Amazing Race
You Look Ridiculous

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Miss Alli: C+ | 3 USERS: A
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Double your "pleasure," double your zzzzz…

Moreover, how much would you despise and resent a family like the Paolos, who behave not at all righteously -- from the language to the way they treat each other to their general coarseness -- and still have their father? The Paolos are going to create the bitterest sort of cognitive dissonance, because they represent proof, if you open your eyes, that God doesn't work in that Santa-Claus way. God can't possibly have taken your dad because you weren't good enough if DJ still has his dad, right? If the Gabbleskis still have their big, squabbling family intact in spite of what you perceive as their fake boobs and their silliness and their apparent lack of interest in praying at the beginning of every leg, what does that mean about God and you and your father? I'm just saying, I think if you're raised like that, much of the experience of losing your father -- on top of how traumatic it is for anyone -- is going to be about the upsetting of your worldview, and because you've been raised inside such a closed circle that you can't tolerate threats to your worldview, you just cling to it tighter and more inflexibly, and that's what makes you insufferably mean and closed-minded but keeps you convinced that you're actually a superior person of great character. You top that off with the fact that this family seems to be completely humorless except when it comes to being mean to other people -- they have absolutely no sense of humor about themselves or anything that happens to them -- and it's not that surprising that she's so completely obnoxious.

Anyway, Mama gets into her go-kart. Michelle, meanwhile, finishes her 25th lap and gets her drink of water before the other teams even get started. Wally then takes off, and guess what! He's slow. Drink! (Well, drink slowly.) As the Weavers show up, one of the girls comments that they don't even like the sound of the engines, and I'm sure that's quite true. Rebecca comments, once Mama has taken off, that they're never going to enjoy any kind of racing on a track, "no matter how fun it is." Again...don't blame them for that part. I wish I believed all this harmony would continue. Meanwhile, the Linzes pull up outside, not happy to see that three teams made it to the school ahead of them. Tommy takes the Roadblock for the Linzes.

Racing continues. In the peanut gallery, one of the Tonyas quietly says to Sharon Gadzookski that she feels bad for the Weavers, being here after what happened to their dad. "I know, I know," Sharon says. Rebecca later is telling a couple of the pinks that she doesn't even like having to be here. Christine tries to show some understanding. "But you know what? Just keep remembering…" She doesn't finish, but Sharon compassionately jumps in and says, "It's got to be hard for you." Sharon rubs Rebecca's back, saying, "Your dad would be proud of you guys. Just think about that." Shortly thereafter, we watch Rebecca say, "I hate the Desperate Housewives. They're just so annoying. They lie." See? They can't trust anyone outside the family, even when comfort is clearly what's intended, so they're stuck with only their mom, who is in no position to help them. This is where I start to feel bad for these kids, while I simultaneously cannot stand them and would never want to spend 30 seconds with them and doubt seriously that I would have wanted to spend 30 seconds with them even before their father died. Tommy Linz is the next to leave. Vroom!

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Amazing Race

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