Amazing Race
Why Did You Have To Take Your Pants Off?!, Part II

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Miss Alli: B | Grade It Now!
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Shut up and Singapore

Zach calls over to her that they'll stay somewhere nice, but she is embroiled in another conversation with Drew. "Why does he get to make all the decisions?" she bitches. Uh, because if you made the decisions, your team would still be in Florida? Just a guess. She complains that she "would like to be consulted."

Elsewhere, Asshat talks to some friendly fellow tourists, who give Ian a map and a lead on an inexpensive hotel. Thanks, friendly fellow tourists!

Nerd Lust finds a room at last -- apparently one that is agreeable to Flo, because she's not screaming or throwing things. Zach explains that the whole fearsome foursome is planning on sharing a room. Chicka-bamp!

The Bald Snark has found a hotel as well. Can I just ask...whatever happened to the hearty season-one racers with the sleeping outside and everything? I think the racers have gone soft.

On the way to the Nerd Lust Hotel, Derek and Drew chortle smarmily in their cab about the sleeping arrangements. "I might be sleeping with Zach," Derek observes cleverly. Not.

Asshat gets a hotel. Wow, they're lucky that someone let Ian inside in that hat. He asks for "one hot shower." Oh, Asshat in the shower. Just another thing I don't need to think about.

Nerd Lust checks in. I would point out that I scoped out their hotel's web site, and it claims to offer a "choice of therapeutic pillows." Flo will require six or seven of them, I think. And she'll need to take them with her, probably, because the therapy isn't going to be over by morning.

John Vito and Jill, on the other hand, have selected a cheap hotel of exactly the type Flo would never tolerate. Their air conditioning doesn't work, and neither does their TV. They manage not to complain. Interesting, isn't it?

Nerd Lust Room. Flo and Zach are lying in bed, only Flo has artfully arranged the covers so that her entire thigh is exposed. Really subtle, that. I saw some chicks in Vegas last weekend who could give her some tassels if she thinks the thigh-flash won't make the point. She voices over some crap about how in her ideal world, she would have been sharing a room with Drew. Shut up, Flo. Note, by the way, that whenever they show her with Drew, she somehow appears to be pleasant to him. I suspect Zach wouldn't mind that kind of treatment, with or without the naked thigh. Lights out. Thank goodness.

A lovely morning dawns in Singapore. "Someone will probably be eliminated today," Zach says as he and Flo walk down the street. "Not us." Yeah, probably not. In their cab, Ken and Gerard enjoy the fact that Gerard's cup of coffee came in a little coffee hammock. Wow, the things you learn about other countries. Elsewhere, JVJ gets a cab, as does Asshat. Everyone gets to the gardens and finds nothing open yet. A couple of the cabbies who are hanging around are able to provide the information that Margaret Thatcher (in this context) is a flower, and the cabbies even show them where on the map of the gardens the flower might be. As they all gather outside the entrance, Teri and Ian grump about everyone else being there too, as if they were hoping no one else could make it from their hotel to the gardens without spraining an ankle or getting arrested. Meanwhile, Jill gives Jon Bon Vito a pep talk. "We are not going out today," she says flatly. BAH! Jump up, turn around, spit! Stop that!

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Amazing Race

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