing Race

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