Amazing Race
You Always Just Forget About Me!

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Miss Alli: A+ | Grade It Now!
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Tanks for the memories

Previously on The Adventures Of A Lot Of People Who Should Shut Up, And A Few Other People: The MeHugeYouTinies congealed into an alliance that was dominated by Aaron and Arianne, which made it the only organization with more inept leadership than Major League Baseball. Tramel communicated like a caveman. Ian did, too, albeit in a slightly different way. Jill began what will apparently be a journey entitled "Thirty Thousand Nonstop Miles Of Kicking Everything's Ass." Derek and Drew dangled decoratively like a mobile and lived to tell about it, Fast Forwarding their way into first place. A bus accident was surprisingly irrelevant. Arianne whipped her top off in a taxi, putting a smile on the face of whatever idiot at CBS thinks that what we need on this show is more girls with their tops off. Flipper was like, "The hell?" After a fateful encounter with a WaveRunner, the charming Tramel and Talicia were sadly Philiminated, but they showed future Philiminatees how it's done. Phil: "Who will be eliminated..." Years pass. Children are born, grow up, and get their drivers' licenses. Stars burn out. "...tonight?"

Credits. Famous Scots include: Sean Connery, Billy Connolly, Alexander Graham Bell, Adam Smith, David Niven, and Rod Stewart. Scudamore's Punting Company was founded by Mr. F. Scudamore in 1910, and has just added illuminated punts for night punting. It is estimated that approximately 100,000 American teenagers and young adults visit Cancun for spring break every year. Aberdeen, Scotland will host the Aberdeen and North East Beer Festival from November 7th to 9th. The Duxford Imperial War Museum is primarily devoted to the war history of the twentieth century. It is also available for weddings. Parking is free. No dogs. [BOMP.]

Incidentally, as the bumper to the post-credits commercial, they show Heather being dumped by the donkey. Again. I am evidently not the only person who thought that was one of the greatest moments in reality television history.

Fade up on the Diamante K Bungalows, which Phil calls "a Caribbean paradise on the east coast of Mexico." Cut to Phil, strolling on the rocks of said Caribbean paradise. Phil has traded in his usual upper-crust, Banana-republican, charity-safari-event duds for jeans and a white T-shirt. Like all men, Phil should wear jeans and a white T-shirt all the time, because he looks hot enough to cause blisters. (Just kidding, Phil. Deep down, I love you for your mind.) (Mostly.) Eat, Rest, Mingle. There is a dramatic shot of The Mat Of Destiny. Man, do you remember how small the first-season yellow mat was? Now it's this enormous thing from Crazy Louie's Discount Geometric Area Rugs. I suppose it's all about a more secure landing surface, in case someone should be tempted to wipe out, like Bill and Rob did in Paris. Probably, The Amazing Slip and Fall isn't so much the ambience they're going for. Interestingly, there's a shot of Zach without anything wrapped around his noggin, and although he looks substantially better, he really does look eerily Guarini-esque. Except, of course, that he's not looking at the camera, sending telepathic messages that you should take your clothes off. Now, red-and-yellow flags, sealed envelopes, and a very special shot of the Exposition Hands, which are on speed-demon mode like they've had sixty-seven cups of coffee. I guess the show ran long.

3:18 AM. Twins. As the typically eagle-eyed forum posters have pointed out, Derek generally wears red, and Drew generally wears blue, so we may be on the road to telling them apart. I have to say, it's a lot easier than looking for a damn silver earring -- yes, Team Xerox, I'm looking at you. The clue tells them to fly to London, and then get themselves to Cambridge, where the drunken cameramen are careening around the next route marker, which awaits in front of a local business called Scudamore's. They get $440 for the leg. Excuse me, $440? What the...what are they, subsidizing hookers now? Good grief. The Twins voice over that they communicate nonverbally, and I start trying really hard not to think about their now-famous naked pictures again. Ew. They take off for Cancun.

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Amazing Race

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